blindness

¹ an addict

(unedited)

You never decide your fate or your life. You don't really have any choice when you're young. You only listen to what others say. If they don't like something neither will you. You only say that so others will like you. You don't have your mind wide open at that age. You were living in blindness.

-

"Y/N... God where the hell have you been?" a voice shouted from behind.

A tall and  (h/c) haired girl turns around. She looked beautiful. She looked like thousands of artists were working on her to look like a goddess. Her hands were long and her fingers filled with rings. She had a gorgeous (e/c) eyes.

"Jean. Haven't seen you in ages man," they shouted back.

Jean starts coming closer and closer to you. You pull him into a long hug as he approched you closly. "Man I really missed you," you tell him as you smile while still hugging each other.

He pulls out of hug and looks you in the eyes. "You gotta come inside here," he takes your hand and leads you to a big building. It was a college where both of you were in.

"Why didn't you come last week? I asked Pieck if you came at any time and she said you weren't in room neither your stuff."

"Well," you start while smiling,"I told my mom that my college is strating three weeks later. She believed at first, but then she talked to your mom sooo, shit went down." Jean laughes at your little story.

"It's not funny. She took my cigarettes man. She didn't give them back."

As a 13-year old girl, you found cigarettes in your dad's room after he left you and your family. By this time as you grew up same did your addiction for cigarettes.

"Well she did a right thing." Jean was still laughing, but he started to get something out of his jacket. It was a pack of cigarettes for you. "The fuck." you smile as you take them from your friend.

You take one in your mouth and Jean gives you a lighter. Before coming inside the college's building you two start talking. "So, did Reiner come?" You asked your friend.

"He did, that's why it was weird that you didn't come, but I guess your little plan was working until today." he smiles as you smoke your cigarette.

Reiner was your younger brother. He was 19 and you were 21 just like Jean. You also had two other younger brothers Colt and Falco. Colt was 16 and Falco just started his teenage journey.

When you smoked your cigarette till the end you took Jean's hand and went inside the building.

The building was filled with students. They were all getting ready for Monday which was coming tomorrow. Mostly the first years of college were panicking as they just started and didn't even know how anything works.

You and Jean didn't really care about it. When time came to study they would, but only a day before any test.

Both of you went into your rooms and you shared it with Pieck, Jean's younger sister. You met Jean when your dad met his dad. Your dad would always visit Jean's family so that was when you met him. Same with Pieck.

"Hello my dear and beloved friend," you say as you see Pieck on her bed.

"Where were you Y/N?" she asked as she got up from her bed to help you with your bags. "Long, long story... Not enough time to explain." you tell her while leaving one smaller bag on your bed before throwing all others on the floor.

"Well, your classes are shits as I saw from Jean, so get ready for your favourite teacher Levi Ackerman. You're having him evey day from Monday to Friday." she smirks to you.

When the night came down you were still awake. The whole building was sleeping and only you were just looking up at the ceiling. As you heard that Pieck was already in a big sleep, you got up from your bed and took a same little bag from before. It was under your bed.

You open it up and there was so much packs of cigarettes and some white powder in small bags. Those were the drugs.

"Ah, now I gotta take them so Pieck wouldn't hear me," you were talking to yourself. You take one of the small bags where were some white pills. You take one out and drink it with water that was in the glass on your nightstand.

"Ah, it's better. I can finally go to sleep normally," you say as you collapse on your bed.

~

A sun was peaking on your face through the window. Pieck was already up and was getting ready to soon leave. "Y/N, Y/N wake up. You're gonna be late and do you even want to know what is professor Ackerman going to say."

She started to take your blanket from your bed so you could finally get up and go to your period.

"No need..." you say whispering as you just weren't ready for getting up yet and seeing your least favorite professor as a first thing in the morning.

"I'm gonna take all of your cigarettes," at those words you got up 'cause you didn't want anyone else to find about your bag under your bed.

You quickly get ready and take two packs of your cigarettes just if it's very needed. You got out of your room and bumped in a tall figure.

"Watch where you're going!" a figure shouted to you. "Yeah no need for that man just walk faster," you say back before looking up who it was. "Y/N?" they asked. "Connie? How the hell is your room now this way?" you asked a bold guy staying in front of you.

"Yeah, Jean asked me to be with him in the room  because Eren changed his mind of sharing the room. He's with Armin now in room so..."

You both started walking down to the classrooms so you couldn't be late for your first period.  All the way to there you would just talk about some rendom things coming up to your mind.

"L/N!" you hear a loud voice from the front as soon as you came into the classroom. It was that dear professor you hated.

"See me after class okay?" that wasn't a question it was an order. Probably 'cause you weren't on college whole last week when it started.

You nodded as you sat down next to Jean and his friend Sasha. You didn't like to meet new people and Jean had tons of friends. You only hanged out with them when Jean would ask you to.

It was because of his ex girlfriend. She broke his heart so bad that not even now, a year after that, he healed. He was so in love. He would walk all the way from one universe to another only for her. She broke his heart like it was nothing, even though he gave her everything, and she gave nothing in return.

"Oh is that Y/N L/N?" a boy with tied hair in a bun said. "I thought you were dead," he laughes at his own joke. "Hahaha, how funny Eren. A bag of pills is not enough to have me dead."

You knew what he was talking about. Some years later you were a total addict and you couldn't go without a pill for even an hour.

It was hard for Jean to keep you in check for so long, until he found where you kept the pills and burned them all to the very end. Your mother knew about your addiction, but not about that bad part happening in your life.

And from your brothers only Reiner knew 'cause he was the eldest of all your three brothers. He helped Jean to keep you away from pills. He was also having a job to keep that secret away from Colt and Falco. If they saw their eldest sister in that shape it would be heartbreaking for both them and you.

Mostly your youngest brother Falco. You would always tell him how bad it is to take drugs or alcohol or any kind of that, but look at you now. Doing a thing you told your brother not to.

You felt shame for that because Falco was such an innocent child who looked up to his older sister.