london boy | wroetoshaw

twenty nine

She felt his gaze on her, felt it burning through her from the other side of the room. It had been there since she stepped onto the boat and it took everything in her not to look at him, even for just a second. 

He felt sick to his stomach as stood by his friends, gripping his beer bottle tighter and tighter whilst leaning against the wall unable to keep his eyes off of her. He knew she had a boyfriend, he had known it right from the start. But seeing her with him made him want to punch a wall, because he often foolishly let himself forget about his existence. But seeing him there, with her,  it took everything in him to conceal the unexplainable rage that was coursing through his body. He hated that all he could do is stand there as he watched a girl he hasn't even admitted he has feelings for stood with someone else. 

But he could tell something was wrong, after all he liked to think he knew her better than most. She looked so small next to him, and not just because of their height difference. She hadn't left his side once that evening, not yet to even come up to any of her friends if they didn't come up to her first. He saw how drained she looked greeting everyone, her usual bubbly personality nowhere to be found. Even when Talia and Simon went up to them, she could hardly muster up anything more than a fake smile. She looked scared, and he hated that. 

Mia was one of the last people to arrive onto the boat on the night of the Sidemen Anniversary party, and she tried her absolute best to blend in. It was true that the party was for some of her closest friends, to celebrate them and their wonderful accomplishments, but with Matt by her side she felt so out of place. It was hard for her to be quiet and lay low, but the fear of starting any fights with Matt right in the center of Thames was not something she wanted to do. 

And while there are some points in their relationship which Mia hadn't been afraid to fight back, this was not one of them. Matt had actually announced that morning that he didn't want them to go at all, following the events of the day before, and Mia had to coax him into changing his mind. But she knew that if he had stayed adamant on not going, she wouldn't have fought him on it. She wouldn't have known where to even begin. It was no secret that there were times where Mia was scared of him, one of the many factors that often came into play when understanding why she hadn't left him yet.

But Mia didn't want to push him too much- so she didn't nag him to be nice to her friends and she didn't tell him what to do and what not to do at the party. Once he had agreed to come, she knew then and there that she was already pushing her limits with him. 

The previous 36 hours felt like a living nightmare to Mia. When she wasn't sat down listening to Matt yell at her or throw abuse at Harry, her mind was somewhere else. She felt like crying, but she couldn't pinpoint the reason as there were so many. On one side, she had an angry Matt on her hands- angrier than his usual self. And she knew he was justified, though he didn't necessarily know that considering all he saw was Mia and Harry standing near each other. On the other side, she just couldn't stop thinking about Harry. Her fingers craved the feeling of his skin and all she could think about was his blue eyes staring into hers. She liked the feeling of being near him and the comfort it gave her. 

But in the midst of his yelling, Matt had made it clear that he thought Harry was bad news.  By the looks of it, Matt was prepared to become best mates with Cal if that meant Harry would be out of the picture. So Mia knew that at all costs, she couldn't go near Harry tonight. Even a glance in his direction would start something and she would have never forgiven herself if something happened to take away from the boys and their big night. 

So that's how Mia found herself, stood in the corner with just Matt who was going on about how he didn't like the way Lux looked at him in the 30 seconds he stopped by to say hello. Everyone seemed to be having fun, chatting to each other and all that. Talia and Freya had tried to stop by and talk to them a few times, but by the look on Mia's face they realized that it would be best for her if they just left it for a bit. But she knew Harry was looking at her, she noticed him leaning against the wall on the opposite side of the room stood with Ethan, Tobi, and Cal. It felt like his gaze was burning into her and she was too scared to even sneak a glance.