Part I Chapter 1 Just fanservice?

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Nat POV

"I just need Nong Nat's heart, that's all!" purrs Max to the camera, biting his lower lip.
The screaming is deafening.

And it's not just the fans' hearts that escalate at his words.

I have to take a deep breath and hold it. I want my heart to calm down. And all I can do is look away and smile.

They all want to see me cute and embarrassed.

If only they all knew how it looks inside me.

Max does it again. I just can't take it anymore. His flirting and pining does something to me. Time stands still. And I have to force myself to understand everything as fanservice.

Nothing more.

Nothing more.

Just fanservice.

And then when the camera is off, I can feel exactly how my perception is only intent on closely inspecting his every move and word.

Does he smile differently?

Does he touch me differently?

And that look. Those eyes that just now penetrated me so deeply and more deeply in front of the camera. Is he looking at me differently?

I'm his nong and he's my pi.

Nine years of age difference make us brothers.

Brothers who cause a wave of love frenzy among fans.

We've been working together for three years.

Yes, I was almost a teeny when I met this already grown up handsome bad boy.

Yes, I didn't realize that my life would take a completely new path when I became Max's prescribed partner.

This Max, who at the beginning seemed only cool and aloof. Annoyed me and treated me like a child. Made me feel small and unimpressive.

I then became his nong. His little brother, whom he then protected after all.

So many events in which we appeared as partners.

So many eyes that saw us as more than just brothers.

But for me, Max always remained just my big hero.

The Pi who stands by me and shows me the way.

But time brought me even more.

I am not a child. No longer a teeny.

I am a man. A man with feelings and needs.

A man at the side of this adorable, sexy man.

Max is gorgeous.

And, when we get physically close, I can barely contain my feelings.

I am a man.

The cute petite man who feels an irrepressible attraction to his partner.

And Max has overcome his initial barriers and approaches me in a way that boggles my mind.

In front of a running camera.

In front of screaming fans.

He flirts and ensnares me.

Throws me glances.

Touches me.

I can smell him, feel him, hear him, see him.

Close. Very close.

Makes me want to taste him, too.

Nong Nat is out of control when Pi Max shows himself to the fans like this.

He's just a good actor.

He knows what the fans want to see and hear.

Fanservice.

After all, we finally want to star in a series.

And I keep catching myself replaying in my head all the intimate scenes we've had in our series so far.

Max, you're driving me crazy.

And I'm just showing my sweet face while you're driving me crazy.

I can't help it.

I'm so attracted to him.

I want more.

It's crazy, but I want reality to match fiction.

I want to be his partner.

Max, I want to be yours.

"Nat, are you okay? You seem so absent," I hear Max ask me when we're backstage.

I don't dare look him in the eye. Rather put on a cool facade.

I nod and start to gather my things.

"Nat!", Max grabs my arm, "What's wrong?", he asks and pulls me to him.

Don't do this, Max. Please, just let me be okay for a minute. Why can't I just be relaxed and cool like him. He always manages to come right back to reality. Only I'm still floating in the pretend heaven of our love.

"Nat!", Max takes my chin in his hand and points my face in his direction.

Oh my God! His fingers on my chin. Why is he doing this?

I have to finally react. Get a grip on yourself, Nat!

"I'm fine! I'm just tired!", I get pronounced reasonably confidently.

And I look into his eyes. Those beautiful eyes that completely blow me away. Those sexy laugh lines around his big, bright eyes.

"I'll drive you home, come on!" he whispers, putting his hand on my head.

As always!

Pi Max is a wonderful big brother. He takes good care of me.

I can't hold his gaze and start to continue packing my things again.

He will drive me home and I will go through another sleepless night.

And our fanservice can then continue in my personal head cinema.

I can't help my fantasies. They will pull me deeper into the abyss of our fiction again.

I know it.

I feel it.

I want him.

I just want to be his.

He drives me home.

And as soon as I'm alone again, the fantasies overtake me.

And our fanservice becomes reality in my mind.



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