Both Sides | ✓

Chapter 19

Olivia's POV:

I pulled up to River's curb, the night sky casting us into blurry shadows. We hadn't talked the whole drive there. Some things were better unsaid. Still, once I put the car into park, River stayed seated, so I got out the only thing I could think.

"I'm sorry."

They scoffed in response, and I sort of felt like getting out of my car and running away.

"I don't get you, Olivia." They ran a hand through their hair and looked over at me. "You act like one day, you like me, and the next, you don't. I've been confused for weeks, and you just... You're making me feel like shit. I'm not someone you can use when you feel lonely or, " they took in a quick breath before, "or when Cleo doesn't want to be with you."

I let myself deflate in my chair for a moment before looking back. "I've... Been confused, too. I thought that I might be able to like you, but I just... Don't like you in that way. I shouldn't have strung you along. I'm sorry."

"Did you ever like me?"

I didn't know how to respond, really. "River, I think that you're great-"

"Come on," they scoffed. "I don't need your pity. I just want you to answer the question."

"I'm sorry, " I said, shaking my head. "You're a really good friend."

"So, that's a no, then."

"I'm sorry," I repeated. "And I know that saying sorry isn't gonna fix things but... Please just try to understand."

River let out another breath and shook their head.

"Understand what, Olivia? That you can't even kiss me? I really disgust you that much?"

"No, River. It's not about you. I just... I can't right now, " I let out.

"Look, I get that you aren't in the headspace for a relationship. But you've been leading me on for weeks now." There was this strange anger in their voice. I had never heard them shake that way. "It just... Hurts. I feel used, " they said.

"I'm sorry, River." I knew that apologizing wasn't doing any good, but the words just kept falling out. It felt like 'sorry' was the only thing I knew how to say.

River grabbed their bag and clicked their seatbelt off. "Thanks for the ride," they said, opening the door. "I... I hope you figure out everything, Olivia. I know that it can't be easy."

Right then, I wanted to just say something. Something that would repair everything between us and bring us back to friendship. I wanted to reverse time and never go with them after they found me in the hallway. I wanted to somehow give them a piece of my mind. But, I couldn't do any of those things, so I buried my face in my hands as they departed.

Everything was starting to hit me. River was out of my life, I wasn't over Cleo, and now I have to drive to my empty house. Even with everything that went down, I felt oddly free. It was as if River was a weight I kept in my pocket, getting heavier each day that I lied to myself. And, as they closed their front door, I felt myself get lighter. Relief crashed into me as I drove away and, as selfish as it was, I smiled into the darkness of night. That was until I reached four houses forward.

Cleo's front lawn came into view as I slowed my car. I couldn't peel my eyes from the porch and memories of leaving the house came back to me all at once. Kissing Cleo felt so different from kissing River. Butterflies didn't swarm my stomach when I pressed my lips to River's. I didn't find myself wanting to kiss them more. But kissing Cleo was overwhelming. For weeks afterward, I found myself craving her.

I don't know why I decided right then that I needed to see her, but it clung in my brain like parasite, and all I could think about was Cleo. For once, I didn't stop and write out a pros and cons list. I didn't think it through until my mind felt numb. I just... Knew.

I sucked in a sharp breath as I parked at her curb and began up Cleo Robert's driveway. Each step only made me more impatient. The cold air around me suffocated any doubt I still held. The feeling in my gut grew stronger and stronger as the front door stood before me. I knew then, more than ever, that this was where I was supposed to be and this was what I was supposed to be doing. And before I knew it, my hand was hovering above the wooden panels.

Knock knock knock.

A few seconds and the doorknob twisted, allowing the door to creak open.

Cleo came into view, brows creased in confusion.

"Via? What are you doing here? " she asked, stepping onto the porch.

"I..." was all I could get out. This is stupid.

"Are you alright? What-"

Before she could get out another word, I pulled her toward me and pressed our lips together. Quickly, she pulled away and a startled look adorned her temples.

"Shit, I'm sorry, " I whispered, realizing what exactly I just did. "I just-"

Cleo pulled me back in, kissing me again. This time was longer and desperate. Her lips were needy and left me hungry for more. Gripping Cleo's hair, I swirled my tongue against her's. She tugged at my jeans to pull me in closer as we moved in sync. We weren't nearly close enough but with every inch we grew closer, the hungrier I became for her. I had forgotten how soft her lips were, how contrasting Cleo's lip ring was. The cool steel broke the wariness of both of our lips against one another. Cleo tugged slightly at my bottom lip with her teeth and butterflies returned to my stomach. Every second that our lips separated for us to take a breath was too long. She tugged my waist closer to her, drowning me in pure attraction and desire.

Yeah, this was definitely worth the wait.

A/ N:

Ok! River is out, sadly. I really enjoyed the character but don't fret. I'm still gonna build on them outside of their connection to Olivia romantically. Anyway, this chapter was such a fun write. I loved exploring Via's complications with both interests. And god, I missed Cleo.

Also, since I'm incredibly nosy, comment how you feel about Olivia and Cleo or Olivia and River. I'd love to hear your input. :)