30. No More Lies.

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Quinn

I felt numb. Everything felt like it as crashing down around me, and I felt alone. It truly felt like my world had collapsed around me. I'd lost the cheerios. I'd lost my home. My parents didn't want to know me. I'd now lost my boyfriend and my best friend and I felt entirely alone. The minute that Ryan walked out of that choir room door and the look that he gave me when he found out. One of hurt and anger at what I have done. With one of his best friends at that. I felt so numb and so ashamed.

But the last person I expected to talk to me first was Rachel. I mean this was all her fault that this came out like this. I mean granted my actions were the real reason, but everything was going okay until now. But I also knew deep down I couldn't hold that against her.

"I'm so sorry" She lead with. Looking genuine for once.

I hope you are. My life is a mess.

"I fully understand if you want to beat me up."

I just looked at her blankly. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but believe me she wasn't on my list of priorities right now.

"If you can, just try to avoid my nose." She finished and then closed her eyes and braced herself. I smirked knowing that I still somewhat could scare her, but I didn't feel like a smack down with her as of right now. I know this was brought on by myself. She actually did the right thing. The one thing I didn't have the courage to do.

"I'm not mad at you." I started "All you did was what I wasn't brave enough to do..." I paused "tell the truth." I nodded.

"I was selfish when I told him." She said joining me on the bench I was sat at. "I wanted to break you two up so he would want to be with me." She said and hung her head in shame.

"And now neither of us have him" I said back. It was all kind of ironic. I looked up to keep the tears at bay. "I have hurt so many people." I said. I knew I had. I wasn't completely ignorant to the fact. "Can you go now? I just really want to be alone." I asked Rachel in the most polite way I could. I just really wanted to be alone. Which again was ironic. When all I really wanted was for everything to go back to normal, where I have everyone around me.

She nodded, taking one last look at me to make sure that was actually what I needed, and then I was back to being alone. For all of about a minute. Until I was joined by the one person equally responsible for all this.

Puck.

"Hey" He said taking the seat that Rachel was in just moments ago."So I know you're upset now. But I want to be with you"

Was he really doing this right now?

"And I'm gonna do everything I can to be a good dad to our baby." He said with enough conviction I actually believed him. I nodded at his statement.

"Thanks. But I honestly can't handle any more stress in my life right now."

He looked down at the rejection. Obviously not used to being told no. But with everything happening right now. I couldn't handle anything more that could stress me and the baby out.

"I'm gonna do this on my own" I said with determination. "I know you don't understand it. But please respect it" I said and got up to walk down the hall. Leaving a kind of stunned Puck behind me.

**********

On the Friday and the day before we head off to sectionals we all found out that Finn and Ryan didn't want to come sectionals. Finn didn't want to be in the same room as me and Ryan seemed to be doing anything that his cousin needed or wanted. I knew Ryan needed to go to sectionals. I knew he wanted to go. He's just always thinking about others, and never does anything that is just for him. I wish he could just be selfish for once and do what he wants. But then again what can I do now that he refuses to talk to me.

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