Guardian Angel

The Doubt

"Poom, I love you," Beam said suddenly. Forth was washing the dishes after dinner. His movement of rinsing the soap stopped when he heard Beam's words.

He turned his neck when he felt Beam hug him from behind and rest his cheek against the back of his neck. Beam's body felt warm against his back and Beam's hands wrapped tightly around his waist to his stomach.

"I love you too, Baby," Forth whispered affectionately. "What's wrong? You look quiet tonight. Do you want to tell me something?"

Beam sighed. He kissed Forth's nape and inhaled Forth's signature scent which he liked so much, then rested his head on Forth's shoulder from behind. "Poom, why do you like me?"

"Hmm?" Forth washed his hands and dried his hands, before he turned around. Forth hugged Beam, then lifted and placed Beam sitting on the counter.

Forth stood between Beam's legs. He cupped Beam's cheek and looked deeply into Beam's eyes that looked restless.

"Because you are Beam. You are who you are. You shine like your name and your light never changes. You neither dim nor dominate the other rays around you. You are your own light and I found all the things I was looking for in life, within your light. I have the answers to all the questions that have intrigued me as long as I have lived, in your name. You are the light that takes me to a brighter, more comfortable, more beautiful and better place, without having to change who I really am."

Beam's face reddened. "That's . . . cheesy," Beam muttered sheepishly.

Forth smiled. "It's not even enough to just outline it. It's going to take us a lifetime to tell me what makes me like you, Baby." Forth kissed the tip of Beam's nose.

"Aren't you sorry, wasting time with me? I can't cook, I'm not very good at cleaning the house. I don't like being disturbed while reading or studying, I don't like being banned when I want to shop or like something. I'm stubborn, selfish, not tender, and not spoiled."

"Hm, let me see," said Forth with a frown. He lifted Beam's chin with the tip of his index finger and acted as if he was observing. "I see a brilliant doctor in the future--which doesn't look like it's going to be too long. I don't see a housemaid here, who has to work to cook, clean the house and make his precious hands to help the sick, get too tired and rude. I don't see a man of low taste who has to wear ordinary things that would definitely not look good on him, because I--his boyfriend is an aspiring engineer who will work hard to fulfill his every need and desire. I don't see the perfect person in his, because with all his imperfections, he's perfect for me."

Beam looked deep into Forth's eyes and suddenly tears started to flow. He raised his hand and cupped Forth's face. "What good have I done in my previous life to deserve someone like you, Poom?"

Forth pulled and hugged Beam tightly. "Baby, what are you thinking? I love you so much, more than I can express in words or show through behavior. My ability to express love in words to you is very limited, but feel it, Baby, and you'll understand."

Beam cried silently on Forth's shoulder. Lately he had been feeling tired from his job as an intern at the hospital and seeing Forth cleaning the house, cooking and washing for the two of them, made him feel guilty.

Forth is also busy finishing his thesis and preparing for the trial, but he is never negligent and always pays attention to Beam.

Forth makes lunch when Beam will work two shifts or have to be on duty all night long. Beam felt useless seeing Forth doing everything in the apartment they shared.

"Ssh, don't cry. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, not just to make you take care of my needs and my happiness. I also want to make you happy and take care of all your needs. We are on the same level, Baby. You and I are the same, so I don't will demand you to do what you can't and don't like just to make me happy. You can stay and have to be yourself because I love you that way."

Beam pulled himself from Forth's arms and wiped the tears with a smile. "I'll try to make myself worthy of your name behind mine, Poom, be patient with me, will you?"

Forth laughed and kissed Beam's lips gently. "You know, to you, there's only one thing I can never do."

"Hm? What?"

"Refrain from eating you."

Beam stroked the side of Forth's neck and winked seductively. "Can we test, how sturdy is this counter, Babe?"

Forth gulped.

*****