Just Pretending

Chapter Twenty-Three

~Chapter Twenty-Three~

Sleep. That's all I wanted after everything that happened tonight. I was exhausted...in more ways than one actually. I was tired of the tears, tired of the hurt, tired I was just pretending everything was alright, and frankly, tired in general.

Once I finally got home I stumbled inside and walked straight to my bed, finding the picture of Louis and I now out of it's broken frame and lying peacefully on the bedside table. I slowly picked it up and put it under my pillow as I climbed into bed and drifted off to sleep.

*Flashback*

"You can lay with me tonight, I don't want you sleeping alone." Louis rushed into his room with his hand still firmly around mine as he turned on the lights, "Do you want some pajamas?"

I nodded my head softly and watched as he rummaged through his dresser to give me something to wear.

I don't know what I'd do without him, especially tonight...I wouldn't have a place to stay seeing as how my parents basically kicked me out.

"Here you go love, you know where the bathroom is. Go ahead and change, ill get everything else ready." Louis handed me the clothes and smiled softly.

Practically making myself walk, I made it to the bathroom and managed to get into his pajamas which were rather big on me. I laughed when I looked into the mirror but quickly let my smile fade. I didn't deserve to laugh right now, what was wrong with me?!

I began to shake and cry for the hundredth time that night as I started to see and hear it all again..my screams as I ran over to James lifeless body..the cries released from the woman who hit him...the sirens that rushed down the street and the paramedics that peeled James from my grasp..it was all too much.

"Demi?!" Louis burst into the bathroom and found me on the floor sobbing. Without hesitation, he picked me up bridal style and carried me to his bed, allowing me to stain his shirt with tears.

He turned his lamp off and climbed into bed next to me, wrapping his arms around my body so attempt to keep me from shaking so much.

"It's..it's all my fault Louis..I shouldn't have said that to him.." I got that much out between breaths before I started crying hard again.

"Don't say that, it's not your fault. You didn't tell James to run away..you didn't tell that lady to not watch where she was going.."

"Yes but I told him To get out of my life and look what he did!"

Louis froze. I could hear him try to find the words to say but he couldn't, he knew I was right.

"So now I know, my wish came true..and that's not even what I wanted Louis! I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it!" I started to cough on the tears that filled my throat.

"Shhh, I know babe I know, shh I'm here. I know, I know." Was all he could say. But for some reason, knowing that he was there made me feel safe for the first time that night.

"Louis please don't leave me like my parents did, I need you.." I felt myself suddenly become tired and weak as I drifted off.

"Im never going to leave you, I'll always protect you no matter what." His grip around me tightened and with that, we both fell asleep in each others arms.

*************

*Knock-Knock*

I shot up at the sound of someone pounding at my door. Who would come over at a time like this?! After all it was...one-thirty pm?! I slept in that late?!

Again the door sounded as I sighed and stood. For the first time in my life I hoped it wasn't Louis. I couldn't face him at all, especially after last night.

And to my luck, it wasn't.

But in a way it was much worse.

"Hello!" Harry's scruffy voice chimed throughout my apartment.

I made myself smile and pulled him into a hug, "Harry..what are you doing here?"

"Well, I feel bad that I didn't get to see you last night so I wanted to come over and take you to lunch." He walked in and smiled but let that drop once he realized I must have just gotten up, judging by my messy bed and hair, "Did I wake you?"

"Yes but that's okay, I needed to get up anyways." I sighed and walked over to my bed and began to make it, "So..have you talked to Louis at all today?"

Gosh it's only been a less than a day of avoiding Louis and I needed to know how he was. What I really needed was a damn intervention.

"No actually..he left early this morning to breakfast with Eleanor I think." Harry took his coat off and sat down on my couch, "But..he seemed really, really upset last night. He wouldn't tell me what happened..Demi?"

I looked up and forced yet another smile, "Yes?"

"What did happen?"

"It's a long story Harry. A lot happened last night to be honest."

"Then why don't we discuss it over lunch? I'm sorry if I sound persistent, I just want to know what going on with my best friend..and you." Harry walked over to me again and placed his hand on my cheek, "I hate to see you so..so lost and sad."

That was it. Harry wanted to know and so I would tell him..about everything. He deserved to know after all.

"Harry, why don't we stay here?" I pulled him over to the couch and sat down.

He smiled suspiciously and eyed me,"Okay...why?"

I was scared to tell him because as of now, he was the only close friend I had left. But I've lost everyone else, so why not one more? I was used to this..used to losing things that were important to me.

Even though it hurt.

"Harry, we need to talk."