I wake up uneasy and breathing heavily. Immediately, I sit up covered in sweat, my hair an absolute mess.
Yes,i did put it in a top bun before going to bed.
It wasn't exactly a nightmare.....just a series of... sensations.
It felt like i was drowning, and then falling, suffocating and being stabbed all at once.
Picking up my phone, i check the time.
3am
.....i already hate today.
With a groan, i get out of bed and begrudgingly drag myself into the bathroom.
After taking a quick shower to wash off the sweat, i get dressed in my spandex shorts and long t-shirt.
I quietly make my way down the stairs, purposely avoiding those that creak- the last thing i want right now is to wake anyone up.
I slowly round the corner, heading for the kitchen, when a sound stops me dead in my tracks.
Listening carefully this time around, i'm able to make out what sounds like whimpering.
With a small sigh, i walk further into the kitchen and quickly fill a cup with water.
Sluggishly trudging down the corridor-still tired as hell might i add, i stop when i'm standing right in front of his door.
Quietly, i open the door and sneak in, making sure to shut the door behind me.
The sight of him sweating and writhing in his bed makes my heart ache for him.
I mean as annoying as he can be, he's still a good guy and a good friend, who doesn't deserve all the shit he's going through.
I place the glass of water on the nightstand and crawl into bed next to him. Pulling him closer, i simply wrap my arms around him in a hug.
After a few moments of him still writhing and whimpering incoherent things, i feel him stiffen as he obviously snaps back to reality,his heart beating erratically as he struggles to recover from whatever may have been happening to him......or his family. Seconds later, his shoulders are shaking as he tightens his grip on me.
Wordlessly, i move my face to the side to see him and the sight before me just hurts.
He looks so devastated as the tears keep streaming down his face.
"S-she...they were h-hurting-" he starts to explain but i cut him off.
"Shhh......dont worry about that now. I'm here okay? You have me and the guys, we'll get through this i promise. I need you to relax right now okay? We can talk about whatever happened later....but right now Jake, you need to rest." I say, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he continues to mumble incoherent things,his eyes not focusing on anything in particular.
It's difficult to see him this way, especially since i can relate to what exactly he's feeling right now.......
However, the thing is I have had this going on for a while- many years actually, although, it's so tiring and horrible to have to go through this regularly......in a weird fucked up way, i'm kind of used to it.
"Hey, drink this." I say softly, offering him the glass of water as he continues to clutch my shirt in a daze.
It takes me calling his name twice and eventually tapping him before he snaps out of it.
"Thanks" he says, his voice hoarse as he takes the cup.
He has the cup empty in a mere second. I return the cup to the nightstand as i turn to him.
He's laying on his back with his arms spread as he stares at the ceiling with heavy eyes, as he's obviously still tired.
"How are you so strong Rhea?" He asks after a while, catching me off guard with his question.
"What?" I say, not sure if i heard him right.
He turns his head slightly so he's now looking at me, the dim glow of the light only making his already sad expression look even gloomier.
"how are you so strong Rhea?" he repeats, emphasizing each word.
"I'm not-"
"No no no Rhea. I know what i'm talking about......you've endured these night terrors coupled with panic attacks, depression and other problems for so many years,and still remain strong.....i've only had to put up with the night terrors for a few days and i swear, i'm losing my damn mind......how the hell do you do it?"
"I got used to it." I say, but it comes out sounding like a question.
"You got used to not being able to sleep peacefully? You got used to the horror of seeing yourself or the people you love being hurt badly and not being able to do anything? How can someone ever get used to that?" He asks softly, now sitting up.
I let out a sigh and take a few seconds to think.
"I got used to not being like every other person. I eased up on the fact that i don't have a normal life....and i probably never will. The fact that i say i got used to it, doesn't mean its not as painful, tiring and frustrating...... it's just.....now, when i wake up in the middle of the night screaming my head off and having a panic attack...i kind of know how to handle it, i know what to do to calm down and if i can't compose myself fast enough i have friends and family who are willing to get me through it. Knowing i have at least one of you guys,my dad or brother in the room next door is enough to make me even try to sleep at night. It doesn't get easier....you just have to find a way to cope and be willing to receive help from those around you." I say.
He lets out a deep breath as he stares at me for a moment before pulling me into a hug.
