Adored (bxb)

Chapter Six

Josh's POV

Ty had really gone and screwed me this time.

Today was supposed to be a fun time watching Gerald be a Dom in public, not the day that I finally had to fess up to my secret feelings about kink to him. But Ty had never been one to shy away from being honest and blunt, so he ratted us both out without a second thought.

So now I was faced with a worried boyfriend, which always put me on edge. Ger was so confident in everything that he did, so seeing him walking on eggshells made me creeped out.

"Okay, so Ty was pretty blunt back there," Gerald said, risking a quick glance at the door as though he expected Ty to bust into the room.

I hated these types of conversations. Looking into Gerald's eyes and explaining my opinion and feelings was the fastest way to trigger my fight or flight reflex.

"Yeah..." I looked at Ger. He was in cute plaid pajama bottoms and a gray t-shirt. His hair was a fluffy, dark-brown mop that gave him a boyish look. "That didn't piss you off, right?"

I knew he wasn't pissed off, because not only did it take a lot to make him mad, but it also was blatantly obvious when he was.

Still had to ask, though. Dumb brain.

"Nope." I liked the way Gerald smiled when it was just the two of us. His mouth was curved just a little and his eyes were soft. He was happy in a quiet kind of way. "I'm happy he said something. Ty likes to take care of you, you know."

Boy did I know it. Sometimes his care was a little too nosy— no, that wasn't true. Ty was just nosy enough.

Now I had to actually explain why Ty said what he said. "So, I might've mentioned to Ty that I think you hold back."

Oh jeez, it was horrible to have to say that. My gut twisted into knots and I looked away from him. I couldn't help that my body locked into place, bracing for his anger.

"Okay," he said. I risked a glance and he was nodding. "That's probably true."

A while back, Gerald made me write out the kinks I thought I would be interested in trying out. Despite the paperwork, our sex was usually vanilla. Despite the collar that spent most of its time in my bedside drawer, Gerald refused to take ownership.

We didn't always have vanilla sex. Every time I looked at the the muscle of Gerald's bare arms, I was reminded of how they felt holding my hands above my head. He restrained me, we used wax, we used sensory play. Nothing with impact. Nothing that involved too much pain.

I needed to text Jase ASAP.

Also, Gerald and I were awkwardly staring at each other.

Gerald quirked his head to the side. "Tell me more about why you feel like that."

Oh jeez. I had a boyfriend who was, in theory, this badass Master guy at a kink club. There were times, rare times, during sex, where I saw that gleam in his eyes. I saw him want to do filthy things to me. He wanted to claim me as his own through his actions.

But he never did.

"Um, the list!" There, that was a tangible reason. "We never really do anything on that list you had me fill out. Like we do, sometimes, but you never initiate and I'm way too awkward— you know how awkward I am..."