The Freelancers React to red vs blue

Head Noob in Charge

Church, Tucker, and Caboose are standing next to the tank outside Blue Base.

Church: Yeah I'll let you in on a little secret, I've uh... I've actually got a girl back home.

Tex raised a brow. Huh, really? She must be an idiot if she's willingly with him. She thought amused.

Tucker: Oh yeah? Girlfriend or wife?

Church: No, man, she's just my girlfriend, ya know? We were gonna get married, but I got shipped out... ah, you know how it works.

Tucker: Oh, well, you gonna marry her when you get back?

Caboose: I'm not gonna get married. My dad always said, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?"

Right when he said that, York had been taking a sip of his soda but choked on it when the new guy said that. "Did he really-" Cough. "Just say that?" He demanded, coughing while South started howling with laughter.

Church: Hey, rookie.. did you just call my girlfriend a cow?

Tucker: No, I think he called her a slut!

By this point, both York and South were laughing hysterically.

Church: I'll tell you what, noob, I could sit out here and listen to you insult my girlfriend all day long, but as it turns out, I got a lot more important job for you to do.

CT raised an eyebrow. "His girl must feel so special." She said dryly, which sent York and South into another laughing fit.

Caboose: Great.

Church: See, we've got this General.

Tucker: Right, the General guy.

Church: ...who likes to come by and make random inspections of bases. So what I'm gonna have you do, is I'm gonna have you go in the base, and stand right next to the flag at attention, just in case he decides to come by.

Caboose: When is he coming by?

Tucker: We never know. Could be today, could be a week from now.

Caboose: You want me to stand at attention for a week?

Maine chuckled and rumbled something to Wash. Wash blinked, surprised. "Really?" Maine nodded. "Well fuck."

"What did he say?" Carolina asked him.

"He said that his squadron did something similar to their rookie before he joined Freelancer. They had him 'guard' a doorway where almost no one went because they had a very valuable 'prisoner' because he got annoying." Wash told them.

York whistled. "Damn." He sounded impressed (and a little nervous) while Maine just chuckled.

Church: You know, you don't sound very grateful. This is the most important job at the whole base. You're gonna be right there with the flag.

Caboose: What's so important about the flag?

Church: Oh, come on, don't they teach you guys anything in training?

Caboose: They didn't tell us anything about a flag. Why is it so important?

Church: Because it's the flag, man, you know, it's the f... it's the flag, it's... Tucker, you tell him why the flag is so important.

Tucker: Well... it's... it's complicated. Uh... It's blue, we're blue.

"You hear that guys? They're both blue. Stop the fucking press." South snarked. North snorted, his eyes twinkling with amusement.