Both Sides | ✓

Chapter 12

Cleo's POV:

* * *

I left Olivia's house in a hurry, not sure if I could stomach seeing her that pissed with me. I fumbled with my car keys and escaped as soon as humanly possible. Olivia completely consumed my thoughts. I made her cry. I promised I wouldn't do that again, but I did. I'm a horrible person.

I hated that Via was upset. She had every right to be, but I wanted to be upset too. I wanted to point fingers at her and tell her that this was her fault, but I couldn't. Because Olivia didn't do anything wrong. I just can't admit to myself that I liked kissing her. So, I hurt her instead.

My mind kept flipping back to everything I had said in the hallway.

"You're just my tutor and that's all you'll ever be."

I knew how to make someone hate me. And I was prepared to push Olivia away. But here I was, driving away from her house because I couldn't block her out.

For the last semester, I saw her life and hated how perfect it was, and even as I saw parts of it crumble away, I couldn't shake that hatred from my mind. Olivia Hansen could kiss a girl and go home to a family that loved her. I had nobody to talk to. I was so wildly alone, and not even she could understand how that felt.

* * *

"Babe, " Andrew said as he plucked my phone from my hands. "We have to talk."

I could barely even look at him. "About what?" I asked, knowing full well what the topic was going to be.

"You said on Saturday that you wanted to fuck me, and we still haven't done anything. What's the deal?"

"I don't know, Andrew. It isn't a big deal."

"No, that's the thing. Ever since then you haven't even kissed me."

I felt a little bit like an actress in his bedroom, leaning over and kissing him as if my lips hadn't touched Olivia's. I was putting on a show, and I think part of Andrew could tell that my heart wasn't into it, because he pulled away faster than I could.

"Thanks," he scoffed.

"What? I did what you asked."

"I shouldn't have to ask for my girlfriend to kiss me. What's wrong with you?"

The last thing I wanted was to fight with him. One more argument and I'd probably snap.

"You're right, " I said, timidly moving closer to him. "I'm sorry. I'll... Be more appreciative."

He hummed in response, kissing my cheek. I could only imagine it was Olivia in his place.

*  *  *

I think the strangest thing about the situation was the fact the Olivia and I still sat beside each other in class. Biology felt almost as it always had, besides the silence. We sat a few inches further than we had before, our eyes stayed on our papers, and our mouths stayed closed.

I knew how my grades would react to my poor choices. Before Olivia, I was failing. Biology, among every other subject, was so far out of my grasp that I might as well have stopped going to school. For a while, I did. But, because of Via, I not only passed, but I understood classes. That was over now, and I had no right to feel reminiscent about it. This was my own fault.

The bell rang, and I hurried to pack up my things so I didn't have to look Olivia in the eye on my way out. She beat me there and stepped outside just in front of me as I squeezed past the other students to fit through the doorframe. Suddenly, River stepped away from where they were leaning against the lockers and approached Via with a smile, grabbing her hand and walking past me. Olivia didn't even look at me as the two rounded the corner, hand in hand.