"Thank you Rhea....for everything." He says.
"Don't sweat it. Now go to bed, we have a long day ahead of us...seeing as we now have a new lead." I say with a small smile.
Once he's settled in bed, i grab the cup and head out, making sure to shut the door quietly behind me.
I make my way to the kitchen and start to prepare myself a mug of hot chocolate.
Right before i place the pot on the stove, i hear voices coming from the basement.
No I'm not losing my mind.......the guys are probably still working down there.
And so i prepare three additional mugs,topping them all off with marshmallows.
I place them all on a small round tray and head on downstairs.
"I smell heaven..." Dray says, sniffing the air.
"Hey..." i greet, announcing my presence in the process.
"You made us hot chocolate?" Dray asks with a smile.
"No. All four mugs of hot chocolate are for me......stupid." i say sarcastically, causing Drenad and Shawn to chuckle.
Hours ago, after we opened the parcel they immediately got to work as they struggled to dig up some sort of info.
After handing Dray and Drenad a mug each, i take the other two off the tray.
Sitting next to Shawn, i give him one -which he takes with a grateful smile, and i take the other.
"Couldn't sleep?" He asks softly, his voice husky from how tired he is.
"Yeah....." i say trailing off as he immediately wraps his arm around my shoulder and pulls me in, placing a kiss to my forehead.
"The two of you sicken me." Dray says, with a mock glare.
"And why is that?" Shawn asks.
"I mean....would it kill you to tone the whole lovey dovey thing down a notch?"he asks.
"Says the guy that's always trying to eat Mira's lips off her face......you're in no position to complain buddy." I say, causing his cheeks to take up a light shade of pink.
The dude really likes her.
"So....what have you got?" I ask, as i stare at the screen of his laptop.
"Nothing so far. I got tired of reading the print over and over again, so i scanned it. Now, i've been analysing the words, phrases, text, material...everything just to find another clue." Shawn explains.
"And what exactly are we hoping to find?" I ask, looking up at the other two.
"Well, a location will be pretty helpful right now, but i wouldn't mind a signature, initials or quote....i could easily use one of these to find whoever is behind all this bullshit." Drenad says as he continues to type away furiously.
"You really think you can find out any of that by simply scanning the words written in the card?"
Yes, a card.
"Of course i can Rhea." Drenad says
Inside the parcel was a stack of cards....
We don't know what or who the words on the cards are about, we don't know who this parcel is actually meant for, we don't know if this has anything to do with Jake's family.
Basically, we still don't know anything!
The damn parcel wasn't addressed from or to anyone and of course there were no instructions or directions whatsoever.
There was nothing significant attached to the card.....and that makes me so angry!
Anyway, the guys have been working tirelessly to see if there is some sort of coded statement or hidden location.
Basically, we are all counting on this to work.
Sadly, if it doesn't work we'll be back to square one.....and i don't think any of us are ready for that.
The hours go by as they keep scanning the words imprinted on the card.
I however, keep myself busy by manually analysing the words on the card.
So far, i haven't come up with anything other than being able to identify it as a poem.
I want to believe there is a link between the words, but i can't quite piece it together.
Giving in to frustration, i look up from my notepad....
Dray and Drenad are literally passed out in their seats.
Turning to my side where Shawn is seated, i have to hold back a snort as he visibly struggles to keep his eyes open.
"Hey, i think you should take a break." I say, as i lightly tap his arm.
"What?" He asks sleepily as his eyes snap open.
" you need to sleep." I state as i get off the couch, giving him space to lay down.
"Yeah...just give me a second." He says as he continues to type.
I walk towards the corner of the room and grab the blankets.
Once i have Drenad and Dray all comfy with blankets and pillows i return to Shawn.
"You really need to take a break Shawn."
"I know, i just want to set this up so it can keep running while i sleep." He says softly as he lets out a yawn.
Minutes later, he gently sets his laptop down on the coffee table.
Once he's done clearing the pieces of paper off the couch he lays down, obviously exhausted.
"Goodnight." I say as i cover him with the blanket.
I reach down for my note pad, ready to get back to work in my room.
"Stay.." He says, reaching out for my hand.
"I need to get back to work."
"No you need to rest. You barely slept, i'm not going to let you work yourself out Rhea." He says as he tugs on my hand.
