fool for you || boyxboy

Chapter 33

01:43 AM

Getting high or drunk is nothing new to Josiah lately. Especially getting high is something he has been doing a lot more often than he likes to admit. Tonight isn't any different, except he's drunk too. Though he's more tipsy than drunk, regardless of that he's anything but sober and that's all he wanted for his birthday. Being sober has been quite a drag lately all because his mind won't shut up and keeps reminding him about no other person than Noah.

Even tonight, during his birthday, Josiah finds himself constantly thinking and wondering about the younger guy despite not having spoken to him in months. He has tried everything to forget about Noah. It started with him deleting the younger guy's number off his phone and blocking him from every social media after learning that Noah had done the exact same thing. But Josiah found himself unblocking Noah's number and social media accounts just two days later, in the hope that the younger guy had done the same. Noah hadn't. Still hasn't.

It's been almost three month and Josiah is still blocked, he doesn't know anything about Noah or what he's been up to and it has him going insane. He's crankier than usual, his temper is nowhere to be found and everyone and everything just irritates him.

Blocking and deleting Noah from everywhere isn't the only thing Josiah tried. He also tried to sleep it away with different people, hoping to make himself feel better, happier, fulfilled even. But none of the people he slept with helped him become any of those things or forget about Noah. Not even Valentine or Kairo helped him in this case. Not that it matters though, because it's just sex between Kairo and him despite their falling out about their 'daughter' that was never his and Valentine is a different story. The two of them got in a really bad fight because of his distant and cranky behavior days ago and they haven't spoken ever since. It's pretty obvious to Valentine that his behavior has to do with Noah not being around. That's what their fight was about, along with Josiah accidentally calling Valentine by Noah's name instead of his own.

Months of not seeing or speaking to Noah has been a personal Hell for Josiah and he hates it. Some might say that he's probably heartbroken over Noah cutting him out of his life and fully ghosting him, but he's not. All he is is confused and misses Noah a little. He told the younger guy he loved him before he left and he meant that. Josiah knows he still does, but if Noah wants nothing to do with him then that's fine. It's been a few months and he's doing fine, he can take another few if he has to. He can take an entire year or simply never speak to Noah ever again, but he wants closure. All he wants and feels like he deserves from the younger guy is some sort of explanation.

Josiah sucks his teeth and takes a sip from his drink, mentally telling himself to stop thinking about Noah for once. It's his birthday, he should be living it up and enjoying his night instead of worrying about the younger guy. He should be higher or drunker than he currently is - maybe then he'll forget about Noah. The same Noah who he's currently seeing sitting in the VIP section right across from the one he rented for his birthday, talking and giggling to some guy.

It can't be can it? Noah wouldn't come back without dropping by his place or sending him a text, Josiah knows this. The younger guy isn't like that. Even if he did become like that, Lolani would tell him about Noah being back. They had a good talk a while ago and Lolani told him he'd talk to Noah for him because they should at least talk about whatever happened before he left.

A frown appears on Josiah's face as he tries to make out whether it's really Noah sitting in the section across his or if he's seeing things. He looks down at the drink in his hand and blinks his eyes a few times before looking up and towards the other section again. ''What the fuck,'' He mutters to himself when he doesn't see Noah anymore. This is getting out of hand. Whatever he's currently going through that has to do with the younger guy is becoming unhealthy. A hand is placed on Josiah's shoulder and he quickly turns around to find Gideon standing by him.