Unrequited? Air at Sea

59. What do you want?

Arie continued....

I couldn't stop crying until almost an hour later.
I lay in my bed looking up at the ceiling when my phone dings.

I look at the screen it's a notification that Caleb text me.

I toss the phone aside I can't bring myself to read it.

He knows...how will I ever face him?

I feel so cold, inside and out also more alone than I ever recall feeling.

***************************************************

**{Tell Me/by: Sabrina Claudio}

I take a breath and place my ear flat against his door.

I can't hear anything. I take a step back trying to build up the courage to knock but it never comes.
My knees tremble from the angst. I'm filled to the brim with conflicting emotions. Anger, anxiety, sadness, humiliation, mental and emotional exhaustion, shame...so much shame.

They know...they both know.

But the strongest emotion I feel urges me to reach for the door knob and enter without knocking.

Yearning...so much yearning that makes every single cell inside feel cold and lonely.

Already regretting who I'm yearning for. His touch, taste, and scent- I crave so much I'm trembling.

Trish is laying at the foot of his bed on his stomach looking at his laptop when I enter.

He turns his head to glance at me before rolling his eyes.

"Get out. I'm done arguing with you for today." He says as he returns his focus to his screen.

I stand there for a moment not knowing what to do with myself- his dismissal cuts too deep presently.

I take a breath and pull up the hem of my oversized night shirt and toss it aside.

Trish lifts his gaze and his eyes skim my naked body slowly.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

I walk over and lift the sheet that barely covers him. He's naked beneath it.

I slide his laptop out of the way and slowly push my naked body beneath his. He watches me with a confused expression.

I shuffle and adjust until he rests between my legs before laying back to stare up at him.

His eyebrows are furrowed in confusion as he observes me like I'm a fish in a tank.

He may think I'm insane but I don't care. I'm relieved when my racing heart and trembling limbs relax beneath his weight.

"You give me whiplash...You know that don't you?"

I blink at him.

He studies my face for a minute before sighing.

He shakes his head as he relaxes his full weight against me- trapping me beneath him as he rests his forearms on both sides of my face.

I'm relieved that his demeanor softens, I sincerely don't want to argue anymore.

"You say you'll be my master, then date my friend. Scream, slap, bite me, then wash my hair. Say words that cut me to the deepest of depths, throw a book at my head, and now you're naked beneath me. What do you expect of me? I won't know if you don't tell me."

"Trish....I'm scared." I admit.

"Then go to your boyfriend. Again why are you beneath me?" He says as his eyes dart across my face.