fool for you || boyxboy

Chapter 3

The apartment is quiet, just like the previous night. Lolani is probably still asleep since it's a Saturday morning. Noah can only assume it got pretty late last night meaning that Lolani is most definitely hungover. He'll try to be as quiet as possible since the small apartment they share is unnecessarily loud.

It's a couple of minutes before seven in the morning — the crack of dawn. His reason for being up so early? He couldn't sleep. He spent most of the night crying and turning around in Josiah's bed, thinking about Princeton. Two years of his life, wasted. All for some guy who Noah thought loved him and wanted to spend the rest of his life with. Thinking about it now, and all night too, Noah realizes how stupid and naive he was being. So many red flags, so many people warning him and trying to get him to take those love goggles off his face, yet he refused. He refused because seeing Princeton's true colors was just so scary and real.

If only he had listened to his friends and mother when they told him that Princeton was bad news. Maybe then he wouldn't have wasted two years of his life in a relationship that was bound to fail anyway.

The door to Lolani's bedroom opens and out steps Lolani himself. He's wearing a black satin pajama with a matching durag on his head as a way to protect his waves. ''Noah?'' He calls out, looking down the hallway.

Noah looks over to Lolani who's standing in the doorway to his own room. ''Hey,'' He greets casually. ''Did I wake you up?''

''No,'' Lolani crosses his arms over his chest. ''But you've kept me up instead.''

''Oh.. I'm sorry... How, though? I wasn't even home.''

''Exactly! You left without saying anything to anyone. I've called multiple times only to realize that you left your phone at home. Your mother is worried sick since you haven't texted her goodnight.''

''Oh..'' Noah follows after Lolani who had walked past him, to the kitchen. ''I, uh.. I needed some time alone.. To think. I'm sorry. I- I didn't think you would care if I left. Or anyone for that matter.''

Lolani turns around and hands Noah his phone once they're in the kitchen. "What makes you think that?" He wonders.

"Because... You know.."

"Because what? Because you ignored me and the rest, left the group chat, had a fight with Josiah and didn't hit anyone up all summer just for that fuck nigga you're dating?"

"I mean, if you put it like that.."

The shameful way Noah looks down makes Lolani snort and shake his head. He was never mad at Noah for the things he did for Princeton. His best friend is just madly in love with a literal bum of a guy and everybody can see it. Lolani just hopes Noah comes around soon and realizes how much better he can get than Princeton. There's so much Noah has to experience and he just prays and wishes his best friend's eyes open soon.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to call Princeton a fuck nigga." Lolani apologizes, not meaning any of it.

"No, no, I totally agree." Noah says, pressing the home button of his phone. It's dead. He needs to charge it, great. Now he's left wondering if Princeton has reached out to him the past couple of hours or not. Though, he doubts his ex-boyfriend did. Princeton probably couldn't care any less about how he feels right now. Which isn't a first. "He is a fuck nigga. The biggest fucking fuck nigga to ever walk this fucking earth. Fuck, I hate him."

There it is: the anger Noah had been waiting for. Just hours ago he was numb because he was completely in shock. Then there was sadness that had washed over him which had left him crying in Josiah's bed. While he was walking home after sneaking out off Josiah's apartment, he felt defeated and hopeless for allowing Princeton to play him like this. And now there's anger.

Noah feels so angry. He wants to yell at Princeton and cuss him out for lying to him, deceiving him and playing him. He wants Princeton to know how he feels and how stupid he looks in front of everybody once he tells them that they're over. All Noah wants is to hurt Princeton because at the end of the day he's more hurt than angry. He really loved Princeton, still does, and genuinely believed they had a future together.

Obviously they don't.

Lolani is taken back by the way Noah is cussing and speaking Princeton's name. This is a first. "What?" He gasps. "What's going on? What did I miss, bestie? Did he do something? I just know he did. Are we beating his ass? You know I'm down if you are."

"We're not beating anybody's ass, but.." Noah sighs, slumping his shoulders. The texts Princeton sent him are engraved in his mind and he's trying to forget about them. The thought that his ex-boyfriend was sleeping with someone else, if not other people, makes him sick. Especially knowing that the two of them had sex without a condom. Princeton was his first and this is how the other guy does him. Noah is vexed, to say the least. "He.. He cheated on me. I think. I'm not—"

"I fucking knew it!" Lolani exclaims loudly. "What did I tell you? Didn't I fucking tell you? Did I not tell you that nigga is hiding something? Did  I not tell you that he was probably cheating and living his best life and you should too instead of staying loyal to him?" He's talking loudly, still. His loudness is what makes him who he is. "You could've been living your best life and getting slutted out by the finest guys on and off campus, but you choose to be loyal to a cheating ass motherfucker instead. Hell, you could've had Josiah rearranging your guts but you wanted to wait and save yourself for Princeton instead. Fuck ass Princeton who has been fucking everybody and their momma on that campus he— Oh, fuck, I'm sorry. I– I got carried away."

Noah shakes his head dismissively, rapidly blinking away the tears in his eyes. He isn't crying because of Princeton, he's crying because Lolani is right. He did everything in a bid to keep his ex-boyfriend happy so he would be able to call Princeton his, just to get played. The way Lolani says all those things makes him feel so stupid for being that in love with someone.

Saving himself for Princeton wasn't even worth it. The sex wasn't all that great and it ruined his entire first time experience. He just wishes he could redo it. It doesn't matter with who at this point, as long as they make him come too because he has yet to experience that during sex.

"He didn't even make me come." Noah bursts out into loud sobs, leaving Lolani confused and lost. "I saved myself for him, thinking it was going to be special and it fucking wasn't. My first time fucking sucked. I waited nineteen years to be let down by some cheating asshole who didn't even bother to make me come. We were barely naked. He just put it in. I'm so sorry for ignoring you for some selfish piece of shit who didn't even bother to figure out what I like during sex." He cries out. "This summer was the worst and I was too embarrassed to hit anyone up because I had made my bed so I had to lay in it too. He said the fucking hickeys in his neck were from mosquito bites and the fucking guy I caught him talking to was just a friend. A friend who I heard him tell he can't wait to be with again so he can fill him up. I was so damn blind and ignorant, for what? For some community dick."

As much as Lolani doesn't want to laugh, he finds himself doing so anyway. He can't help it. The way Noah is roasting Princeton and dragging his weak sex game has Lolani cackling. This is the first time he's hearing Noah speak like this about sex and Princeton, making things way funnier than they're supposed to be.

Lolani ends up taking Noah to his room and comforting him until he's calm again. They, mostly Noah, talk about their summer all morning until they pass out.

Noah doesn't bother to charge his phone until after he wakes up in the late afternoon. There are a bunch of missed calls and text messages from Princeton that Noah just doesn't feel like dealing with, so he doesn't. Instead of reading the texts or calling Princeton back, he blocks and deletes his ex-boyfriend's number.

This is the end of them.