✓ laundry boy | yang jungwon

47: page one

once i calmed myself down, i weakly walked up the stairs that jungwon brought me to back then. i walked up them exhaustedly before reaching the top.

i realized that the last time i climbed up, was with his help.

i don't know if i can do it. i thought

but i really want to go up there tonight.

i struggled, but tried my best. i imagined as if he was still here, helping me up.

soon enough, i did it. although, it didn't feel like anything to congratulate myself for.

i know jungwon would be proud of me.

i walked towards the edge, remembering his calm face as i watched him fall.

i was so scared that time that i didn't even recognize how peaceful he looked while he held my hand tightly.

how come i was able to save him back then? but now i suddenly can't?

i'm sorry.

i sat down on the cold ledge, feeling my pockets to pull out the journal.

when i opened it, i was surprised when i saw the page filled completely.

that's when i noticed that i opened it from the last page, backwards.

all of the writing was in jungwon's.

the top read,

———————————————————————

jungwon to hisano
-one-

my first day here.

i wish i got to tell you.

sorry.

i keep putting periods even though it's not a sentence.

haha, sorry.

i don't really like it here, i never really liked the hospital. so i decided to write on here and communicate with you as if we are talking through the journal.

my heart hurts a lot, i feel a lot of pain in my chest area. it actually hurts more than i thought.

i didn't really feel it when i was with you.

you're like some type of medicine. i wish you realized that the day i told you.

there's so many things i wish we could be doing right now. i don't know what, but i just wish we were together.

can i tell you how i'm feeling? i don't want to bore you.

ah, whatever. i'll just say everything until i'm sleepy.

when you walked in the laundromat, i didn't want to stare at you, but i did anyway.

you kind of distracted me, so i couldn't find my coins. i totally forgot that i put them on top of the washing machine.

but if i didn't forget, then maybe all of this wouldn't have happened.

and i'd hate that.

you gave me coins when i asked,

without a second thought.

you're really kind, hisano.