Denying Affinity (Affinity #1)

Virgin

It was wrong to feel this way. To badly want to kiss him again. But I do. Wala akong ginawa buong gabi kundi ang isipin ang halik na iyon. I didn't want to. I tried not to-but whenever I close my eyes, all I could see was Luke Dashiel and his lips that were firmly pressed against mine.

I didn't like the idea of Charlotte kissing Luke. Just thinking of it makes me sick in the stomach. It was the reason why I joined their silly game in the first place. It was not because of Logan. It was because of Luke Dashiel. A part inside my body wanted to shield him away from Charlotte's claws.

Charlotte is wicked. She's liberated and very experienced. Ang tanging dahilan na maibibigay ko lang kung bakit ganoon siya ay dahil lumaki siya sa states. She went back in the Philippines when she was fourteen and never failed to visit Minnesota every summer vacation.

Luke, on the other hand, is innocent. I could tell from the way he kissed me back last night. He was still inexperienced. I unconciously rejoiced for that fact. I didn't like the idea of Luke Dashiel doing anything intimate with anyone else. He's only fourteen years old.

And that's why wanting to kiss him this bad was wrong. He's fourteen. He's three years younger than me. Hindi iyon magandang tingnan. I'm one year close to legal age and that made it even more inappropriate.

Pangalawang rason ay bestfriend siya ng kapatid ko. I think there's an unspoken rule that you should never covet your bestfriend's sibling. I wasn't sure.

Third of all, I've known him since he was a kid. I've seen him in his diaper days. I've seen him buck naked. I was three years old when he turned one. No matter how hard I think about it, being attracted to him was wrong.

Luke Dashiel Fabella is the son of Lucas Matthew Fabella, who is my mother's first love. I was very close with Tito Lucas when I was a kid, I just stopped being sweet to him when I was old enough to realize how jealous my Dad gets whenever I spend time with him.

It was the same reason why I decided to stay away from Luke when we were just a kid. Dahil ayaw kong bigyan ng rason para masaktan si Dad. He's very insecure and sensitive when it comes to Tito Lucas and anything that has to do with him. Naiintindihan ko naman iyon dahil sobrang mahal lang talaga ni Dad si Mommy.

Pagkatapos nang nangyari kagabi ay hindi na ako lumabas ng kwarto. Hinintay ko muna na makaalis si Luke Dashiel. I didn't want to face him. I didn't know what to say to him. Be straightforward and say that it was only part of a dare? Maybe. I wasn't labeled as the blunt witch for nothing.

A part of me didn't want to ruin that kiss for Luke. It was his first. I know how fragile a guy's ego is. It wouldn't make him feel better if I told him that I only kissed him because of a simple dare.

And that's exactly another reason why I'm pondering hard over the kiss. I didn't kiss him because I was dared to. I could have kissed the junior or Logan for God's sake, but I chose to kiss him. I kissed him because I couldn't fathom the thought of other girls kissing him. I hated the image of him kissing other girls the way he kissed me back. Especially Charlotte.

I was pulled away from my absurd thoughts when Les called for my attention. I averted my eyes from the car window and looked at her instead. She was frowning when I saw her face.

"Inaway mo ba si Luke kahapon?"

"What made you think that?" I asked with a creased forehead.

Les pursed her lips at me. "Tumahimik kasi siya bigla. Inaway mo siya 'no? Ano sinabi mo?" umirap ako sa kapatid ko.

"Argumentum ad ignorantiam."

"Wag mo nga ako gamitan ng Harry Potter spell!" angal ni Les. My lips twitched in amusement. It was equivalent to laughing. I next chose to ignore her the rest of the way to school.