Nothing Was The Same

Chapter: 7

Chapter: 7

           

Tavi.

 

            My heart was in the pit of my stomach as I watched Shayne hold the diamond ring in his hand. His chest was rising and falling repeatedly letting me know that he wanted an answer and the right one.

            I was in so much shock that I had to blink a few times just to make sure I was really here. It seemed so surreal and the scenery was romantic but the entire situation was the least bit romantic.

            My hands trembled as I slightly touched the ring in his hand. I closed my eyes and my heart began to race. I couldn’t even look at his face, just the sound of him asking me to marry him kept replaying in my head making me go crazy.

            I opened my eyes and finally looked up at him, “no.”

            It might have taken Shayne a couple of seconds to comprehend what I was saying because at first he looked as if he was still waiting. He soon lowered his hand and played with the ring in between his fingers.

            There are so many reasons why I can’t marry him. Our relationship is toxic, and I consider it to never be a relationship. He’s only doing this because he knows that this is what I eventually wanted and he thinks it’ll make me vulnerable. It’s just his way of toying with my heart some more.

            “I’m really stupid to you, huh?” I questioned.

            He looked up at me and sighed, “what are you talkin’ about?”

            “You really thought I’d fall to my knees because you pulled out a ring? That ring and those words you said don’t change anything. I’m tired of being the in love one when the feeling isn’t mutual. I’m tired of putting my all into a relationship and not getting it back in return. Shayne, I’m fuckin’ tired.”

            “Tavi, I’m standing here right now, pouring my feelings out to you, something I’ve never done before, and you’re still accusing me of not loving you back?” He licked his lips and turned his head looking the other, then back at me. “I’m ready to beat that nigga’s ass up there because he was bold enough to come wit’ you. I’m ready to beat your ass for thinkin’ it was a good idea, I’m ready to beat his sisters ass for even being his sister. Tavi I’m fucking going crazy! What do you want from me?”

            “I don’t want anything.” I mumbled looking down at the ground, unable to look at his face.

            It’s so hard to talk like this but this is what it came down to. He did his wrongs and I did mine, which clearly shows that we’re not for each other. We both have too many issues and a marriage isn’t gonna solve them. It’s better if we don’t do this anymore and stick to being parents.

            I finally looked up at his face seeing so much hurt and pain, it was so weird seeing it come from him and it almost made me wanna give in, but that’ll just be me showing my vulnerability. A moment like this is what I need to build that hard shell again.