awkward.

forty-one

OTM

I was so nervous the whole way I drove to Beys house. I didn't know I was going to see her or not but I was nervous to even be close to where she's laying her head.

The more time passes, the worst I feel. I'm a terrible person for hurting someone as innocent as her.

Kelly gives me the dirtiest looks in classes now that she knows I'm in there. I never responded to the lengthy message she sent me.

I know I did what I did but I'm still not going go let her disrespect me so it was better that I didn't respond at all.

It seems like I can't get away from any of Beys friends now. I used to never see them hue after what happened with Bey, they're everywhere.

I can't walk into a bathroom without seeing Megan or Kelly.

When I passed the farm on the way to her house, I saw something that made me put my car in reverse.

There was a sign hanging up from the welcome place. I had to get out of my to read it, it said 'TEMPORARILY CLOSED. WILL BE BACK BEFORE END OF WEEK.'

Temporarily closed? What happened?

I got back in my car and drove up to her house. Her car wasn't there, neither was the other ones that are usually out front.

I'm confused. Did something happen to them?

Well she's not responding to my dms so I can't even ask her.

I could just ask Kelly when I get to school tomorrow. It's obvious she doesn't want to talk to me but I just want to know if everything's okay.

I didn't leave what I got her on her doorstep since I didn't know when she would be back and went home.

I followed my regular routine of texting her before I went to sleep knowing she wasn't going to respond.

It's what I get. I'm so mad at myself for making such dumb decisions because I was scared.

We didn't know each other that long but I feel so connected to her. I can't stop thinking about her.

Ming was right, I am Ugly Nika.

I sighed and closed my eyes.

The next morning I woke up and texted Bey good morning and the weather for today. It was partly cloudy with the possibility of rain later in the afternoon.

This is the dumb shit I should've done when I wasn't being ignored. I should've said hi to Kelly.

It was a Monday so I wasn't putting any effort into my outfit. I got dressed in leggings and a hoodie and only put on light makeup.

By the time I got to school, I was already in a bad mood. I had to get Ming ready for school too and drop her off at the neighbors house since she can't be home alone and she was being so difficult.

I regret teaching her how to cuss because now this little girl thinks it's okay to cuss at me just because I hit her.

I don't care how young she is, I'm going to argue back every time.

Because Ming was being so difficult and I spent more time than I planned arguing with her, I ended up being late to my first period.

My first period teacher is one of that lame ass teachers that locks the door as soon as the late bell rings.

Who's coming to first period on time anyway?

That was enough to piss me off but then when I was quietly working, he came and asked me what I did to my hair knowing it wasn't mine.