" The couch isn't big enough for the two of us." I say with a chuckle.
"We'll make it work." He replies with a small smile as he holds up the blanket for me.
With a sigh i give in.
After a lot of struggling and wiggling about, i finally find a comfortable position which is basically laying on top of him.
Don't judge me, he isn't complaining.
"Goodnight." I say lightly.
"It's actually morning" he corrects with a small chuckle.
"Shut up Shawn."
A few moments go by before i realise how tired i am and begin to drift off as the rhythmical thudding of Shawn's heart lulls me to sleep.
******************************************
*BEEP BEEP BEEP*
I wake up with a start, cursing out the screeching alarm that was obviously made in hell.
"What the hell!?" Dray groans, voicing my irritation.
I try to sit up, but Shawn's arm only tightens.
"Don't go.." he whines sleepily.
"Let go of me you baby, i have to get rid of that thing before my head explodes."
He takes a few seconds to think it over before his grip on me loosens enough for me to slip off him.
Now standing, i look around in an attempt to find the alarm clock.
Moving towards the coffee table i realise it's actually Shawn's laptop.
"Shawn......" i say, staring at the laptop in confusion as random numbers and letters flash across the screen.
"Hmnn" he says, rolling over.
"Shawn, you need to get up." I say.
"Two more minutes." He says, snuggling further into his pillow.
"Shawn get up, something's wrong with your laptop!"
He immediately jumps off the couch.
"What-what's wrong with my laptop?" He asks in panic.
"You tell me." I say, pointing at the said laptop.
He picks it up and walks towards the pool table in the far corner.
Setting it down gently, he grabs a chair.
Once he's settled, he starts typing.
"Oh thank God. It's done analysing the print of the card." He explains.
"Okay and what's the result?" I ask eager to find out
"Just give me a second." He says.
Moments go by before a plain tab pops up and a string of numbers and symbols appear .
"Is that the result?" I ask
"Yes.....i think so."
"Guys, get down here!!" I scream causing them to wake up.
They groan and curse at me, but in the end they show up.
Dray is still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes and Drenad looks like he's about ready to kill someone as the others trudge down the stairs, clearly unhappy.
"Stop pouting and get over here, the results from Shawn's analysis are ready."
That wakes them.
"What did you get?" Jake asks.
"I'm not sure. It's really just a string of numbers and symbols."he explains.
"Is there a pattern in the arrangement of numbers...maybe we should start from there." Freya suggests.
What seems like hours go by as we keep trying to crack it.
"Wait a second." I say, as my eyes scan the page, assessing the possibility that i just may be right.
"I know that look.....you're on to something. What is it?" Dray asks.
"Give me the marker." I say as i move towards the small white board we set up on the wall.
I write it down and then turn to face them.
"I think they're coordinates."
"What?" Mira asks.
"I think we got the coordinates to some location." I explain.
"How?....from what i know, coordinates don't look like that." Ace says.
"Look closely. The first symbol kind of looks like an 'N' ". I explain.
"As in North?" Jeff asks.
"Yeah.......that means the second will be a 'W' " Dray says.
"For west".Drenad adds.
"Shawn, please pull up the map and relate the coordinates to it. Let's see if we can pin point the exact spot." I say.
He immediately pulls up the map on his laptop and gets to work.
Within seconds a distorted image pops up.
"Maybe you should zoom in" Freya suggests.
And so he does just that.
"Done."
"Wow. That's alot of green" Ace points out.
"So we're talking, somewhere in the middle of the woods?" Jake asks.
"That's pretty possible. Seeing as we're dealing with wanted criminals" Drenad says.
"Can we possibly get a clearer picture?" I ask Shawn.
"Give me a minute." He says as him and Drenad work to produce a more accurate image.
In the mean time, i grab the card and pick up from where i last stopped.
You know when you're thinking so hard about a word or the answer to a particular question......you know you know the answer......you know the answer. It's just right there floating about in your head, waiting for you to grab it.
But then you can't quite put your finger on it?
Yeah.....that's what i'm going through right now.
Shawn lets out a loud whistle that grabs my attention.
"What?" I ask, moving towards him.
"Take a look at this." He says , pointing at the screen.
Moments go by as i keep staring at the screen.
