MINE (Caius Volturi)

Chapter 26

Stepping out in the sun when you have been locked inside for a long time is a daunting task. Adjusting to the bright light when all your familiarity was associated with the darkness of the void. The air dancing in the open hits different when you are not suffocated by the weight of the trauma.

Just like that, opening up to someone else is hard when mastering your emotions took ages to learn. Lying your heart and soul bare to another is difficult when you have built walls to protect it from crunching under careless feet. Accepting someone's care is odd when you have learnt to live without it.

I gulped down whatever that was choking my throat from voicing out my buried past self. "I used to live in Arizona with my sister, mom after mom remarried. I told you this before, right?"

I was still not sure whether that mind talking thing was real and not me going absolutely insane in the confinements of my cozy room back in Forks. In the dark of the night, silhouette of different objects can also become tormenting demon or blissful companions. In the silence of the night, the noises in the head become too difficult to differentiate if it happened in the daylight or played out in your head.

Although I'd doubt it was all real. He knew my favourites, he knew my whereabouts when I was not here. So I had a hunch it was not all hallucinations. But I needed assurance.

"You did." He affirmed. When a king talks he always use words, just like what he wants to hear. No nit picking, no dilly dallying. Straight to the point. Cut to the chase.

I chuckled. "Glad to know it was all real. Although, I was almost convinced that I imagined it in my sleep," We were away from the packed up city, isolated on a broad street, surrounded by old brick wall providing a boundary. It was high enough and down there all I could see was water. I stood against the wall which was reaching upto my waist. The night breeze was carrying a slight salty smell  in it along with moisture due to the water but nonetheless felt soothing.

"Didn't you ever wonder how it all happened? Why were we able to talk so easily despite being far from each other without any superficial gadget?" I questioned, eyes trained at the water. Bella fell from a cliff this tall back when Edward left her. She justified her stupidity by saying that she could see him when she would put herself in danger but Edward never confirmed that he was there. It was Bella's imagination.

But here the king himself was affirming the very thing that kept me attached to him all those months ago. His voice that took my sleep away, his presence that provided me strange comfort, it was all real. We were real, at least in those moments.

"I did." His monotonous answers felt like he was trying to just put an end to the conversation but I had always been stubborn. One more time won't hurt, right?

"Why did you talk to me?" I took a step towards him. "Don't you think this means something deep, something rare?" Few more steps, the distance between us was shortening rapidly. "Don't you think what we have should be explored instead of pushing it around?"

I stared at him, hard. My gaze demanding answers while his was blank. 

"I did not tell you a few things from my past. I did tell you the plot of my story but I didn't narrate the story. I didn't share my thoughts over everything that had happened with me and shaped me into who I am," I took a step back, creating a safe distance between us that wouldn't send my mind on a haywire. "Let's narrate the story of each other to each other. Let's be vulnerable to each other.....,"

"The first steps towards mingling of soul is to bare the souls. Are you ready to take this step with me, Caius?" I forwarded my hand towards him to take, an adamant promise to take up whatever was to come our way.

Closing my eyes, I waited for him. It was the final string to decide what was about to become of us. Two wandering self.

I felt a sudden jerk and soon I was engulfed in the harsh grip of two pale hands, tightening their hold on either side of my arms. A not so gentle shake, probably to pull me out from whatever trance I was in. Blaring, red eyes were pinning me at my spot and honestly I have never felt so threatened before.

"What are you trying to achieve with this?" his voice came out menacing, maching perfectly with his facial expression. "What do you want?"

Gulping down the lump, I whispered the obvious. "I want to know you. Caius."

"Why?" he gritted through his teeth.

"Because I just want to. That's why." I was barely managing to speak at this point.

His glare didn't soften neither did his jaw slackened. After what felt like a minute of staring at each other he spoke. "We are going back."

"No," I shouted immediately. "We can't go back. I want to know about your life. Your human life. I want to know your past and wants to share mine too. Please." I swear I was barely holding up the tears back in my eyes but I know my eyes moistened visibly because Caius' grip loosened from around me. He took a step back before sighing sharply, closing his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. He never looked more human than this moment.

And then it happened. "I was turned three thousand years ago. Some old vampire man he was. Before that I lived with bunch of soldiers ever since I was a child," I stared at me. "Happy? Now let's go."

I was shell shocked but still pulled myself out of the trance. "No I'm not happy with just this," He was beyond annoyed now but was somehow controlling himself. "Okay, you shared a part of your story. I'll share some of mine too. Fair?"

With a sigh, I started going down a not so happy memory lane. "I liked living in Forks but mom took me with herself and Bella to Arizona. And I felt a lot left out there. I didn't fit in with the kids at school because of my complexion and so I went through some.... bullying."

This was something I was not comfortable sharing with anyone. A state of mine where I was so vulnerable. I wanted to keep it hidden from the world, inside my own walls of a strong exterior, unfazed, impenetrable. Only I knew that inside I was still haunted by the fears from my past, inside I was hiding from a trauma.

I looked down, fiddling with my coat button, not knowing how to continue and what to share. But thankfully, he saved me from the misery. Surprising, very much.

"My father was a commander who died when I was five. My mother couldn't cope up with that and died as well, leaving me alone in the warrior's wing,"

I looked up at him to find him staring somewhere in the sky. His memories were much distant then mine, probably less vivid and more blurry but still as impactful as ever.

He continued. "The warriors do not know anything but justice. They were taught to never dwell on their feelings and emotions. Weighing the truth and lie, getting to the evidence, punishing the offence was their prime ambition. Warriors are made to be heartless so that their hands won't tremble while slashing neck or while stabbing another beating heart,"

Suddenly his ruby orbs found mine, fixated as if his eyes were compelling to comprehend the depth of his words. "I had never had a chance to be a human even when I was one. I was raised the way I am now and I do not have any regrets."

He just told me why he was like that. Cruel, ruthless. And he had absolutely no remorse towards that. He was just like that, built like that, moulded like that. And he had been that for more than a thousand years. It was his personality. He never tried to be anything superficial or different.

"I grew up seeing dead and blood. I slept listening to screams."

Some people are bad just bad. They don't need any tragic past or trauma to rewire to think evil. They are just born like that.

And Caius is the same. A born sadist. That's why I didn't want him to have a cruel, tragic past. Sure, living with warriors make you tough. And he is tough.

No explanation needed.

Hope you enjoyed.

Next update tomorrow.

Just wanted to let you know that you are beautiful, valid and important.

With love,

💜