09 | thinking with the wrong head

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"YOU BITCH!" FIONA YELLED, rushing down the stairs as James took off down the road. She wrapped her in a tight hug that made Amara nearly burst into tears. "You had me worried sick. You okay? No severe injuries, anything like that?"

Amara weakly shook her head and wiped her eyes. "No, no. I'm okay. Lost my license, though."

Fiona twirled a strand of her hair and draped an arm around her, leading her up the steps. "I made some breakfast. I know how shitty jail food is, figured you might be hungry. Silvia's inside, too."

Amara faltered. "Lip there?"

Fiona gave a sad smile. "He's been beating himself up over it. Won't say it, but I can tell. He feels really bad. Thinks it's his fault."

Amara shrugged. "I'd rather not see him."

Fiona bit her lip and glanced towards the door. "I'll make sure the kitchens clear. You'll come in then?"

"Dunno," her response was barely audible.

"I know he's a dick, Mara. I could take a wild guess on what he told you, or how he even dumped you, but you can't let him drive you out. I miss having you here," Fiona offered her a hand. "So stay for me. Not for him."

Amara felt a smile tug at her mouth and she grabbed Fiona's hand. "Fine."

Fiona grinned. "Okay, good. Now, about that James guy..."

Amara gagged as they stepped into the house. "No way."

"Is that the same boy who Lip had problems with during high school? And the one who gave you shit all those summers ago?"

"It is," she confirmed.

"Then what the fuck are you doing with him?"

Amara threw a smirk over her shoulder. "Told you I got a sugar daddy."

Fiona rolled her eyes as the sound of a baby crying upstairs carried its way to the kitchen. Amara winced and grabbed the plate of food the eldest Gallagher made her, and sat next to Silvia at the table, who was doing her homework. "I did some research," her sister said. "There's a few job opportunities at the-"

"Relax," Amara shook her head and waved her off. "Don't worry yourself with that. I can figure something out."

Fiona rubbed her eyes sleepily at the counter as the crying continued. "How long do you think she can go for?"

"She stopped for, like, a half hour last night," Lip replied, jogging down the stairs, and freezing when he saw Amara. She pointedly looked down at her plate to avoid his gaze. "I'm glad I moved back home. Wouldn't want to miss this."

"Sounds like a hunger cry," Fiona mused. "Debs might not be producing enough milk. She might need to supplement with formula. Someone should tell her."

"Not you?" Sean questioned as Lip slid into the seat across from Amara—and she felt betrayed by her own feelings as her stomach did a summer-salt just because he was so close. She raised her head to meet his eyes, and refused to let her glare soften.

"It's none of my business," Fiona said. "She's made that abundantly clear."

"I could try," Silvia cut in, glancing between Amara and Lip, before standing up. Amara shot her a pleading look, silently begging her not to leave her alone with the blonde, but she ignored it. "She might call me a bitch again but I guess that's fair since I called her a cunt."

Fiona nodded, and Silvia disappeared up the stairs a moment later. "I wish she'd just let one of you hold the baby," she said.

"Maybe shes got that postpartum thing," Lip suggested. "You know, when girls go feral in corners and gouge anyone's eyes out who get too close."

She knew he was talking about Debbie, but there was a slight edge to his tone that made Amara look up with a scowl.

"What are those things called that guys wear at weddings?" Fiona wondered, going into the dining room. "The flower things?"

"Boutonnières," Sean answered, following after her and the rest of their conversation was inaudible.

"We should talk," Lip said quietly.

"Nothing to talk about," Amara responded, pulling out her phone. "Besides, talking went so well last time."

"I- I know," he ran a hand through his hair. "But I feel horrible. I shouldn't have said any of that. It was all wrong, I used your pain against you and I'm a shitty person for doing so."

"Yeah," she agreed, still not looking at him. "You are."

"Uh," he cleared his throat and shifted in his chair awkwardly. "And I've been thinking. About what you said. About how I broke your heart."

"Twice now," she remarked.

She saw him swallow from the corner of her eye, and he dropped his head into his hands before looking back up. "This is probably weird for you, talking to me after what I did. You deserve way more than any apology I can come up with, but I've really- really been thinking about it. I just- I want to make things right because you're my best friend and you don't deserve what I did to you, and I made a promise that I'd never hurt you again and-"

Lip," she interrupted. "I get that you're sorry, but I don't really care."

"Wha-what?"

Amara rose to her feet. "You dumped me so you could go fuck your professor and not feel guilty about cheating. I get it, I guess. She must've been something special. But you didn't have to lie to me about it."

"No, no, it's not that. I didn't dump you-"

"You didn't? What was that then?"

"Fucking Christ, Amara!" He bursted out loudly, flinging his hands down, and she flinched back. "Just let me talk!"

She broke their stare, averting her eyes to the floor. "Go on then."

"I'm apologizing for last night," he told her, quieter now. "I should have never said those things to you. And about- about the professor thing, I just needed to figure out my feelings. I didn't want to hurt anybody."

"Look how well that worked out," she shot at him, standing in front of him now. "We broke up and the only time you talk to me is when you're drunk."

"I'm not-"

"I can smell it on your breath," she shook her head. "Again. Don't bother lying. I think you've done enough of that already."

"Well, it's not like you've made an effort to talk to me," he retorted.

Amara bit her lip angrily and tried to control her breathing. "Did you manage to do it? Sort out your feelings?" He fell silent and she shoved past him. "Maybe next time you want to break up a year relationship you'll learn to think with your head and not your dick."

HARD TIMES ━ lip gallagher²Where stories live. Discover now