"So?" He says, waiting for a reaction.
"Uhm....do you mind telling me what i'm supposed to be looking at?" I say sheepishly.
"Ugh....okay, you see this?" He asks with wild hand gestures.
"Yes i see that but-"
"Shh.....this right here, is a clearing right in the middle of all that green- the woods. Now you see this?" He asks, pointing at a little white dot.
"Yes i see that"
"That....is a castle." He says, leaning back in his seat like he just made the biggest discovery.
We all stare at him, obviously thinking the same thing.
"The lack of sleep is really getting to you isn't it?.......or did i maybe hit you while we were sleeping and now you have a concussion?" i ask, probably looking as confused as i feel.
"What are you talking about Rhea?" He asks chuckling.
"I should be asking you that. How the hell are you going to look at me right now and tell me that little white dot that looks a whole lot like bird shit is a fricking castle!?"
Still laughing, he sits up.
"Okay, you guys obviously aren't seeing what I'm seeing."
"Would you just show us already?" Mira says.
"Patience little one" he says as he taps a few keys and then leans back in his seat once more.
"Oh wow." Drenad says, obviously seeing what it is that the rest of us dumb ducks can't.
"Can one of you shrimps explain what's going on!?" I ask already irritated by the whole situation.
"It's literally right there Rhea...listen, i'm going to have to look for a way to get a clearer image of this area later, this is as far as i can zoom in on the map. But right now i highlighted the white dot-the castle, and it's details popped up. Read the small print at the bottom of the map." He says .
Obviously, i do as he says.
Squinting, i read the tiny print at the bottom of the map.
"Holy shit!" I yell, staring at the words in front of me.
"Twenty five acres!?" I ask, amazed.
"Yes, this shit is one large castle." Shawn says.
"So wait......now we have a castle, built in the middle of the woods. Is there anything else close to that area that can help us out? Because this doesn't quite relate to the card". Dray asks.
"The only thing relatively close to this area is a sea dock." Shawn says.
"Does it have a name or something?" I ask, picking up the card in hopes of finally cracking the poem.
"Uhhh......yeah, it's originally called the clarence dock." He explains.
"Clarence dock? That literally has nothing to do with this stupid card!" I yell out in frustration.
This whole sherlock holmes game we have going on here is getting on my last nerve.
With my face in my hands, i take in a deep breath to relax myself and then let it all out.
"Relax chica, we'll figure it out" Jamie says with his hand on my back.
A few minutes go by before i compose myself.
"I'm sorry......here i am freaking out, when I'm supposed to be helping jake." I apologize.
"Hey, you are helping me out......as a matter of fact, you guys are my only help at this point. It's absolutely normal for you to get frustrated, you've put your lives on hold for me and i really do appreciate it all." Jake says solemnly.
And so we keep working, just like the past few days, the hours fly by without a care in the world that we are trying to solve a mystery.
"You know what.....i want to know more about this dock." I say.
"Why the dock though?" Dray asks.
"That's the closest thing to the castle that has a name, it's really the only clue we have to finally relate the location to the card." I explain.
"Okay then..." Shawn says as he types in the name of the dock.
"Here you go" he says, turning the laptop so i can get a better view.
"Okay.............blah blah blah blah, Clarence dock is a state owned dock that has been abandoned for a little over thirty eight years for reasons unknown to the public."i read out.
"Hey, check that out." Jamie instructs, pointing at a search option.
Popular nicknames of the clarence dock.
Giving in to curiosity, i obey.
"Over the years, the clarence dock has been given multiple nicknames due to it's abandoned state and rumors of it being haunted. These nicknames include, death dock, the haunted dock and so on. However, the clarence dock is well known for it's nickname 'dark abyss' ." Jamie reads.
"Wait a damn second.....'with the heart falling into a dark abyss,terror creeping down the spine....' ". I read out the line as realisation dawns on me.
Grabbing the marker, i turn to the white board.
I write out 'dark abyss' and then circle it.
"Okay, it seems the poem written on this card is in some way supposed to explain the location and probably even a purpose...." i say.
"Alright, we've taken a step forward. Now, what is this card supposed to lead us too......is it some sort of coded invitation?" Mira asks, deep in thought with furrowed eyebrows.
