Theodore

a c e r o l a

"Do you realise that I don't have like, a girlfriend?"

"I mean, you never disclosed that you're into girls so... it's understandable that you don't have one."

The tone in which he said that makes me lift my gaze up to him before I bring my hand right on top of the pages of the hard cover he is holding with force, intentionally for it to fall down and gain his attention. Of which, it does.

With a sigh.

"I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about friends who are girls."

He bends down and picks up his book before settling back on his seat. The comfort of the leather couches in this restaurant I so happen to work at. I am supposed to be working but Mindy said I didn't have to. I could sit back and relax. Usually I'd fight her for my time to work cause a girl needs her bag but, since I thought I'd keep Theodore company since he suddenly suggested he wanted to be in a library (this specific one, but to get books more than anything), I figured I wouldn't fight her but take her up to that offer.

I relax, on the exact same leather couch as Theodore except between us are different books he had selected a couple of minutes ago.

"Really?" He flips to the page he last was. "What happened to your two friends?"

"I kind of had, like, a disagreement with them earlier today. So I don't know. I'm not second guessing my friendship with them exactly but, I realised I don't have like best friends best friends who I could be completely vulnerable to and open up and stuff. They care about different things."

"That's strange, you used to be like that, no?"

"No."

He turns his head to look at me. I know that look he's giving me. "Really?"

"No... yes. Okay I was like that, but now it doesn't settle well with me anymore. I don't know, I think I've spent a lot of time with you and Francois that, like, things are kind of different now."

He turns the page. "My best advice would be to be open with them and tell them how you feel. If they are your real friends, they would listen to you and consider your feelings and I guess, change the things that make you feel uncomfortable."

"I wish it was that easy." I fold my legs, mainly because this skirt is literally refusing to stay neat but begging to reveal the things that I want hidden. I put my hands on my leg with a sigh.

"It can't be that hard, can it?"

"It can be. You don't know the kind of people they are. They make fun of you, you know? Or at least they once did."

Theodore chuckles, placing the book down with his left hand between the book pages, and he looks at me. "I believe a lot of people have. I'm not surprised nor do I care about that, you know."

"Must be nice to have that in you. Not caring what people think about you." I can't even help myself glaring at him and the content look he has as he lifts the book back to his face and scans the words through the spectacles placed almost too perfectly on his nose. "Don't rub it in my face though."

"I'm not. I just think you shouldn't care what people think about you and how they feel towards you. Unless it pays your bills or you're physically being hurt by it, it shouldn't bother you."

My head turns towards the customers not too far from us. There's no one else in this mini library section besides us as the customers buy their food and leave. None of them seem depressed or sad. Most are smiling and what not, some sit content and alone.

Why can't I be like that too? Did they have to work to get there?

"Not all of us can be there. It might just take a lifetime."