My Teacher

part 49

once y/n made it to the door she opened it and tony waved so she waved back then he drove off as she stepped inside seeing kobe on the counter swinging his feet back and forth looking at her as she walked through the door

Kobe: where have you been
Y: with the boys
Kobe: i wanted to spend time with you today
Y: well it didn't seem like it
Kobe: i don't care what it seemed like i did
Y: ok well you should've showed it not my fault
Kobe: don't walk away from me
Y: why not kobe you're really rude when you're mad so this conversation isn't going to go anywhere i did nothing to you and you're acting like such a dick to me so when i leave to go hang out with people who actually act like they want me around it's a problem i don't get you dude
Kobe: who said i didn't want you around
Y: you act like it it's like ever since leona got here-
Kobe: don't try to blame her for any of this
Y: ever since she's got here you've been distant and so rude i'm sorry for whatever i did which was what exactly not being as pretty as her or skinny or smart or maybe you're the one that wants someone around your own age well i'm sorry i don't fit your standards
Kobe: what no one said you weren't as pretty or skinny or smart as her if that was the case i would be with her and not you but i'm with you i never said i wanted anybody else so where are you getting all of this from
Y: i'm getting it from your actions from the way you act like i'm just fucking up your life for you when all i've been trying to do this whole time was keep the same love we had in the beginning
Kobe: it's not going to be like how it was on the beginning we're changing and going through things the honeymoon phase won't last forever
Y: it could and it would if you put in the same effort as before if you spent everyday acting as if you were as scared to lose me as before like i've been doing
Kobe: we shouldn't be scared to lose each other because our love should be strong enough to where we know that can't even happen
Y: yea well i don't know that i'm scared to lose you everyday because i feel like the second i let my guard down another girl will come and take you away from me and you're supposed to be there to reassure me that it won't happen but all you're making me feel is that it definitely can
Kobe: i'm trying y/n but unlike you i can't stay the same i don't know how when i was only talking to you and trying to get you to like me it was different i felt that rush of excitement the intriguing feeling and of what was going to happen next but that feeling fades when i got with you because i knew what was going to happen next when i got with you i knew if i kissed you that you were going to kiss me back i knew if i said i love you then you were going to say it back that's all the things i didn't know when we were talking there's no chase anymore the thrill that i once had is gone it's completely gone and i don't know how to get it back
Y: well that thrill never went away for me because i knew new days would bring new things everything we did was new to me because on my end i wasn't in it just for the thrill i wanted someone who would take me on dates compliment me give me kisses so i can kiss them back tell me they love me so i can say it back i wanted for it to be predictable so i wouldn't have to worry about it changing you wanted it unpredictable so it would change we were doomed from the start
Kobe: why do you want something predictable in the first place
Y: so i wouldn't have to worry about the love fading i was ready for someone to love me and not the thrill
Kobe: i do love you
Y: you don't show it and when you do you sure in hell have a funny way of showing it
Kobe: i've been showing it for a year and a half now i don't know how else you want me to show it
Y: i want you to show it with your actions you can tell me you love me a thousand and one times but it doesn't count unless you show me this morning you didn't even tell me i love you you dropped the i completely like it didn't even matter or like you didn't even want to say it back and if that's the case then just tell me i'm grown i can handle heart break
Kobe: i'm not trying to break your heart and i'm not trying to leave you yes i didn't put the i that's because i wasn't thinking and i was upset
Y: so every time you're upset you're just gonna say fuck you to anything that matters
Kobe: i'm not saying that
Y: but you showed it today it's like when you're mad you're two different people and i don't know what to do in that moment besides put aside all my morals and apologize even when i have no idea what i'm apologizing for
Kobe: i didn't tell you to apologize
Y: you don't have to because i feel like if i don't you'll leave me kobe and that's what i'm scared of i've learned to love you so much that i feel like if you leave me i won't know what the fuck to do with myself

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