eight!

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i made june's playlist ^^^
or, you can go to my spotify (strawberrishots) and find the playlist titled June :)

June smiled wryly as his phone started ringing with a British number- that wasn't George, Wilbur or Phil- and Clay looked over at it.

"Oh, you gave Tommy your number?" He asked.

June nodded, and picked up the phone, holding it to his ear. He went to the bathroom for a bit more privacy, closing his eyes for a moment as he went in to ignore the sign on the door.

"Hello," June greeted softly.

"Hi," Tommy mumbled back. "I was scared you were gonna give me a wrong number on purpose."

"Why would I do that?" June asked, kind of genuinely offended that he would even consider that. "Seriously, is that what you think of me?"

"What? No, of course I don't!" Tommy protested. "I-it's a reasonable fear, I think. I mean, I've never really asked a girl for her number before.."

June felt his eyes prick with tears. It was always hard when people misgendered him to his face, since he was himself in his mind, and it crushed his reality when he was reminded that that wasn't real. "I, uh, haven't either.." June sniffed, trying not to cry. "Um, I have to go. I'll text you later, I guess."

"A-are you alright? You sound like you're about to cry.."

June wiped at his eyes, turning away from the mirror he was standing by. "Bye Tom," he said, sharper than he meant as he hung up.

He stuffed his phone into his pocket again, ignoring the buzzing, and left the restroom.

He sat back down at the table across from Clay, avoiding eye contact.

Clay frowned. "Hey, is everything okay?"

June's lip trembled. "N-no, but I'd rather talk to you in the car than in here."

Clay's expression softened. "Of course. I'll go over to the counter to pay, and you can go back to the car if you don't want to wait." He pressed the keys into June's hand.

June nodded. He stood from the table again and went outside, taking huge deep breaths trying to calm himself. It wasn't working at all, and everything was too loud and too quiet and he was too hot and too cold and he could feel everything touching him, and it was all too much.

It only made him feel worse when he tried to assure himself that Tommy didn't know because, well, Tommy didn't know. And it was killing him. But he didn't want to tell him yet, because what if he's secretly transphobic? What if he doesn't want to try changing pronouns for him? June sighed.

June got into the passenger's seat, and started the car. Less than a minute later, Clay came out and got into the driver's seat.

"Alright, do you want to talk while we drive, or talk when we get somewhere?"

"Wh-while we drive," June replied, sniffling.

Clay shifted gears, and they were on their way.

June played some lofi quietly in the background so it wasn't an unbearable silence, and tried to get his feelings under control.

"You ready to talk, Soph?" Clay asked innocently.

And that was enough for June to burst into tears.

Of course he didn't want to cry in front of his big brother, but he was overwhelmed, and was having such a hard time keeping such a big part of himself away from the person that knew him best.

Clay pulled over to the side of the road, wildly concerned.

"Woah, hey, what's wrong, Sophie?" Clay asked, reaching towards June.

"S-s-stop calling me that, p-please," June managed between sobs. He let himself be pulled into a hug over the center console, crying into Clay's chest.

Clay didn't say anything, worried he might set him off again. He didn't know what was wrong, only that his sibling was reacting really badly to their birth name. He'd had some suspicions, of course, and had actually been doing some research, and he felt bad that they'd felt like they couldn't tell him.

"It's alright, you're okay," Clay assured him. "I've been thinking about it, and.. you're trans aren't you?" June tensed, confirming it. "Can you tell me your pronouns?"

June felt his heart stop. But like, in a good way. "H-he/him, pl-please," June whispered. Clay could barely understand it, but he understood it.

"I love you," Clay told June. "Don't forget that. You can tell me anything."

June only cried harder.

~

June had fallen asleep on the ride back to their parent's house, so Clay carried him in. Clay couldn't even imagine how hard that must have been for the younger boy to keep that from everyone. And to be on multiple streams with the chat not knowing any better? It was hell for Clay to think about, he had no idea how June had been able to handle it so well, especially in front of him and Sapnap. All the grimaces and side glances when his deadname was said all made sense now.

June and Clay's younger sister watched as Clay climbed the stairs with June in his arms, asleep. It was the most careful she'd seen him with anyone other than Patches, really.

It made her wonder if he'd ever been that careful with her before..

Clay brought his little brother up to his room, setting him down on the bed and pulling the covers over his sleeping body.

June's phone was buzzing in his pocket again, so Clay took it from the fabric confines to turn it on. It started to ring with a phone call in his palm from Tommy's still unsaved number, so he answered.

"Hey Tommy," Clay spoke quietly so he didn't disturb his brother. He stepped away from the bed to quiet his voice further.

"Dream?" Tommy asked. "Why do you have June's phone?"

Clay glanced over at him. "Ah, June fell asleep in the car ride home, and you called, so I thought I should answer to let you know."

"Oh, thanks, I guess.." Tommy mumbled. "Um, I think she might be mad at me. Or sad, or something, she hung up on me crying earlier. Is she alright?"

"June's fine. She'll talk to you in the morning," Clay assured him, hanging up.

Now, Tommy wasn't an idiot. Clearly, June was not fine.

He sighed, sinking further into his blankets. He was tired. He would ask in the morning.

But for now, he put on some music for a bit of background music to help keep him away from his thoughts as he drifted back into unconsciousness. Somehow, it was comforting that even though he and June were on entirely different continents and in different time zones, they would be sleeping under the same sky, stars, and moon.

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