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ˏˋ°•*⁀➷CHAPTER FIFTY FIVE diary entry ₊˚ˑ༄ؘ
D̶e̶a̶r̶ ̶D̶i̶a̶r̶y̶
𝓣his isn't my Diary, I don't even own a Diary. I'm writing from a piece of parchment paper Tom Riddle left on the floor of his unhumbled home at the Malfoy Manor. I have been left alone for two days now, I struggle to sleep, watching and waiting out the window for the marauders. Regulus, to appear and rescue me.
I feel like a damsel in distress, I don't want to feel this way. I like having power, but now I have nothing. The isolation hasn't hit me yet, the feeling of being alone. I like being away from Tom, whenever he's around me I feel claustrophobic, as though he's draining every inch of air left within me.
I don't like the feeling of being powerless, but right now I do not have much of anything. I have been closing my eyes and trying to imagine myself out of this mess. How it will all end? I've considered many paths over the course of my hours in this room.
One ended with us all dead, giving us the peace we finally deserved. Dumbledore created a memorial for us 'the marauders' for us to be remembered by. But that path made me cry so hard I struggled to breathe. I don't want it to end that way.
My second path was me with two children. A boy and a girl. Regulus grips my hand and tells me everything is okay now because it is. They both got admitted to Hogwarts, which filled us both with immense joy. I was happy in that dream, the happiest I have ever felt but once I opened my eyes and came back to the solid grey coloured room, I felt dislocated from society.
I haven't considered my third path yet, what else is there other than life or death? A life without Regulus isn't one I want to consider, Ariyah has told me too many times that manifestation is real. I didn't believe her until she reminded me that I'm a wizard who uses a wand and can create anything I put my mind to.
I find it hard to consider the future at all. The possibilities it holds.
Every time something goes right, it ends up wrong. Vice Versa.
I am living my own personal hell, why? I ask myself this over and over again, I want to be sat at the lake with the marauders, Regulus' hand in mine and a cigarette in each of our hands. I want to laugh and smile, to feel safe.
But that feeling is long gone now.
I never should have involved myself with Tom Riddle. That was the first mistake I made. But I have to keep telling myself that the past is long gone now, and I can't change it. Even if I try.
Dear Piece Of Parchment Paper,
Its been 6 days since my last entry. I haven't seen anyone in a total of 8 days. I get food slid underneath my door, one meal a day. I tried not to eat it at first, but after three days I realised I had no choice.
