If it was up to you, you wouldn't leave this situation like this, you wouldn't be with Eren now smoking some weed to forget about being here and feel better.
If it were up to you, you would lay yourself down on your Mikasa and talk to her the whole night. You would apologies for millions and millions times just so she could understand; even though it wouldn't stay the same. The whole feeling of happiness vanished in some way. You thought: "Maybe she'll never be happy again.. me neither then."
You were selfish and you knew it, but sometimes you go way too far for the sake of the protection. But it's not for you; it's for the ones you love.
It always seems like you hurt people just to get away, but you only do the needed for them. When you know you're a problem, you try finding a solution for it.
It is always the same solution; hurt them and make yourself a bad guy, just so they start the better beginning.
Must look like a big problem when it comes to someone you really do love, like her or maybe your family; just your brothers who are left. However it doesn't make it seem to others like you do that for them. They would never see it that way, more like, they would call you a problem than see themselves as one.
Eren didn't question any further after the interaction in the car. He saw the way your eyes got all puffy and red so he knew he shouldn't talk to a girl after crying; she might cry even more and that's what he least wanted.
He just rolled some weed with you and left you enjoy his company, even though you almost forgot you were with him the whole time. But what could you do, after what happened under the tree, no one would remember a guy next to you smoking weed just to give you some company.
Well, it didn't matter to him much. He stood silent however much you needed him to be. Eren did feel good being around. You both had that weird addiction that somehow kept you being alike.
The differences between you two were that he cut himself off with all those drugs and stuff, but you still lurked around them. You weren't having them on total. You have some small things just to keep you alive and well, same with weed.
You had something in mind after ending this year of college. You would probably drop out to focus on the family and the works you'd do for the sake of Reiner's and Colt's schooling.
If you couldn't have what you wanted, they will. Reiner offered to also work, but you of course stopped him the second he started to talk about it. He had his dream of who to become and you.. you'd do everything in the sake of that to happen.
Cole's still away from college, but he'll need it. You wouldn't like from him to end up like you in any way or like your mother and father.
Sometimes thinking about them both brings you all those times you whished they never met each other. They never really looked happy or in love. Your theory as a child was: she got pregnant and he had to stay because of us.
After all maybe you were right to some point. Everything you ever wanted was a life of silence. You wanted a happy family who never argue and are not without both of their parents.
You all of your brothers to be together,but now one part is missing. That same part is missing from everyone's hearts who knew him as he was.
You don't even know if your father heard about it. Did he know what happened to your mother and brother? If he did, why hasn't he done anything already?
"So what do you think about doing now?" Eren suddenly asked, which got you out of your trans.
"Umm.. I'll just take care of what I need I guess. More look after my family and less about everything else. We can't go on without damn money soo," you gave him a worried smile.
YOU ARE READING
blindness
Fanfiction[mikasa x fem reader] as long as y/n knew mikasa, she never really liked her. she hated her for breaking her best friend's heart, jean. but with a new college year and too much time being spent with her, is she ever going to have a happy ending? whi...
