Follow You Into The Dark - Shane Walsh [ the walking dead ]

Chapter Twenty-Three

Shane stood by my side all night. Only leaving to go to the bathroom or check on Rick and Carl. Hershell had come over a while later to look at the injury in my head and to see if i had any infections, upgrading me on Patricia and her condition after i had asked him. I also told him the clean and free-guilty version of what had happened, recounting what went down was starting to become a mantra in my head.

Shane sat in the chair, as i looked at the ceiling. A lamp was lighting the room, and i could see the man readjusting his position on the chair from time to time. I knew we weren't talking after i pushed him away. But although i didn't love him, i cared deeply for him. He saved my mom, and he took care of her. I had a deep connection towards him, else why i was so afraid to let it evolve further. Although we had spent a night together, that didn't mean we were in love. We both knew that wasn't the case. The case here was a profound admiration towards one another.

" Come lay by my side, you'll be more comfortable," I told him, my voice coming out as raspy. My throat sore from coughing hours prior.

He turned to look at me, shaking his leg as he pondered on my words. He took off his shoes and laid carefully on the bed beside me. Positioning himself like i was.

We stayed in silence for a few more seconds before i heard his voice.

" You know, when i saw you covered in blood..."

" You don't have—"

" But i do. Because you don't understand Ashley. You have no idea what i felt, how i felt. And even now, my body shakes from even thinking about closing my eyes. I get it , you don't do feelings. Whatever happened before all of this, made you who you are. I'm not who i used to be, but im trying here ..."

My body jerked itself without my permission from the bed. The room zoomed around in my head. But i didn't let it stop me.

" What? What are you trying Shane? Are you trying to say you want to be with me? Look around you , everything is dead . There's no future, what do you want? You want to hold hands ? " I spat the same words he did at me back in the highway " Is that what you want ? You want to be by my side while we fight off those creatures, watching my back and forget to watch your front when we're facing danger? Is that what you're trying to say? "

He tried to grab my arms to lay me down back into the bed once again but i didn't budge.

" What if i am? " He asked, raising his voice slightly at me . " What if im trying to make you understand that whatever we have, we can make it work? Look around you, we're safe . We actually found a place we can rest without worrying about our next meal or who's going on runs to the city "

I tried to hold back tears from falling.

" It's not that simple Shane ."

" No, it's not . I know damn well it ain't. But c'mon , we need to make it simple some way or another. Don't you want to have a place , safe . So you can go to bed and not worry about a walker coming and attack your family ? Our family? We have a chance here "