Sarge gets in the Warthog's driver's seat, Simmons mans the turret gun.
Simmons: Alright, hit it!
Cut to Sheila who the Reds drive past. Cut to Church coughing from the smoke caused by the grenade exploding.
Church: What the he-? (cough) Who tried to blow me up with a grenade? ...And why am I coughing? I don't have lungs.
"Reflex?" CT suggested.
"Idiocy might be more accurate," Carolina huffed.
CT and Tex let out twin snorts.
The Warthog flies over him.
Sarge: Yeehaw! Ride 'em, cowboy!
Church backs away.
Simmons: Hey, Sarge, (leaping from the Warthog) hold on a sec! (Warthog comes to a stop) Did you see something weird, Sarge? (Sarge exits the jeep)
Sarge: Yes, I did. Once, when I was a small child, I saw a man, who claimed to be my uncle, do this thing with a garden hose that still haunts me to thi-
"I- what?" York said, staring at the screen with abject horror while Carolina blinked rapidly at the screen, startled.
"All in favor of not talking about this, raise your hand," Niner said, her hand and everyone else's shooting into the air.
Simmons: Whoa whoa whoa, I meant did you see something weird just now. Like five seconds ago.
Sarge: Oh. Then no.
Simmons: What was all that stuff about your uncle?
Sarge: I keep telling everyone he wasn't my uncle! He wasn't!
"Oh no that's so much worse."
"Reminding everyone, let's not talk about this."
Simmons: ...You wanna talk about it?
Sarge: Just get back in the damn jeep. (he gets back in)
Cut to Tucker and Caboose approaching Lopez and aiming their weapons at him.
Tucker: Hold it right there, hombre! (to Caboose) I told you throwing that grenade through the teleporter would work! Church is gonna be so impressed.
Caboose: And Sheila will love me again, and this time for who I am and not just for my stunning good looks. But for those too.
Lopez: Al diablo con estos mamones azules. Son tan estúpidos como parecen. [Damn these blue bastards. They really are as stupid as they look.]
O'Malley: (to Lopez) Your soul is a cavern of lies!
Bold of you to assume I had a soul in the first place. Rider crowed.
Wash leaned over to Maine and whispered, "Same could be said about Florida." Maine rumbled in response, his lips quirked in amusement.
Tucker: What the hell are you two talking about?
Lopez: Has ganado esta vez, pero su reinado cruel de tiranía será de breve duración. Los rojos van a ser vengados-- [You may have won this round, but your cruel reign of tyranny will be short lived. The red people will be avenged--]
YOU ARE READING
The Freelancers React to red vs blue
FanfictionI literally got bored and kidnapped the Freelancers and made them watch red vs blue. That's all there is to it [Updates Saturday]
