Chapter 12: FlashBacks

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What it was that Ray had in fact said to me had kind of stung for a bit of some time, if it was that I was not going to lie to my self either. As I kind of just seemed to stand there, and I just seemed to stare at the field that was in front of me right now. As I was of course taking a little bit of a water break right now. As it was that the scrimmages were playing out, in preparation for the game we were about to play tomorrow.
I kind of just seemed to breathe in a little bit to my self, as I looked on over to Johny, all at once. As he was in fact in the number one receiver spot, that I was used to being in. When it was that I had been a starter, and back when it was that I had actually been good at football, at that.
I kind of was a little bit jealous of it if I was not going to lie. I knew that I should be in the spot that it was that he was in right now. But not only just that, I should not even be in the place that I was in right now any ways, at that, never the less.
I kind of felt like a part of it was my own fault. Which was what it was that kind of stung so badly as to just what it was that Ray had said to me. As I knew that he was right with just what it was that he had told me.
He was in fact correct on the fact that it was of course. That I still had not said sorry to my self. As I was still angry with my self for it, all at the exact same time too.
Now, there was not much that it was that I could have done about the injury that I had suffered. But I knew that there was plenty that I could have done afterwards. Such as the fact that it was that I knew that I should not have been stupid, and I should not have got on to those drugs.
Which kind of reminded me as to the fact that it was that Thomas was here right now. As I kind of felt like I wanted to blame him for it. As I knew that he was the one that was the drug dealer. And he knew exactly as to just what it was that he was doing, all at the exact same time too, at that.
But not only that, but I knew that it was not even his fault him self. I knew that it was that his father had grown him up to be the way that it was that he had in fact been. And he was actually making strives to fix what it was that haunted his past.
Mean while, I was simply just trying to do shit to make me feel numb to it all, and to pretend like it was that it had never happened, at that. Which was the completely wrong way that I needed to be looking at this all. If it was that I was in fact going to be for real with my self, once again.
I kind of just seemed to stand there, and I kind of just seemed to stare for just a few seconds longer. Until in the end, I just then did in fact seem to start to wake my self up a little bit, all at the exact same time too. And I just then did in fact seem to start to look on over to just what it was that was in fact going on, on the field right now.
Before it was that the play had even started, it was clear to me right now, never the less. That Johny was about to play a deep route. Which was not the best for him, if it was that I could see the play that was about to be called for him before it was that it had even started, at that.
Though I always seemed to read receivers fairly well, which was why the coach at the old school did in fact some times make me play corner back as well. As I kind of just seemed to stand there, and I kind of just seemed to get my mind, and my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that it was that I had in fact just seemed to even be thinking on long before now all of the sudden, at that, never the less, once again.
That was when in the end, I just then did in fact begin to start to hear the voice of the starting quarterback begin to start to yell, all at the exact same time too, all at once. Which it was that I was not jealous that he was on the field rather than me. As I was in stead jealous of my good friend Johny in stead, as he was playing what I wanted to play.
I just kind of let out a little bit of a soft sigh to my self, all at once. As I just did my best to get my mind and my focus off of all of those other thoughts, all at the exact same time too. As I just then did in fact begin to start to continue to hear the voice of the quarterback, as it was that he did in fact just seem to continue to yell. And I did in fact just seem to continue to listen as to just what ever it was that he did in fact feel like he even had to say, all at the exact same time too, at that.
"Huh- hike!" He said, as it was clear that he was trying to get the defense off guard, all at the exact same time too, all at once, at that. So that it was that he could in fact get an easy first down, and get the chains moving, as it was in fact a 3rd and 4 right now, all at the exact same time too. Which I did not blame him for of course, as well.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to stand there, and I had in fact just seemed to stare for a bit more time. That was when I saw the ball fly up on a shotgun snap, all at once. And it went straight in to the hands of the quarterback, as well, at that.
As I just then did in fact seem to start to go right on ahead. And I of course, did in fact seem to start to all of the sudden see the play develop. As I saw that to no such sort of surprise to me what so ever, all at once. Johny did a little bit of a jiggle, as if it was going to be a short curl route, at that.
Which did in fact surprise the corner back, all at once. As he then stepped in front of the receiver, all at the exact same time too. As it was clear that he was fully ready to go on ahead and pick the ball off, all at the exact same time as well, at that.
