Nirvana
September 1st, the day an even more adventurous life begun. But August was pretty adventurous too, but the bad kind not the good one.
Draco's dad Lucius got sent to Azkaban, Kelly got really sick, and my grandma from my moms side got a heart attack and passed away. I thought 1996 was going to be better than 1995, but I got it all wrong. 1996 was nothing but hell, and I was ready for it to be over.
I sat on my balcony late at night looking up at the full moon. But why was it full if Draco and I weren't together? When the blonde popped in my head I felt tears fill my eyes, when would I get to talk to him again? When would I get to see him again?
The next day when I walked down for breakfast Philip sat outside at our table with a stack of letters. As I approached him his smile only grew bigger making me wonder what the tall curly haired guy was up to.
I sat down across from him and put the napkin on my lap. "Good morning." I said softly, my hair was on my face trying to cover up the red puffy eyes.
"Good morning, I have something for you." Philip said sliding the letters to me, I gave him a confused look and untied the string that held letters together. "I got a hold of the letters Malfoy sent to you, and you can write back if you want. I'll make sure they're not opened." Philip said with excitement in his voice.
I looked up at him and smiled, I wanted to hug him but I thought that it would be weird. "Thank you." I whispered grabbing his hand and rubbing my thumb against the top of it.
I carefully opened the envelope of the first letter and unfolded the beige paper and began to read.
Dear Nirvana,
I hope you're doing ok, my mother told me about you staying with the Marais and I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I promised you I would find a way to fix the whole arranged marriage thing but instead I spent the entire summer messing around, but I promise that I will find another way, and I'm serious about it this time. No more messing around because this is important to me and even more important that you since you're future depends on it.
Bur tell me dear, how are you doing? Physically and mentally! I'm doing fine, I miss you a lot but every night I look up at the sky and hope you're looking at it as well, and the stars. Oh the stars, they remind me so much of you, and it's all because of that sea of stars you have as eyes. I love you, so much, and remember that if I could give you the moon I would, because you deserve it all.
-Yours forever, Draco
Dear Nirvana,
You have no idea how much I miss you. You didn't reply to my last letter and I'm just hoping that maybe it just got lost in the mail and that you're safe. But tell me dear, how are you doing? I'm doing fine, I miss you like always and just sit around the manor doing nothing at all. Times are better when I'm with you, trust me on that one.
Your mom sent me a letter, she asked me to stop sending you letters. What's that all about? You don't have to answer if you don't want to of course, but I'm just really curious. Are you ok? If you're reading this please find a way to answer to this because I have to know dear. I love you to the moon and back.
- Yours forever, Draco
Dear Nirvana,
Are you ignoring me are you just not safe? I really need to know. If you're ignoring me please tell me as as soon as possible, I don't want to keep falling for someone who might not even want to be with me anymore. But even if you aren't ignoring me, please answer. I love to the moon and back.
- Yours forever, Draco
Dear Nirvana,
I need you. You probably saw what happened on the daily prophet, but if you haven't, my father was sent to Azkaban. Time has been really hard for my mother and I, but specially since I don't have you by my side during these horrible times.
How are you doing dear? Do you miss me like I miss you? Because I miss you...A lot. I miss seeing the sea of stars in your eyes, and your lips against mine. Cheesy right? But it's the truth. Write back soon, I love you to the moon and back.
- Yours forever, Draco.
Dear Nirvana,
This is my last letter to you, but I just want you to know that just because I won't be writing me back, it doesn't mean that I don't love and miss you. You and I, we're forever. I love you, you love me and even if it's the end of the world, not even death can separate us.
Even though I won't be writing to you anymore unless I get a letter from you, I still want you to read this everyday, or when you're feeling down, and I want you to talk to this letter. I know, I know, it's stupid, but I just want to be able to check up on you when I'm not there.
Are you ok? Did you eat today? If you haven't please do so. Do you miss me? Because I miss you. You'll always be the one. I love you to the moon and back, always remember that.
- Yours forever, Draco.
A tear rolled down my cheek as I carefully read each of his letters. There were more letters left but I had to skip through a few because I didn't want to cry in front of someone I didn't know.
"Are you ok?" Philip asked, I looked up at him and nodded with a smile. The entire time I thought Draco wasn't writing to me, but it was the other way around. I was the one not writing to him.
I sniffled and wiped away my tears, "Yes, I'm fine." I said taking my eyes off the letters and looking up at him.
I quietly ate my breakfast to try to get done faster, and as soon as I was done I didn't hesitate to go up to my room to reply to every single one of Draco's letters. It was something I was really looking forward to, I was finally going to be able to write back to the man I loved. The man who stole my heart the second I met him.
"Do you think he's gonna write back?" I asked Blaise as I paced back and forth around the room. Blaise chuckled and laid back on my bed, he picked up one of the throw pillows and tossed it up in the air over and over again.
"Well I mean, he did say he was going to write back if you sent him a letter, so most likely."
I sighed and sat down next to him and put my hands over my eyes. I was searching for a better answer, but got nothing but the truth.
"Dinner's in a couple of minutes, are you coming down with me or are you staying up here?" I asked Blaise, he shrugged and turned his head to look at me. I laid back beside him and looked into his eyes. "If you leave the room just make sure you don't do anything that might fright the Marais." I chuckled remembered what happened the week before.
I'd left for lunch and Blaise wandered around the manor, lifting up things and opening doors. One of the servants saw everything happen, but they obviously didn't see Blaise so he quit.
"Fine, but bring me something to eat."
"I will."
———
"Sacred lotus."
"Violet."
"Sacred lotus."
"Both of you stop it."
Philip and I looked at Ehrin and rolled our eyes. "Just do Magnolias or something." Ehrin suggested, Philip and I looked at each other and nodded in agreement.
"Fine." Philip and I said. We'd been struggling so much to get things ready for the wedding, we were complete opposites! Everything would've been so much easier with Draco, I wished he was the one I was supposed to get married to.
Ehrin wrote something done in the wedding planner and we continued to discuss what we were gonna do for the wedding, but everything was so hard, specially the fact that we were just kids. Ehrin was 17, Philip 17, and I'd just turned 16, and it was illegal for Philip and I to get married before 18, but my parents kept on forcing it.
If only I had more time, then would've had the chance to probably marry Draco and run away together like we planned to, but instead I was sitting down in a boring room discussing my wedding ideas with a guy I didn't even want to marry. Why did life have to be so damn difficult?
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I got bangs... and I have 2C hair, AND my mom doesn't know.. HELPPP 😭