Bri

Chapter 29: Loss

I don't remember much after hearing the officer say that he was sorry or that Mia was in an accident. The worry in my mind and heart outweighed everything at that moment. I vaguely recall grabbing my bag and keys before rushing out of the door. Did I lock it? I didn't even put proper 'going-out' clothes on as I still wore my pajamas from earlier. When the officer and I made our way to his patrol car, he informed me we were on our way to the hospital where Mia was taken. I dreaded the drive, the silence, and I knew, deep down, that something was wrong, very fucking wrong.

The drive to Willow Gardens Hospital took over an hour, and I wasn't okay or in the best state of mind. Upon arrival, Officer Jefferson sat me down in a private office and told me he'd get the doctor. I grew very impatient for every millisecond that I waited in this godforsaken room. As soon as an older gentleman in a white coat walked in, I stood up from my seat, walked to him, and said, "Where is she...? Where's Mia? I need to see her!"

"Ma'am, I think you should sit-" He began to say to me, but I cut him off.

"I'm fine standing. Just take me to her."

"There's no easy way to say this, but... Ms. Jones, I am truly sorry for-"

"D-don't... no... s-she can't..." I stuttered, cutting him off again.

Time stood still. My mind raced. It was profoundly hard to breathe. My heart pounded in my chest, and in just a few seconds, my legs started to give out. Immediately, the doctor to whom I was speaking came to my aid and caught me before I reached the floor. He sat me down in a chair and gave me time to compose myself. I don't know how long I cried or how long this doctor was willing to wait for me, but he did. I was grateful for that.

"What h-happened t-to her...?" I softly asked once I was able to speak again.

"The ambulance brought her in over an hour ago, and the paramedics quickly informed me that she had already been crashing on the way here. The only thing I know for certain is that your fiancé suffered fatal injuries during a car crash. I promise I did everything in my power to resuscitate her..." He stopped speaking as soon as many burning tears slid down my cheek, and once again, he patiently waited for my sobs to subside.

"Um... is there a-anything else I should know...?" I questioned, and at that moment, I was staring off in the distance.

"Unfortunately, I was unable to determine or pinpoint the actual cause of the death. So I ordered an autopsy to figure out what happened. As soon as the medical examiner is finished, we will need you to confirm the body, and you should have all the answers you need from him. When the examiner is ready for you, Officer Jefferson will escort you, and I hope this helps give you as much closure as possible." He said, and all I could do was nod; somehow, I continued listening to his words even though it caused me so much pain to do so.

"Again... my condolences," The doctor finished saying as he got up and proceeded out of the room, leaving me alone.

"Yeah... thanks..." I replied. I have no idea if he heard me or not, and quite frankly, I could care less right now.

Once again, I was left alone in this damned room. I had no idea how long I would stay here, but I wasn't ready to move... I knew I wasn't stable enough to even walk, so I just sat there and stared off into space, zoning out. The silence was absolutely fucking deafening. During the time I was there, I replayed the conversation with the emergency doctor over and over again in my mind...

I had hoped against hope that these damned doctors were wrong... that Mia was somehow still alive... There's no way Mia is... gone... I... she... Whenever the thought of Mia crossed my mind, which was every second, I felt like I was actually dying. I was stuck in an endless cycle in which my heart, mind, and soul crumbled into nothingness; there was no hope for me anymore. I will never be okay without her... It felt as though days had passed since my conversation with the doctor, but in reality, it was only an hour. What pissed me off was that I prayed that Mia was okay somehow in the back of my mind. It was as if my fucking mind enjoyed playing tricks on me by giving me the slightest thought of hope. It was fucking cruel. Everything is becoming a blur...