The World is Ugly (Frerard)

10: Mission Impossible

Can you forgive me again?

I don't know what I said

But I didn't mean to hurt you

Frank's POV
It was all Gerard's fault, wasn't it?

It wasn't me who started the fight, I was only defending myself, right?

I shrink in my seat, avoiding the threatening glares of my history teacher. I have done absolutely nothing during the whole hour I've been sitting here, and to be honest I couldn't care less.

I hate the fact that the desk beside me is empty, and I hate the fact that I'm actually missing Gerard. He insulted me, so why do I feel the urge to apologize to him?

I sigh, and replay the whole fight in my mind for the billionth time.

What did I say that made him go crazy?

'I think you can figure it out' . I had said before he exploded. Was that it? No, I don't think so.

He called me stupid and a coward and honestly, I think it hurt me more than it should have.

He also said he cared about me... Could that be it? No, it makes no sense. What kind of sick mind would you have to have to insult a suicide, unless you wanted them to try again?

I shake my head. No, Gerard wouldn't do that.

But what if it wasn't me he was mad at? What if he's had past experiences with suicide and I just triggered the memory?

I hold my breath.

Has Gerard...? No, he couldn't have. Maybe someone close to him? Maybe Mikey? No, I don't think so.

But then who? I ask myself, and my mind goes blank. That makes me realize how little I know about Gerard's past. I have no idea where he lived before moving to this school, and I have absolutely no idea what made him move.

Maybe it has something to do with that experience I'm trying to figure out. No matter how much I despise the fact, this is the only explanation that makes sense at all.

I stand up before I realize what I'm doing. The teacher and the whole class turns to me with curious eyes.

"What's the problem, Mr. Iero?" The grape-shaped teacher asks.

"I need to go to the school counsellor." I say confidently. The school policy says that no visit to the counsellor can be denied, and I'm astronomically grateful for that stupid rule. I smile internally, taking pride in the fact that I've just used it against them.

The fat teacher looks me up and down, rolls her eyes and finally sighs.

"Go, but remember to bring back a signed slip for-" I'm not even listening to what she's saying. By the time she opens her mouth, I'm already crossing the treshold to freedom.

I close the door at my back. Now what am I planning to do?

The answer is nothing. I have no plan at all, but I'm certain that I need to do something. I need to go after Gerard.

The problem is, I have no idea how to do that. As I've said before, I don't even know where he lives.

I take out my phone, and dial his number from memory. I wait until the annoying voice of a woman tells me I'm about to be charged before I dial again. And again. And again. And again, and again and again. And not once do I hear as much as a sound from the other end of the line.

I give up. I have to find some other way. I pace the hallways, looking for inspiration. Then, I stop short.

The principal's office.