How ever, just as it was that it had in fact just seemed like he had in fact kind of began to start to do as such a thing like that, all at once. That was when I just then did in fact seem to start to see Johny begin to start to sprint of the field, all at the exact same time too, all at once, at that. As I kind of just knew that whilst he might not be the fastest in the world.
He was fast enough for the corner back to not be able to notice on time, and to catch up to him. As he had a wide open shot down the field, due to the fact that the defense had called a safety blitz, which was a risky move, none the less, at that. As it was some thing that could destroy them, or it could result in a big play for them.
I got my eyes off of Johny for just a split second, all at the exact same time too, all at once. As I got my eyes on the quarterback, as well, at that, never the less. As I just kind of seemed to start to see, and I began to start to notice that he was being taken down for a sack, all at the exact same time too.
Or at least so I thought, as I saw that out of the corner of my eyes, it was clear that the quarterback had already seen the blitz coming. And that he had already tossed the ball to Johny, all at the exact same time too, all at once, at that, never the less.
Which, I watched the ball sail through the air, all at the exact same time too, at that. As it did not take long for me to notice what so ever, never the less, all at once. With the pressure that the quarterback had been facing, he had to quickly let the ball out of his hands. And he had not gaged the distance correctly, what so ever.
As I saw that the ball was in fact going up short, all at the exact same time too, all at once, at that. Johny also seemed to notice that as well how ever, as he had his back turned towards the ball. As it was clear that he was ready to catch the pass.
Johny slowed him self down a lot, all at once, as he stood there ready to catch the ball, all at once. As it was that he stood still, that was just when I then did in fact seem to start to notice, all at the exact same time too, at that. That the corner back had in fact just seemed to catch up to him.
As he slammed in to Johny just as it was that Johny had manage to get the ball in to his hands. Which Johny was normally good at catching, and getting control of the ball. But not this time, as the hit was too hard, and I saw that ball fly back in to the air, all at once. Perhaps almost if there was some one there, they could have picked the ball off, at that.
I kind of winced, as I felt a little bit of a flash back to what had happened to me last year all of the sudden. As it was that I had seen Johny hit so hard, all at the exact same time too. As I quickly just then did in fact seem to start to whisper to my self all of the sudden, at that, never the less.
"Oh no..." I said to my self, as I was ready to get up from off of the bench, and help Johny. But as it was that I had in fact just seemed to start to get ready to do as such a thing like that, all at the exact same time too.
That was when I just then did in fact seem to start to notice that it was, all at once, at that. That he did in fact just seem to start to go right on ahead, all at once, at that. And he of course did in fact seem to just start to lift him self up from off of the ground, all at once, as he shook it off like nothing at all had in fact just happened.
I was in fact a little bit surprised by it at first, if it was that I was not going to lie to my self either. As it was that I had in fact kind of was in fact scared with how hard the hit had been. That was in fact until I began to start to remember where it was that I had been hit, never the less.
As it was clear that the hit had in fact been deliberate, as he had not even been supposed to have been guarding me on that play. As I kind of just shivered as all of those thoughts did in fact just seem to come in to my head all of the sudden, at that. As I just did my best to try to calm my self down all of the sudden, at that.
I got my mind, and I just then did in fact seem to start to get my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that it was that it had in fact kind of felt like I had in fact been thinking on long before now, all at once. As it was that I had in fact just seemed to see Johny lift him self up, at that.
I saw him put his hand on the shoulder of the corner back, all at once. As I saw that he had a smile on his face through his face mask. As it was that he just then did in fact begin to start to go right on ahead, all at once. And he of course did in fact begin to start to speak to the guy, at that.
I was a little bit lost as to just what it was that was in fact going on at first, at that. As I just kind of seemed to stare at him with my eyes a little bit wide, all at the exact same time too, at that. As I did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and as normal as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, at that. As I was in fact paying my full attention as to just what ever it was that Johny did in fact feel like he even had to say to the kid right now, never the less.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to go right on ahead and begin to start to do as such a thing like that, all at once, once again. That was when Johny of course did in fact seem to continue to speak to the kid, all at once. And I of course did in fact just seem to start to go right on ahead, and I did in fact just begin to start to listen as to just what ever it was that Johny felt like he had in fact even needed to say to the kid, all at once, at that.
