Do it 'cause I like the pain

Chapter 8

I was breathing heavily as I watched my mom's body burn on pike, my eyes squeezed shut, tears slid down my face.
I heard Dean say" Jude..." I took off, I ran as fast as I could away from them, I ran straight into a car, I yelped as I hit the ground. My back arched as I whimpered, fingers digging into the dirt, my eyes rolled back." Jude?!" I opened my eyes, staring at the sky, relief filled me,
I heard Sam say" Found him." I sighed, the numbing feeling setting in, I looked over at them as they stood next to me.
" Let me see your shoulder, Jude." I sighed then sat up, wincing a little, then stood up.
I said" I'm fine."
" Fine, move your shoulder around."
" Okay." I moved my shoulder a little, I grunted, I moved it really fast, pain shot through me followed by relief." See, I'm fine."
" All right." He slapped his hand onto my shoulder,
" Ow! Son of a bitch!"
" Liar." He walked away,
Sam said" You okay?"
I said" I'm great." I sighed then walked off, huffing.
———
I said" Where are we going?" I rubbed my eyes, sluggishly following Dean out the door.
Sam said" To a friend's."
" Who?"
Dean said" Someone that can make sure you stay with me."
" You know, you're technically my biological dad, you already have rights."
" Yeah, well, this is what your mom wanted."
" How do you know?"
" I just know. Now, get in the car."
" Where are we going?" I got into the car, yawning,
" Into town." They closed their doors and Dean started driving,
" Where into town?"
Sam said" Wow, he is just like you."
Dean said" Shut up." I stared out the window.

We pulled up to this house, they got out, I got out after them, rushing after them. Dean knocked on the door, a girl opened it,
She said" Who's the kid?" She looked at me,
Dean said" Where's Jody?"
" Doing whatever you guys asked, she wouldn't tell me." Dean grabbed my arm and dragged me in behind him," Who's the kid?!"

We walked to a woman,
She said" Is that.. oh, whoa, he looks like you."
Dean said" How far did you get?"
" Not very far, my hacking skills are mediocre at best."
Sam said" Yeah, I'll take over."
" Thank you. Hi, sweetie, I'm Jody Mills." I looked down,
Dean said" His name is Jude."
The girl said" Can someone fill me in?"
" He's my son."
" Holy shit! When did you get a son?"
" 15 years ago. Just found out a few days ago."
" Where's his mom?" My fists tightened, my breathing picked up,
" She... She didn't make it."
I said" She died because you didn't go to her."
" Jude-"
" You shoulda went to her first! I was fine with dying." I walked away, and quickly out out of the house, the world got disorienting and I wobbled.

I didn't get far as Dean drove slowly next to me.
I said" Leave me alone."
He said" Where are you gonna go?"
" I-I don't know. But anywhere away from you is great."
" Jude, Hailey would've wanted me to go to you first. And if you didn't make it that night, and she did... she'd do anything to  bring you back, even if it meant sacrificing herself."
" I don't care."
" Yeah, you do. Now get in the car."
" No."
" Jude, get in the car."
" No, I-I don't know you, or Sam or anyone! And-And I can barely freakin' think! All I can see is her blood, and all I wanna do is not feel a damn thing!"
" I know how you feel, Jude."
" No, you don't! I-I feel so angry all the time, I-I deserve to get hurt, I deserve all the damn kicks! I was punched so much, I started to like it! And now it's been a few days and I'm itching for the pain! I-I wanna scream so loud that I break the sound barrier. And-And- I can see her face, it's itched into my mind. And all I can think about is how she hated when I hurt myself, but all I wanna do is hurt myself!" I breathed heavily, then crouched down, I stared at the concrete under me, I screamed then drew my fist back. It was caught and I saw Dean holding my fist back.
" Come on, Jude. Let's get back."
" No."
" Yes." He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me up," I know how you feel, I've lost plenty of people, but right now, I'm not losing you." He put me into the car, I pulled my knees up to my chest, staring out the window. He got in and started driving," You're gonna be all right, Jude, I'm gonna make sure of it. You're my son, you're tougher than you think right now."

He dragged me back into the house,
Sam said" He okay?"
Dean said" He wants to hurt himself. You got it done?"
" Yeah, Jude Winchester."
" Good. We should head to the bunker soon."
" All right."
I said" What's the bunker?"
" Where we live when we're not on the road."
Jody said" Staying for dinner?"
Dean said" Definitely."

My phone rang, I sighed as I saw Brooklyn's name pop up, I put on a smile then answered.
I said" Hey, Brooklyn."
She said" Hi, Tortoise. So, where are you?"
" Uh, South Dakota. Long story."
" Cool, you won't believe what happened at school?"
" Tell me and I'll see."
" The girls and all who support, have started a re-love-ution."
" Wait, what? A revolution?"
" No, no, a re-love-ution. We want equality in our school, and we want it now. All of the girl's sports teams have officially went on strike, the drama club, art and chess clubs have as well. We've also got the boy's baseball and basketball teams on our side."
" Damn, whoa, I'm sorry I'm missing that."
" You're the founder, Jude. All of those acts of kindness you did for anyone is why we're all standing tall."
" That's amazing."
" Yeah, we're gonna have a walk-out, at school, it's gonna be amazing. I'll facetime you, okay?"
" Yeah, definitely." She blew me a kiss, I smiled a little for real," I miss you, Brooklyn."
" I miss you too, Tortoise. Try to keep smiling, okay?"
" Yeah, I promise."