Falling Through Portals

Rebellious Stranger

Chapter 33

"The sun is hot. The moon is beautiful, and strange lights pass over head as we all pretend to sleep.

Welcome to Night Vale," Says a smooth voice from your radio.
The familiar swatch of a song plays in your ears as you wait for him to continue.

"Listeners, it was only a few days ago that the PTA and the district school board of Night Vale reached a compromise. To review, the PTA's earlier grievance that long term curriculum and school district planning lacked transparency was heard by the school board. And while the Glow Cloud-

ALL HAIL THE MIGHTY GLOW CLOUD

-Who is the president of our school board, could not promise complete transparency, but they could offer to stop dropping dead animals on everyone, only if the PTA never mentions transparency or questioned authority again. Needless to say that PTA president Moreno agreed to these terms.

But! That was a few days ago! You all tune into the radio to know what's happening today!

Well, Listeners, as you may already be aware, there is someone new in town. No this stranger is not the man in the Tan jacket with the deer skin suit case. But the stranger has been seen wandering Mission Grove Park while muttering to himself about stones.

The Secret Police secretary is in my radio booth right now, listeners, and is handing me a slightly damp paper that smells like the tears of small children. He is telling me to ask you all if you have any information regarding the stranger, tell the Secret Police about it by shouting into your Panic Vase whatever information you may or may not have. The Panic Vase should shatter, letting you know that the message was received. Then make sure to go to the Panic Vase store and buy a new one. Everyone knows how important their Panic Vase is. I would not know what to sleep with every night without my Panic Vase.

I just handed back the damp paper to the secretary of the Secret Police and she promptly burst into flames. You know, the way that secretary's burst into flames. Anyway. Let's talk about traffic.

For those who are heading down town, you may want avoid the streets Donn Road and Hell Fire Lane. There is a crater currently in the middle of the intersection between Donn Road and Hell Fire Lane. Intern Daniel reports that the crater is twenty feet wide and no one knows how deep it goes. By stander, Carrie Muffle, described its depth like her soul, a dark and endless place where nothing will ever grow and no one will understand how far it goes.

Daniel is texting me now . . . he says that the crater is on fire and that the Hooded Figures, from the Dog Park that doesn't exist, are flocking to the crater. He is texting again . . . Daniel continues and says that the Hooded Figures are singing. Now listeners, I don't know about you, but I have never heard a Hooded Figure sing. Maybe intern Daniel made a mistake- Oh here is another text . . . Daniel text is in all caps, it reads: 'EVERYTHING IS FINE THERE ARE TOTALLY NOT FIRE TORNADOES TOUCHING DOWN BETWEEN EACH OF THE HOODED FIGURES THAT WILL THREATEN THE EXISTENCE OF ALL OF THOSE WHO LIVE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN TOWN. WE ARE FINE. TOTALLY FINE. YEAH DON'T WORRY WE SO WON'T DIE.'

After reading that text the first thing that comes to mind is, how did Intern Daniel get the word 'NOT' underlined? I have been staring intently at my phone for the past few minutes looking for the underline button. Also, I think there might have been a touch of sarcasm in his text, but who knows with teens these days, am I right?

Anyway Listeners I think that it is safe to say that all cars down town should avoid the intersection of Donn Road and Hell Fire Lane.
More on this story as it continues.

Now for Science Corner. Turn your stove to the 'Blistering Desert,' setting and put your Skull Titanium pot on the stove so that it can boil. While you wait for it to boil, chop up a piece of your always present wolfs bane that hangs in your kitchen, right next to the dirty dishes that you know you need to do from last night's eye membrane soup. Finely chop up the wolfs bane and then open the package that is sitting on your front door step. Inside is the mystery ingredient that looks like a stick of uranium. But don't worry, it isn't Uranium. Probably.