Life Through A Lens

You're Pretty Fucking Hot

The two left after picking up a few dishes each. Kalani looked between us and Izzie wouldn't look up. I rested my hand on her lap and she just brushed it away. "I'm going to see if they need any help." I nodded and when she left turned Izzie's chair to face me. "What's wrong?" "Not here okay." She said standing up tucking her hair behind her ears. "Chase doesn't know." She said as she picked both our dishes up. I followed her through to the kitchen completely confused. 

"I'm going to take Ian out to the stables." Izzie said putting the dishes in the sink. "Yeah sounds good... We're gonna clean up here then I'm gonna head out." "Okay cool, um what time are you coming over tomorrow?" "Around 10 ish, that cool." "Yeah perfect." She hugged Logan. Kalani and Chase both said they were heading out also. So we just said bye and waited for them to go.

"So?" I asked sitting down on the couch. "I was high on coke and I went to beat a girl up who was  at a party...She ran off up to the roof. I saw a golf club and followed her and smashed every window, light up there and then... I tried to throw myself off the roof Luna pulled me away." I wasn't expecting that. I didn't know what to say. I knew she was bad after her dad died I didn't think she was that bad. I thought she just took a few drugs and partied a little too hard but she was taking hard core drugs at 14 and she wasn't okay mentally. And the way she spoke about it, it's almost like she's just blocked it out as if it's just a story she told rather than a life experience. 

"I was in hospital for like a week and we told Chase that I was playing Golf and slipped and I dislocated my arm by Luna pulling me away because I slipped not because I was trying to..." She trailed off. "I didn't know things were that bad Izzie." She looked up from the cushion she was playing with. "Don't cry E." She said instantly noticing the tears in my eyes. "I'm fine now." "You were hurting so bad... That you." "I'm okay now though..." She moved over to me.  "Thats the main thing, I sorted myself out and I got better." 

"The time after your mum died... when we were on vacation did you..." "I went to a dark place for a little while but it wasn't as bad as it was with my dad." She said being honest, I could tell because she kept eyecontact. "I had you... You made me have hope that everything will be okay one day..." "It will you know." "I beleive that." She said. "You'd tell me if you ever felt like that again... right?" I asked. I needed to know because I couldn't lose her not now I know what it's like to have her in my life. If she just left it would hurt so much I think I'd feel so hallow without her smile lighting up the room and laughter dancing through the air. "I'm not that person anymore Ian... You don't have to worry." She assured me. "But if something was to happen..." I looked away for a second to compose myself. "You'd tell me right?" She chewed her inner cheek. "Yeah." She finally said after what felt like an eternity. "I'd tell you. Because I know you'd fix everything... you always do... You make me feel like I can carry on and fight." It warmed my heart that I had that effect on her. "But please don't worry about me... I'm fine. I've not been this happy in a very long time." She said reaching out for my hand, she twisted my rings around on my fingers. "You make me happy." "Good because you make me real happy too." She smiled.

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We spent the rest of the night in her room under the sheets until the late am and then we watched the sunrise together. Instead of sleeping like a normal person after night we had Izzie went on a run leaving me to have the house to myself. Of course I just slept. 

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For Chases birthday we had a party at the house. It was pretty dope. There was a phone drop box no photos was taken after entering the house. One because Logan has a professional job so if she was photographed drunk dancing on the outside table she would have gotten a disiplinary and two I was here with Bella and that will just spark up a whole load of things.