"That is indeed a possibility." Drenad answers, setting off a whirlwind of thoughts in me.
Invitation?
Castle, dark abyss, masquerade, card.
'So the darkness of death is our light and the stillness of death our dancing.'
"Darkness, death, dancing, dark abyss, masquerade, trigger." I murmur over and over again, struggling to see the pattern.
"Rhea?"
"Shh.." i say, not wanting my thoughts to be interrupted.
"Castle, death, dancing, darkness, masquerade..." i try again.
Minutes go by as i keep chanting the key words in different sequences as the faint blurry lines that seem to connect them get clearer.
"Darkness, dancing, masquerade, castle,card......."
"Darkness, dancing, masquerade, castle, card.....'unable to see his face' ".
" 'unable to see his face'......" i repeat as i feel the words connect.
Suddenly it all clicks and i'm left standing with eyes as wide as saucers.
"I think i just got it."
"What?" They all ask.
And so i turn back to the board and begin to write.
'Masquerade' ='unable to see his face'~Mask
Dancing= party.
Darkness=night
Card= invitation
Castle=location
'MASQUERADE BALL'
"It's a masquerade ball." I say overwhelmed with relief as it all seems to make sense now.
No one speaks.
They're all just quiet as they let my words set in.
"Rhea.......you're a fucking genius!" Jake yells as he lifts me off my feet in a bear hug.
"Okay okay, put me down" i instruct in between laughs.
He sets me down, relief and excitement written all over him.
"That was impressive." Drenad commends with a smile and a nod.
"Thanks....but you all had a major role to play"
"Oh quit being humble, you just cracked a whole mystery!"Mira yells playfully.
"She's right. That was some bad ass detective shit" Freya adds.
This goes on for a while before Jamie's phone interrupts.
One look at the caller id and his signature smirk appears.
"Hello" he says, regarding the person on the other end.
Whatever the person says makes him smile even more.
"Thanks man." He says with a toothy grin.
"Who was that?" I ask, once the call is ended.
"A friend" he says still smilling, his hands on his hips in a daring stance.
"That's a lie. We're your only friends." I say with my arms folded across my chest.
"Keep telling yourself that chica." He says.
"....but since you're so curious, i'm expecting a shipment and it just arrived." He says smugly.
"Do i even want to know what it is?" I ask, unsure of what he's up to now.
"Either way, you'll be finding out soon."
"So what's the next step? I mean, now that we know it's a masquerade ball......what do we do?" Freya asks visibly excited.
"I'm going to start shopping for your clothes and what not." Jamie says still staring at his phone as he types speedily.
"I guess that means i have to start shopping for weapons and what not." Dray says cheekily.
"I'll have to make some calls. Oh and Shawn, could you please send me the satellite blueprint of the castle?" I ask.
" right on it." He answers with a wink.
"I think it's only proper that we all resume training first thing after school tomorrow." Ace suggests, earning a glare from Miranda.
"We don't even know what day this ball is being held" Jeff points out.
"We'll find out." Drenad, Dray and I say simultaneously as we make our way up the basement stairs.
And so once again the day goes by while we continue to work our asses off.
I'm cooped up in my room, analysing the satellite blueprint of the castle.
Dray keeps walking in and out of the house with heavy duffle bags.
I don't know what's in those bags but from the deranged smile on his face, my best guess is guns.
I have a thing for knives, daggers, blades.....any razor and Dray has a thing for guns.
In the last couple of hours Shawn and Drenad have set up more high-tech computers in my basement.
We haven't seen or heard from Jamie since he left. Hopefully that's a good thing.
The others have been busy doing anything they can.
It's almost eight o'clock at night when the sound of the front door closing echos throughout the house.
I hear low muffled voices and i'm almost certain i hear my dad's voice.
It's been so long since i last saw more than a glimpse of him that it almost seems strange to have him home this early.
He climbs up the steps with heavy thuds and i catch myself hoping he'd come check on me like he used to do.
I smile at the thought of him coming into my room with a tub of ice cream in hand as he asks if i want to order pizza or chinese take out for movie night.
Of course, my smile is wiped off my face as the sound of his door being slammed shut reminds me of my reality.
I let out a sigh as i struggle to get back to work.
"I'd probably go check on him later" i think to myself.
