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March 6th, 1990
OLYMPIA WASHINGTON

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TW: drugs

"Okay, Court. You stay here with Dani. I'm gonna see if Dave brought that girl." Kurt mumbled before heading towards the small exit door of the backstage area. It was weird seeing the arena bare. Nobody had shown up yet, and I'd never seen it before. When he came back his eyes were narrowed slightly.

"I don't want to freak you out. But, he brought her." Kurt said. I shook my head with a smile, "oh, I don't care. He's a fuckin jerk. Who gives a shit about him." I waved it off. Nobody said anything else because they knew I was really dying inside. I couldn't see him with somebody else. But, the show would start soon. He had to come backstage sometime. Courtney sat next to me and pulled out a cigarette for me.

"Thanks." I laughed as she flipped the lighter opened and lit it for me. Maybe I was really wrong about Courtney.....

"Shelli's not coming?" Kurt asked Krist as he leant against the wall talking to him, "nah. She's stuck at home." He said with a smile. Damn, I really liked Shelli. All of the sudden, my face went white. I heard him and her. The door swung open and Dave walked in hand in hand with this girl. She was shorter than me, and definitely prettier than me. I tried to breathe normally but my breath hitched in the slightest. My knuckles went white.

My eyes met Dave's and he just looked away without any more contact. I couldn't believe him. He was really that low. I was sweating like crazy and Courtney had her arm around me comfortingly. Dave then took a seat with, I'm guessing, this bitch named Dana and began twitching slightly. I mean, tugging at his lip, and tucking her hand behind her ears. Little things.

"Don't worry." She whispered to me softly, "I'm not." I lied back. Kurt was staring at Dave with this look of disapproval and biting his lip. Dave didn't even talk to anyone. He just talked to Dana. And I was getting a little too angry.

"Come on, guys." Kurt said tilting his head towards the stage curtain. It was almost time for them to go on. And I'd be left with Dana. Fuck. They all followed him through the curtain and onto stage. I could hear the crowd clapping faintly and I began to shake. I wanted to cry.

"I think I'm gonna go out there." I said to Courtney standing up. She smiled with an approving nod.

"Yes. That's a great idea, Dani. I'll come too. We can dance." Courtney suggested. I sighed softly with a smile and headed for the exit. Leaving Dana all by herself. Fuck Dana. Fuck her prissy ass.

Once we got to the crowd, a wave of sudden rebellion washed over me. I was finally able to do whatever the fuck I wanted. I didn't care about anything at this point. Courtney even gave me a glass of wine. I'd never even drank before.

"You're so fucking cool, Danielle! Who care about Dave?!" Courtney screamed over the loud music being played on the stage. I was a bit tipsy at this point.

"Not me!" I screamed back before laughing my ass off. I couldn't stop, alcohol has such power over you. I was drunk as shit, and not even legally old enough to be drinking. Courtney left me alone for awhile and man, oh man, did I just go to town on the wine.

"Dani. I scored some, come on." Courtney was referring to the fact that she had gotten her hands on cocaine. Lots and lots of coacain. Of course, if I was sober there's no way I'd touch a sprinkle of that. But, I wasn't in my right mind. So I followed her to a table.

"Okay." Her raspy voice said, "I'm gonna pour it out in strips." She finished before taking the bag full of white powder and neatly making 5 strips across the table. That's when it happened. I just did it. I didn't hesitate or anything. I did it. I'm so angry at myself for doing it, but I did. I did it all night.

"Courtney what the fuck?" I couldn't faintly here Dave's voice walk over to us. She sniffled and rubbed her nose before shrugging.

"What?" She asked with a laugh.

"How could you let her do this?" He said with anger. I couldn't barely make out his face but I knew it was him. I could smell that cologne he always wore.

"She's a grown woman. She can do what she wants." Courtney snapped taking a drink of red wine.

"No! Courtney, look what you did. She could overdose for fucks sake." Dave said placing an arm around my shoulder and lifting my feet up. I was so out of it I couldn't even protest.

"Oh, calm down. She's fucking fine." Courtney argued. Dave shook his head before carrying me out of the building. I couldn't barely move, I'm sure I felt lifeless in Dave's arms. Before I knew it and slowly sat me in the seat of his car.

"Dave?" I asked with tears running down my face. He looked over to me concerned.

"How could you even let her do that? You can't be going around and doing cocaine, Dani. You can't? Why did you do that?" Dave was so frantic. I scoffed at his stupid words.

"Why did you cheat on me?" I snapped back looking out the window. Everything seemed to be spinning.

"Look, that's besides the point. You cannot do this to yourself." Dave strictly said. He was mad at me, and whens he mad at me, something just shuts down in me. I knew he was angry, and it turned my stomach.

"I'm not mad at you." He read my mind, "I just care about you."

"Not enough to even break up with me like a normal person. Or- or not fucking cheat on me." I snapped back feeling for the door handle. I opened the car and walked out of it. I was done with Dave.

"Get in the car. Let me take you home." Dave calmly said. I shook my head and kept walking away. My feet were slowly giving up on me, and my brain was just stopping. I couldn't barley see, or feel anything for that matter. I needed someone, but no one seemed to be near. Except, Dave.

"D-Dave." I struggled to say as my converse abruptly stopped on the concrete. I felt my head giving up and I felt dizzy. The tears automatically started running down my face again. I was gonna pass out. I knew it in my heart.

"Dave." I said stricter this time. Right as I was about to fall, the last thing I could remember was feeling Dave's arms grab me and stop me from hitting the ground. Then, it went black.

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