Both Sides | ✓

Chapter 18

Olivia's POV:

I was ready for winter break to end. I had spent the first few days forcing myself to be busy. If I didn't occupy myself with to-do lists, I'd get too into my head and wouldn't leave my bedroom for days. The only thing I wasn't excited about with school was seeing River. Even the thought of it made my stomach tighten. They hadn't texted me the whole week and I was worried that I upset them. Or, even worse, I worried I hadn't upset them. It would make my life a lot easier if they hated me, quite honestly. And if that's some damning fact meaning I shouldn't be with them, I was fine with that.

It was the first Wednesday into break and I had begun my 3rd book of the week. A lukewarm cup of coffee perfumed into the air, neglected beside me as I read. I expected Cleo to be the one texting when my phone lit up beside me. She had kept up with me ever since sleeping over the other day but, when I turned to the screen, River's name met my eyes.

River: hey

Me: Hey, what's up?

River: idk. i just feel like we left for break kinda weird

Me: Oh? What do you mean?

I knew exactly what they meant. We were slipping, whatever we were. A couple, just friends, whatever. We weren't doing as well as we had been.

River: idk, you followed Cleo into the bathroom

River: i didnt wanna bring it up bc ik u guys have a complicated history, but it felt weird seeing you leave like that ig

I waited a moment before responding, allowing myself to organize my thoughts.

Me: Right, Cleo and I are friends now. I wasn't trying to make it seem like I was choosing her over you or anything... We hang out often, so it was pretty normal.

River: u hang out often? wdm?

I furrowed my brows. Were they actually jealous?

Me: Just like hanging out, idk. We just had a sleepover a few days ago.

River: oh

What does "oh" mean? Why can't they just tell me how they feel?

River: well, do u think I can sleep over soon?

Me: Sure. That sounds fun.

River: how about tonight?

Oh my god. No.

Me: Yeah, you can come over at 5 if you want.

River: cool, see u then <3

I was pathetic.

* * *

My stomach was in knots as I waited for River to show up.

In the time I spent waiting, I deep cleaned the entire house. My hands spent their minutes scrubbing and disinfecting. It was just enough to keep me busy. River would be here any minute and I was nervous, to say the least. There were about a billion things that could go wrong. This sleepover could be painfully awkward and yet, I was hopeful. This might settle some of the issues that had been eating away at me for weeks.

The doorbell sounded from across the hall and I quickly made my way to answer it, stopping beside the mirror to check my appearance. I took in a breath before opening the front door. River stood, holding a tote bag. Their once dark blue hair was now a forest green color. It didn't look terrible.