"Great him man! That's what I like to see!" He said to him, with the biggest smile on his face possible. Which it was clear that he was in fact cheering on his own team right now, which I could not blame him for what so ever, as it was in fact also good sportsmanship.
As it was that I had in fact kind of just seemed to continue to stand there, and I had in fact just seemed to continue to stare for just a few more seconds longer, all at once. That was just when I then did in fact seem to start to all of the sudden notice that of course. That it was that the corner back did in fact have a little bit of a big smile on his face as to just what it was that Johny had in fact said to him.
As it was clear that much unlike the team that it was that I had been on at my old school. This team whilst it was that they might not be as talented as the last school. They sure as hell had a lot more team chemistry, and a better coach than the last school that it was that I had in fact been at, all at the exact same time as well.
I kind of just seemed to shake my head a little bit to my self, all at once, at that, all of the sudden. As in the end, I just then did in fact seem to just start to get my mind, and my focus off of all of the rest of those other thoughts that it was that I had in fact just seemed to be thinking on long before now, all at once, at that. As it was that I saw them heading back to the line, to get ready for a 4th down play, all at the exact same time too, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to stand there, and I had in fact just seemed to stare for just a few seconds more, all at once. That was just when I then did in fact seem to start to go right on ahead, and I then did in fact begin to start to hear some one begin to speak to me. From right beside me, all at the exact same time too.
I was in fact a little bit lost as to just what it was that was in fact even going on at first, all at once. That was until I just then did in fact begin to start to notice that the person that was speaking to me right now. Just so happened to be Thomas, all at the exact same time as well, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to stare at him. I noticed that it was that his eyes were a little bit wide. As it seemed like he was a little bit worried about some thing. As well as the fact that he seemed to be a little bit lost as to just what it was that was even going on right now.
I kind of tilted my head a little bit, all at the exact same time too. As I was in fact a little bit lost as to just what it was that was going on my self. As I kind of just seemed to go right on ahead and nod to Thomas as well. To let him know that it was safe for him to go on and continue to speak to me. As I was in fact beginning to start to pay my full attention on to just what ever it was that he did in fact feel like he even needed to say to me, all at the exact same time too.
Once it was that he had in fact just seemed to notice, and he had in fact just seemed to see me do as such a thing like that, all at once. That was when he just then did in fact seem to continue to speak to me, as well. As I of course did in fact begin to start to listen as to just what it was that he did in fact feel like he even needed to say in the very first place any ways, once again, never the less, at that.
"Are you okay Grant?" He said to me, as I began to start to realize all at once, as to just why it was that he did in fact have the look that it was that he had on his face right now. As it was clear that he had in fact noticed that some thing had been off with me just a few seconds before hand.
I felt like I was in fact a little bit sick as to just what it was that it had in fact even been about, once again. As I kind of just did my best to try to keep my self as calm, and just about as normal as I felt like I possibly could in the mean time, all at once. As I just then did in fact seem to start to go right on ahead, at that.
And I just then did in fact begin to start to dip my head a little bit low to the ground, at that. I was a little bit lost as to just what it was that was going on with me right now. As I kind of felt like I was acting a little bit like a pussy right at this very moment in time too.
This was the game of football... I should have never let it ruin my life. This was how it worked, as I knew that every single play you should be ready for what might be about to happen to you next.
You were going to get hit... That was the reason we wore pads... This was not some thing to be freaking out about what so ever, at that all right now. As I was not all too sure as to just what it was that was even going on with me right now, never the less.
I kind of just seemed to let out a little bit of a soft sigh to my self, all at once, as I got my mind and my focus off of all of that, as well. I just kind of began to start to look on over towards Thomas, all at the exact same time too, at that, none the less. As I just then did in fact seem to start to nod on over to him, as well. Clearly letting him know that I was about to speak to him.
As it was that he had in fact just seemed to start to notice me do as such a thing like that, all at once. He just then did in fact of course. Begin to start to go on ahead and nod to me. As it was clear that he was in fact letting me know that he had his full attention on to just what it was that I was in fact about to go on ahead and say to him all of the sudden, at that.
As it was that I had in fact just seemed to notice him do as such a thing like that, as well. I of course just then did in fact seem to just start to continue to speak up to him. Now that it was that I knew that he was in fact beginning to start to listen as to just what it was that I felt like I even needed to say to him right now, never the less.
"Yeah... I'm just having flashbacks..."

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