DIET MOUNTAIN DEW. dave grohl (1)

056

April 5th, 1994
SEATTLE WASHINGTON

-

"What's wrong, Dave?" I asked sitting next to him on the couch. Charlie was staying with my mom for a couple weeks up in Springfield. Dave had been just so sad lately and I didn't know why... and he didn't either it seemed.

"I don't know. I don't know what's wrong... I just feel... so depressed." He admitted holding his head with frustration. I sighed deeply and put my arm around him softly.

"I'm sorry... I'm sure it'll be okay." I whispered softly pulling him into me. He just fell over basically and laid his head in my lap holding onto me, "it's all gonna be fine, Dave."

"No! No it's not. You don't understand a single thing about what's going on... and no one does. I don't know why- I don't know what's going on I don't know what to do." Dave sat up and began shouting and rambling on. It made me feel sick to my stomach.

"Dave... I don't know—"

"That'a right, Danielle. You don't know anything! You don't know a single thing... I can't even- I don't wanna be around anyone!"
He shouted even louder. I felt my nose get fuzzy... I wanted to cry.

"Then leave!" I yelled back feeling pain in my heart. Dave wasted no time before walking towards the door and slamming it shut... what was going on? And why was this all happening like this? What did I even do?

-

A/N: guys im SO sorry for this.

-

It was later in the day. I had been reading a book. Feeling the sting of Daves words still ring through my ears. I didn't know what to think or do about it. I just needed to be alone. And I felt a little better I guess.

Then the phone rang. And I, in a mood, answered it.

"Hello?" I asked into it with my shaking voice.

"Dani, you need to turn the news on. Y-you... I'm sorry but you have to." It was Annie. Her words froze my insides.... I knew that voice of hers. There was a something wrong, terribly wrong. So, I hung the phone up as my hands shook. I couldn't even barely breath, as I switched the TV on and changed it to channel 400... the news channel.

"Kurt Cobain the front man for the rock band Nirvana... is dead. His body was found this morning in his home in Seattle, Washington. Here's Jane with more on the incident..."

The only thing I could hear in that moment... was the sound of the remote clattering against the wood floor. I felt this unbearable ringing in my ears as the rest of the TV played... I couldn't hear a thing. I felt my heart just stop beating... and I struggled to breathe as I though of a reaction... I didn't know what to do. And I didn't know how I should process something as shocking and painful as this.

"Oh my—" I struggled to get out as I fell to my knees on the floor. I hit my shins so hard but I couldn't feel them. I couldn't feel anything... my nails dug into the sides of my head as I struggled for answers. This had to be a joke.. some sick joke. Or a dream... a nightmare. How could this earth take away such a beautiful light. Without warning... how could it be so unfair. And why did it have to happen to me... why did I have to suffer the pain... in my heart. The way it stabbed me and cut through me like a knife.

The words repeated in my mind as I tried to stop the overwhelming noises of my cries. My screams... the way my stomach caved in on itself and gave up. I felt lost and confused. Why me? Why Kurt? Why, why, why? I wished I could understand. How would Frances ever know how wonderful her father was? How would the world go on without Kurt Cobain? I wasn't sure how to breathe. I felt like my whole body had been forcefully thrown out of proportion.

As the memories of Kurt flashed before my eyes. The Marigolds... the arguments... the hugs... the looks we gave each other... and the love I had for him. A different kind of love. And everything was gone... it faded away in a snap. It was taken away from me... and I couldn't get it back.

How could life be so unfair?

Why did Kurt have to go? Of all people one of the most beautiful people. The sweetest boy, the most respectful boy, the most intelligent, clever, witty, person this world had to offer.

And he was dead.

Why?

-

April 10th, 1994
SEATTLE WASHINGTON

-

"I'm so sorry, Wendy." I said pulling Kurts mother into a hug. Never in a million years would I think I'd be at my best friends funeral. She was sobbing uncontrollably and so was I. Everyone was... and this day was just the worst. Raining and down... black. Dave was leaning against a tree with a black suit on and a frown. Tears dripping from his eyes.

We had made a decision that we should probably see other people. We weren't working out and everyone knew it. We weren't happy, and Kurt leaving us just made it more complicated. But we tried to keep it safe for Charlie.

"Hi." I said through a cracked voice.

"Hi." He said back.

"I'm so sorry, Dave. I'm sorry all of this—"

"Don't be. It's not your fault... it wasn't anyone's. I just— I'm sorry. I was never good for you, and I realize that now. I've done so much shit to you... and you forgave me." Dave looked beyond confused. I didn't know what to say, "I guess you never realize what you had until you loose it." Dave sighed heavily looking off into the distance.

"I'm sorry." I whispered again.

"I love you... and Charlie. And I'm sorry I couldn't make it work for him, Dani." Dave still
kept at it. I knew it wouldn't be easy for Charlie to have his parents spilt up, but it's the way things had to be.

"I know you are. And it's my fault too... but we have to be strong, Dave. For Charlie.." I said.

"Yeah, yeah I know." Dave said with more tears falling down his cheeks. I guess we'd have to sell the house... and I'd have to get my own.

"What are you gonna do?" Dave asked me.

"Well, stay with Annie until I can get another job." I said leaning against the same tree. He just nodded taking a drag from a cigarette.

"Im probably gonna have to stay with someone too. But it'll be okay, right?" Dave asked me.

"Yes, Dave." I answered as I cried with him. Dave just put his arms around me and held me for a good minute. We just needed someone right now... even if it was each other. And we both were broken and confused. But I knew everything would work out.

I sniffled in sharply rubbing my nose which was already red. And we began walking to our cars. I looked into Daves eyes one more time.. and tried to block all the feelings.

"I'll see you around, Dave." I said to him before slipping into my car. And that was the end of Dani and Dave. And it was for good this time... I didn't think it was possible. But it was.

I guess we just fell apart.