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Chapter Thirty-Three

Chapter Thirty-Three - Anniversary

Friday, 10th April 2020

KRYSTALLIA

I woke up to the sound of my alarm and went to turn it off. Slowly prying my eyes open, I checked the clock and saw the date. My whole body was overwhelmed with feelings and emotions as my brain registered the day.

Pushing the thoughts away, I got up and quickly did my simple morning routine before changing into a black hoodie and pants.

Walking out of the closet to go get my bag, my eyes landed on the various picture frames and trophies on the shelf above my table.

There were pictures of Sam and I when we skipped school to go to theme parks, my brothers taking me to travel around the world, my graduation portraits, trophies of different competitions, 'Best At Subject' awards, and how could I forget?

My family photo on my sixth birthday.

Our last picture together as a whole family.

The teddy bear dad gave me was right beside me as it outsized my little form. We were so happy that day. I was soon to be graduating kindergarten and my brothers were starting a new chapter of their lives — high school.

Yet, even with all the technology, we couldn't have predicted what would happen in a few days.

I gingerly picked up the picture and ran the pad of my thumb over my parents' faces, "Hey dad. Hey mom."

I stared at their smiling features as I spoke to the inanimate object, "I turned twenty a few days ago. Even rejected a boy."

I couldn't do it, alright? Call me stupid, but I just couldn't.

"He said he'll wait until I'm ready, but I don't think I'll ever be."

I could feel my eyes grow wet as I continued to talk to myself, "He's nice, I think you'll approve of him. Just like you approved of Ez."

"Mr. Snuggle Snow is still in good condition," I said, referring to the white teddy bear. I could hear the door open but paid no mind to it.

"The twins are taking care of the gang. They're doing great. I wish you could see them become the leaders they were born to be."

I sniffled a little, trying to make sure the waterworks wouldn't start, "We're gonna visit you after school today. I haven't seen you in forever."

A pair of arms wrapped themselves around my waist as I felt someone place their head on my shoulder. I carefully placed the picture back on the shelf as I mumbled, "I miss you."

Slowly dropping my hands to my side, the deep but soft voice spoke, "It's okay to cry."

I turned around to face KT before wrapping my arms around his torso, burying my face in his chest as he stroked my hair, "It's okay to not be okay."

I nodded and he held me like I was a fragile flower, ready to wither away from his grip. I wanted to tell him, to reassure him, that I was fine, I was okay.

But I know I'm not. Far from it. And he knew it too.

I was just keeping it under wraps. Under layers and layers of lies I tell myself.

I may be strong enough for gang life, but I'm not strong enough to be alright.

I'm not strong enough to get over their deaths.

Something so simple, to just be okay, anyone can do it, but of course...

Even the strongest people had their weakest times too. And this was mine.

***

Dragging my feet across the parking lot, Sam and I entered the school in silence. We went to our lockers and took the books we needed for the day when I felt someone's presence beside me. I closed the locker shut and turned to face him.

"Hey, Diamond."

I put on a smile that even I think is too fake as I greeted, "Hey."

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight."

I could sense Sam tense up and slowly shook my head, "I'm sorry, I have something going on at home. Maybe tomorrow?"

He hesitated a little before smiling, "Yeah, tomorrow's cool."

I started walking towards the lecture hall with Sam and Zach on either side of me and Zach asked in a low voice, "What's going on at your home if you don't mind me asking?"

I unnoticeably stiffened and came up with yet another lie, "My parents are coming home and we plan to have dinner together before they leave again tomorrow."

He raised an eyebrow but nodded again and I let out a sigh of relief when he wasn't looking. We arrived at the hall and I turned to look at Zach.

"See you," I smiled and he returned the gesture before pecking my temple, "See you."

His hand lingered on my cheek as he stared into my eyes, seemingly trying to decipher if I was covering up my emotions. He then smiled before leaving for his own class.

Sam came and wrapped an arm around my shoulder, "Let's get class out of the way first, Krystie. Then we'll go see them."

I nodded and he led me in.

***

Class ended and I walked out to see Sam standing by the door. He gave me a soft smile before wrapping a secure arm around my shoulder and leading me to the lockers. My brothers were bringing me straight home so we could get ready for the memorial in the evening.

Quickly taking our things, we headed out into the parking lot and made a beeline to the SUV. Kris helped me in and we went home to change.

***

Arriving home, we entered in silence and I went up to my room. I walked to the closet and picked out a black half sleeve dress with a flowy A-line and a belt around my waist. Before slipping on my black princess coat, I strapped the shoulder holster around and tucked a knife on the left, pistol on the right.

I slipped on a pair of ankle boots as I clasped the last necklace my father bought me. It was by my collarbone when I was young and now, it almost acted as a loose choker. A little pendant was hanging in the middle with 'Daddy's Girl' engraved in it.

I wore a pair of crystal studs mom gave me and she told me to wear it when I was older. There was a small 'MW' engraved in the center of either stud, an abbreviation of 'Mommy's World'.

I haven't touched the jewelry they gave me in a decade. Now looking at it, I smiled in the mirror at the sentimental value it brought.

A knock erupted from the door and I took a deep breath to calm myself down before I walked out of my room.

Thank you for choosing to read AYR.

See you!

-Phantom