The Freelancers React to red vs blue

Human Peer Bonding

Fade in to Tucker on top of Blue Base.

Tucker: Let me get this straight... You're telling me that the guy that showed up here, scared the living shit out of us, shot at Caboose, and beat the hell out of the Reds wasn't a guy at all? That he was a chick? And, on top of that, she was your ex-girlfriend?

"An excellent summary." CT grinned, amused.

Church: In a nutshell, yes. That's an excellent summary.

Caboose: I should have known... She didn't like me... Girls never like me.

Tucker: Caboose, I don't think anybody likes you.

I like him! Sweet bean. Rider cooed.

Everyone else looked at her weirdly but didn't comment on it.

Caboose: I like me...

Tucker: I don't think I've seen a girl that mean before. Are you sure she's a chick? And not a guy? Or like, part guy part shark?

South snorted. "You part shark, Tex?"

Tex just glared at her. "Are you? You look the part." She retorted.

South just grinned wolfishly.

Church: I'm pretty sure I'd know if Tex was a guy. And I'm definitely sure I would know if she was part shark.

Caboose: Wait, oh wait, oh wait. If she's a girl, then why is she named Tex?

Church: Uh... because she's from Texas.

Caboose: ...

Church: Trust me, it makes sense. And you can't blame her for being so aggressive. It's not entirely her fault to begin with.

Tex raised a brow. "Oh, I've gotta hear this one."

Tucker: Right. You should blame God. First he makes hangovers, and now, half women, half sharks that won't even sleep with me. Thanks for nothing, God!

Niner rolled her eyes. "I don't think that there's a single woman in the world who would want to sleep with you." She huffed.

Church: Will you shut up with that? She got recruited into some kind of weird experimental program back during basic where they infused her armor with this really aggressive A.I. I'm not really sure how it all works, but all I know is it made her meaner and tougher than hell.

Wash peered at Tex. "Do you have an AI?"

"No."

"Goddammit." Wash groaned and buried his face in his hands. "I'm so not looking forward to when you do get your AI."

Tex just let out a huff of laughter.

Caboose: A.I... What's the A stand for?

Church: Artificial.

Caboose: ...What's the I-

Church: (interrupts) Intelligence.

Caboose: Ooohhhhhhhhh what was the A again?

Church: Let's move on.

Tucker: So, the military put this program in her head, and that program made her a killer, but underneath it all she's really just a sweet, down-home girl?

Church: Oh hell no. She's always been a rotten bitch. It's just now she's a rotten bitch with cybernetic enhancements.

South burst out laughing and Tex glared at the screen. "I'm going to kill him," She announced. "Slowly."