Do it 'cause I like the pain

Chapter 9

I stared at the huge building as Dean drove up, my mouth gaped, I heard Dean chuckle.

We pulled into a garage, there was a lot of old cars and things.
Dean said" Get out, Jude." I got out, and followed him and Sam down some stairs, what is this place?

We walked into a mini library,
Dean said" This is the bunker, our home when we're not on the road."
I said" Cool." A man walked in,
He said" How was the- Who's that?" He looked at me,
Dean said" We'll talk about the case later. This is Jude... Jude Winchester. My kid."
" Your kid?"
" Long story for later." I looked at him, raising my eyebrow,
I said" So is most of this stuff deadly?"
" Probably. You're not gonna find out. Come on, I'll find you a room, you can settle down."
" All right."

He found me a room, I stared at the plainness of it all. I tilted my head, pouting,
He said" You'll get used to it."
I said" It's so bland."
" You can spruce it up all you want." I nodded my head then walked to the bed and laid down, staring at the boring ceiling." Hey, try and get some sleep, kid." I nodded my head," All right." He started closing the door,
" N-No!" He looked at me," I-Just... um, open..." I looked away from him, he sighed but left it open before walking away. I tugged hard at my hair, sighing as the small amount of pain shot through me.

I woke up, I checked the time, 7:56, I sighed then closed my eyes, then opened  them as I got up. I pulled on my jacket, and zipped it up, I walked out, heading towards the main room.

Dean's POV
I walked back into the library,
Sam said" He settling?"
I said" He will, eventually." I sighed," He wouldn't let me close his door."
" He'll be okay, Dean. Kid's survived this long, he can get through this."
Cas said" When did you have a son?"
I said" 15 years ago... his mom, uh, raised up with us, we-we had a thing and thing turned into a kid... kid grew up with an asshole stepdad, who beat him. Stepdad killed by demon... then mom killed by demon."
" What?"
" Oh, we left that demon, we're gonna have to go back."
Sam said" Dean, he can't handle that right now, he goes back... all of those feelings are gonna flood him and he's already destructive as it is."
" That demon's gonna keep killing, and you know what, I can't have that demon possibly coming after that kid. So I should head back, gank the demon, I'll be a couple days at most."
" Dean, he needs you, he needs his dad."
" I'm not that kid's dad. That kid was beat, probably to nearly dead, every day since he turned 8 years old. That kid thought his father hated him so much that he deserved to be beat. Wanna know what the kid did next? Started liking the beat downs, started hurting himself, pushing all that anger right back onto himself. Kid hates himself, that's on me."
" You weren't there, you didn't even know he existed."
" I should have gone after her when she took off."
" She didn't want to be found, Dean! And that's the one thing, Hailey knew how to do. Not be found."
" All of this could have been avoided, his mom could still be alive!"
" You can't hate yourself for not finding her, Dean."
" Yeah, I can. I can hate myself for abandoning my kid, for letting my kid get beat to a bloody pulp, for letting her get killed. She didn't deserve that. She was out."
" Yeah, Dean, she was. But you know what, sooner or later, something would've come back... a monster out for revenge. We were there, we saved your kid, we just... we didn't get to Hailey in time."

It was nearly 8, Jude's been in his room since I left him, we were sitting in the library. I heard shoes sliding, sluggishly, across the floor, I leaned over and saw Jude walking into the map area. He was half asleep, I scoffed,
I said" Hey, bud."
He mumbled" Hi." He stopped just as he was about to knock into a chair, he moved out of the way and continued walking.
" Nice instincts."
" Hm?" I chuckled, he tripped on the steps, balancing himself quickly, I smiled as he sat down next to me.
Sam said" Are you even awake right now?"
" 50/50."
" Good to know, you awake enough to eat something?" I slid a pizza box in front of him,
" Pizza, definitely." He grabbed a slice and began eating,
I said" Hey, I'm gonna head back to your town, find that demon, kill 'em... I'll be back in a few days." He looked at me, gulping," It's gonna be all right. I'll be back in a few days, Sam'll be here to watch you."
He mumbled" Why-Why can't... you stay, and-and Sam go?" I chuckled,
" I'll just be a few days. I'm better at killing demons than he is."
" N-No, you want revenge."
" You're good. Yeah, all right, I wanna kill the son of bitch who tried to kill you, and was apart of your mother's death."
" J-Just... Just stay."
" That demon's gonna keep killing people, maybe even come after you, and I can't have that."
" I-I don't care. Just don't-don't go. L-let it come after me."
" Hey, I can't let that happen. I'll just be gone a couple days. I've gotta kill this son of a bitch, okay, Jude?"
" Fine." He went back to eating, Sam looked at me, I looked at him, sighing, then went back to looking at Jude.
Sam said" Sure you don't need backup?"
I said" One demon, I'll be fine."
" Just take Cas, okay?"
" It's fine, I'll be back in a couple days."
" Call me if you need anything, all right?"
" Yeah, I know." I took a gulp of beer, Jude eyes drifted shut, kid's sleep deprived and exhausted, I want to help him, but I don't know how. Jude's head hit his arms and he was out, I sighed then took the crust out of his hand. I stood up then lifted him up into my arms,
" Need help?"
" Come on, bitch."
" Jerk." He stood up and walked ahead of me as we headed back to Jude's room.

I laid him on his bed, and pulled the cover over him, he rolled over and relaxed against the bed.
I said" Kid's had it rough, I'm just making it worse."
Sam said" How, Dean? He knows his dad didn't hit him, and honestly I think that gave him peace. He's scared, and heartbroken right now, just give him some time to know you."
" I've pulled a 15 year old into our lives."
" We were both 15 in this life."
" He didn't grow up in it, his mom didn't want this for him." I left a crack in the door and we started walking away,
" Yeah, I know, but now we've just gotta teach him to protect himself, keep him safe, get him back in school as much as we can."
" He hates me."
" He doesn't hate you, Dean. He's just angry at the world, and confused, scared, sad. Dean, he just needs time."
" Yeah, just watch out for him, I'll be a week at least."
" All right."