Truthfully, after an intense mental argument i'm standing in front of his office with my hand on the door knob.
"Here goes nothing" i murmur as i turn the door knob to let myself in.
Just as expected, my heart drops to my stomach at the sight of his pale skin, blood shot eyes and over all sickly look.
He looks up from the shit load of papers on his table and stares at me.
"Hey sweetie." He says as he visibly struggles to hold his fake smile.
"Hey dad" i say, not bothering to fake a smile of my own.
"How are you?" He asks as he sets his pen down and leans back in his chair.
How am i?
Sad
Tired
Frustrated
Angry
.....scared
But of course i go for the typical answer.
The one we use even at our lowest points.
The one we use when we don't care to share how we're really feeling.
"I'm fine dad. I-i just wanted to see how you were doing....and if you maybe needed something." I say, suddenly feeling under alot of pressure.
"Oh.....well, i don't need anything right now. And I'm doing just fine....just a little bit busy"
Yeah right...
"Okay then...." i say with a nod.
I'm just about ready to leave when he shuts his eyes and lets out a sigh.
Such a small sound to make.
A tiny insignificant act that just seems to bring to light how unwell he actually is. He literally looks like he has the weight of the world crushing him.
He pushes his seat back and starts walking towards me.
Once he's standing infront of me, he just stares at the ground.
Seconds tick away until he surprises me by pulling me into a hug.
I instantly wrap my arms around him, desperately suppressing the urge to cry.
As much as i love his hugs, at this very moment it seems he needs it way more than i do as he literally collapses into the hug.
A battle of emotions rages on in me as we stand there just holding each other.
"Rhea......you know i love you right?" He asks as he pulls away.
"Dad-"
"Rhea, please just answer the question." He says, almost sounding desperate.
"Yes, of course! You're my dad, i know you love me." I say as the tears start fighting their way up.
I can't possibly put into words how scared i am right now.
"Sweetie.......you are my world. I love you more than life itself and i would never want to hurt you. I know i haven't been around the last couple of days and i know you're scared, heck i'm scared! I just need you to understand that i don't want to involve you in the mess of my life. It's not about me not trusting you, it's about me loving you too much to put you in that situation.........I swear I have it in control, in a few more days i'll be fine and it will all go back to normal. Then, maybe i'd be able to tell you and then we'll laugh about it..... Please, just try to understand....trust me."
It was hard enough to fight back the tears.......but the crack in his voice as he said that was literally the final blow.
A vice like grip settles on my chest as my breathing gets laboured.
He pulls me in and plants a lingering kiss on my forehead before he returns to his seat.
"You're busy worrying about my safety, when all i really need is for you to be safe. If anything happens to you dad, i won't be able to handle it." I say before i take a deep breath and walk out of his office, not bothering to wait for his reaction.
I don't know how i make it out of his office without falling but in no time I'm standing outside my bedroom, counting to ten as my chest and throat seems to constrict with each breath.
I feel the panic rising in me as it becomes obvious that fear won the battle.
His words keep running through my mind and i just know that I'm in for a rough night.
I step into my room, struggling to get enough air to my lungs as my heart continues to pound harshly against my rib cage.
"Hey, Jamie isn't back yet and the others have gone to bed, i just thought you'd be ready to take a br-" he stops abruptly once he sees me.
I lean against the door, my eyes brimming with tears as the panic attack intensifies.
"Rhea? Hey,it's okay...breathe." Shawn says, immediately realising I'm having a panic attack.
He quickly makes his way over to me,setting the things in his hand on the floor.
"Look at me, baby i need you to breathe."he says softly as he pulls me towards himself.......did i mention he's shirtless?
"M-my dad...he, i-"
"Shhhh.....you don't need to explain Rhea. It's okay, i understand. We'll talk about it later but right now you need to breathe" he says,urging me to breathe.
His arms secure themselves around me in a hug as he picks me off my feet,clasping my legs around his waist.
He walks towards the bed and sits on it while holding on to me.
"It's okay. Just take it in and let it out." He says.
For the next couple of minutes he goes through the breathing exercises with me as i slowly compose myself.
The after effects of the panic attack hit hard as i suddenly feel exhausted.
I place my head on his shoulder, drifting off to sleep.
"I'm here for you baby girl." he whispers while stroking my hair.