Hold On To My Heart // narry au

chapter 5

; harry

"Niall- please!"

"No, don't touch me!" He pulled his hand away from mine and I didn't try to touch him again, afraid that if I would he would step away and hurt himself.

"Can you calm down? You're making this a bigger deal than it is!" I insisted, rubbing my temples in distress.

"This is a big deal, Har! You-you're leaving me! You're leaving us"

Niall wrapped his arms around his stomach and whispered the last part but I heard it loud and clear.

"I won't leave you.." I sighed as i took a step forward and Niall took a step back.

"You are. You're a smart man, Harry. You're gonna go take the opportunity to go to Ireland and study there until you become a doctor and when you get back, you're gonna realise you don't need me- us anymore. You won't need me or Rian or our twins. You're a hot shot doctor then and you can get a new life- a new hus-"

Niall's voice cracked, the tears taking over as he turned his back to me. Shoulders shaking and sobs coming out of his mouth, it broke my heart.

It broke my heart even more that he thought I was going to not need them anymore, not love them anymore.

"Niall, you know I won't do that.."

He knew, of course he did. Didn't he?

"OF COURSE I KNOW BUT ITS THE WORSE CASE SCENARIO OKAY?"

I shook my head as I neared him, wrapping my arms around him from behind and nuzzling my face in his neck.

Niall sniffled but didn't push me away.

"I hate you" he muttered.

"I love you too" I sighed, placing a kiss on his neck softly.

"But seriously Har, we need to talk about this.." Niall sighed.

"We will" I tightened my hold on him.

"Mama? Leave?" Both of us pulled away to see Rian on the bed and looking up at the us.

"No baby, I'm not going anywhere" I assured him, sitting on the bed and pulling Rian to my chest. I kissed his small head.

"I love you too much to leave you" I sighed, kissing it again and again.

"Mama" Rian whimpered and I felt my heart clench. He sounded so sad, like I was actually going to leave him.

"Well, what are we going to do?" Niall asked, he wasn't looking at us and was looking down and back to the wall.

"Easy, I won't study there. I only applied to see my chances"

His head snapped up at my reply.

"No Harry"

I looked at him, eyebrows furrowed confusingly.

"What? You want me to go but you don't want me to leave you?" I asked, looking at him.

"No- Yes - I don't know! We could move to Ireland?"

"Then what about your studies?"

"When's your semester starting?"

"Next Fall"

"I'll figure something out" Niall sighed, sitting on the edge of the bed. I reached out to touch him but he flinched when he saw my hand and I felt hurt but let my hand down.

"I'm going to Ashton's" He said abruptly, standing up and ready to leave.

"Wait! You're not driving"

He turned towards me with a glare and I backed down with a frown, watching as he took the car keys from the dressing table and kissed Rian's head before leaving the room.

Rian still had his head buried in my chest as the sound of the car engine outside started and tires on the gravel indicated he was ready to leave.

As I sat there, I felt empty and lost. Wondering what should I do now.

Is this what Niall would have felt if I take the offer?

Oh the irony of the situation.

+

As soon as he left, Rian was crying hard and I had to quiet him down by walking around the house with him in my arms until he fell asleep.

I set him down carefully on me and Niall's bed and I went out, sighing. Why did Niall go? He could have stayed, we could have stayed.

Then again, I never told him about me signing up for the school in Ireland.

I took out my phone and dialled Michael's number.

"Harry?"

"Mike! Are you with Ash and Niall?" I asked, going down the stairs.

"Yeah actually, Niall.. Told us everything"

I was pacing back and forth along the hallway to the rooms as Michael gave me some advice, you wouldn't even think a guy like him would be capable of helping people because of how the way he looks.

But that's why people always say don't judge a book by its cover right?

As Michael was helping me plan out something for Niall, my mind drifted out to some old friends that helped me and Niall get together in high school, maybe I should give them a call.

"You are getting these right, Styles? Or do I need to bring Liam in?" Michael's voice cut through my thinking and I hummed in response.

"Yeah, yeah I get it. But change of plans, I'm gonna call in some extra friends of mine" I said and quickly said bye as I hung up.

I dialled a different number, smiling when he answered on the first ring.

"Hey Max? Yeah I need some help with Niall. You guys in for another round of romantic planning?"

a/n : a little hint for the one shot im writing BEFORE they got married ;)

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