Do it 'cause I like the pain

Chapter 5

I stopped running once I got to the practice field, I saw the entire football and lacrosse team. I started walking, but I was grabbed and yanked back, dragged, I struggled and saw Dean.
I snarled" Let me go!"
He said" Not happening." I struggled as he dragged me back, my feet kicking the ground.

He let go of me, and I made a run for it, but he grabbed me and had me pinned against his car.
He said" I just wanna talk, Jude." I wiped my face, but fresh tears rolled down anyways.
I said" Well, I hope talking involves fists because I wanna be punched." I tried to cover up the sad, with a hard glare to Dean.
" Listen to me, all right, your mom was just trying to do the right thing." I got angry, how would he know anything, he hasn't been around!
" How would you know?! She-She lied to me... for fifteen fucking years!"
" She was protecting you."
" From what?!" He sighed, looking at the ground for a second before looking at me.
" From me." I tilted my head, squinting my eyes a little.
" What?"
" I'm your real dad, and the line of work I do... what your mom did... it gets messy, and it's no life for a kid." No. No. I don't believe this! This can't actually be happening right now!
" Wha... How... I..."
" I know that because I was raised up in it, so was your mom. She watched her parents get killed by a wendigo."
" I don't understand!"
" I hunt monsters, real monsters, demons, some angels..."
" No, no, none of that stuff is real."
" It is real, me and my brother are hunters. Your mom was till she got pregnant and disappeared without a trace."
" Wh-What... I-I..."
" She was protecting you."
" Then why'd she let him beat me?!" I wanted answers, I needed answers, I fucking needed answers.
" He threatened to tell you the truth, all this I'm telling you now... but you were an 8 year old, you didn't need to know about the monsters."
" He beat her too, ya know... before I started taking the punches for her! We could-could've left!"
" Hey, I wish I was there, okay? I do. Because I'd have never let anyone hurt you or Hailey." I don't understand what's happening right now, I'm confused and angry... and frustrated... and all I want to feel is numb. I need to feel numb. I need to have no feelings at all.
" Why weren't you?!"
" I didn't know... kid, if I knew... I'd have never let her take off. She was scared, neither of us were ready to be parents, and she was afraid that you'd get caught in the cross-fire of being a hunter. She wanted you to have a better life than she did." I slid down the side of the car, pulling my knees to my chest, staring at the ground." I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere, all right? Look, I'm gonna call your mom, tell her I found you, just sit tight." He walked away from me, I wanted to scream... I wanted to be punched, I wanted to be hurt. I looked at him on the phone, then got up, running quickly to the field.

I pushed dickhead #1, he turned and saw me,
He said" What the hell are you doing here?"
I said" Yeah..." I punched him square in the eye," Payback's a bitch, ain't it?" He punched, I hit the ground, sighing as pain spread through me. I flipped up," Come on, that didn't even hurt! You fucking wimp!"
" All right!" He tackled and started punching me, my head moved against the hits, I smiled, then spit blood in his face. He snarled," You Damn bitch! You're a fucking Psychopath!"
" Damn right!" He drew his fist back, then I heard Dean,
He yelled" Hey! Get off him!" The dickhead was pushed off me and Dean pulled me up.
He dragged me back to his car and opened the passenger and put me in. I breathed heavily, dropping my head, I sighed, feeling numb again. He got in and looked at me,
I mumbled" What?"
He said" Do you really think you deserve that kind of beating? Because I sure as hell don't."
" I deserve being beat."
" Who told you that?" I looked at him, then looked down," Yeah, of course, he'd say that! He wanted you to feel like shit, like you didn't deserve any love. He hated you, and he wanted you to hate yourself. Jude, hey. Look at me." I looked at him, he sighed," You don't deserve getting beat, all right? You never did, you never will. You gotta believe me on that."
" I beat people too. I fight."
" Yeah, 'cause you're pissed at the world and everyone in it."
" I like getting beat up. I-I like the numbing after it."
" You shouldn't."
" Whatever. You don't know the half of the shit I've been through."
" Yeah, I don't. I'd like to know." He started driving," But I know you won't tell me till you want to."

Once we got back to the house, mom ran out and hugged me as I got out, I hugged her back, digging my face into her hair.
She said" I'm sorry, Jude, I never should have lied to you."
I said" It's okay, I-I'm kinda happy he wasn't my actual dad."
" You and me both, baby. You and Dean talk?"
" Yeah. You coulda told me."
" I know, I know. But even parents are afraid sometimes."

I woke up to someone opening my window, I saw a figure climb in, I turned on my light and saw the girl I didn't know from school.
I said" What the hell?"
She said" You couldn't be any more right." Her eyes turned black,
I screamed" Dean!" Then she ran to me and straddled my chest, covering my mouth. She pulled out of a knife and put it against my neck.
" Shut it, Winchester." I screamed, and tried to get the upper-hand but she had my arms pinned down too. I heard my mom screaming, no! No! I bit her hand, she screamed in pain.
" Dean! Sam! Mom!"
" That's it!" She went to stab me, then she was grabbed, she was pulled off me. I saw black smoke go out the window, I scrambled up, Sam and Dean, Sam grabbed me,
He said" I got you, I got you."
I said" Mom!" I jumped up and ran to my mom's room, I opened the door and saw all the blood." No! No, no! No!" Then I saw another person, they laughed and went for the window. I ran and blocked them, I punched their face and grabbed their hand with the knife in it. I squeezed down as hard as I could, while twisting their wrist, they let go, the knife dropped from their hand. They grabbed me and threw me across the room,
I heard Dean yell" Jude!" I held the back of my head, wincing, then I heard a body drop.
" Mom!" I got up, turning on the light, I saw my mom dead, blood surrounded her, she was shredded.
Sam said" Oh, god. Jude, don't look, hey, hey..." I sobbed then took off,
I heard Dean yell" Jude! Jude?!" I ran down the stairs, jumping the 5th step and ran to the door. I quickly unlocked it and ran out, as fast as I could.