The days that followed were filled with gloom and darkness. Prim had spent them beside Orion, holding him, wiping his tears and making sure he remembered to eat and drink. He hadn't spoken much and it wasn't until that morning that he had engaged in a conversation with his aunt and uncle. They had left for the Illyrian War camps after collecting Apollo's body, they no doubt had gone to tell Lyra and Scarlet what happened. Though it was likely they had already heard. Lucien had been shut up in the townhouse since that day, and everyone was keeping to themselves. Prim hadn't even seen Elain but knew that her and her unborn baby were safe and surrounded by Azriel. Prim and Orion were now sat alone in the sitting room, the fire crackling and filling the silent room. Orion's head was in Prim's lap as she gently stroked his hair.
"If you need anything just let me know," Prim whispered, prompting a nod from Orion who stared out at the flames within the fireplace. Prim had helped Orion with a lot the last few days. It was the shock, Feyre had said, and Primrose understood completely. The first night, she had helped him remove his armour and change into suitable nightclothes. Had helped him wash Apollo's blood from his skin and even cleaned off his sword that was stained from the battle. She had tended to his wounds; a slit across his forearm, a broken wrist and other smaller injuries - most having already healed due to his fae DNA. He had almost become reliant on her during his grief, and Prim found she didn't mind it.
The door gently creaked open and Nova walked in, followed by Feyre and Rhys. Nova moved to sit at the end of the sofa besides Orion's feet, Rhys and Feyre taking up the other sofa and joining hands as they sat. Silence had almost become the natural state within the River Estate.
Leaning onto the arm of the sofa, Feyre looked over at her son, "How are you feeling sweetheart?"
Orion shifted in Prim's lap, lifting his head and tilting it slightly to see his mom, mainly to see if it was him she was speaking to. Orion slowly nodded as he laid back down, "Just numb."
"I didn't realise you two were so close," added Rhys, not helping in any way, shape or form. Prim almost felt bad for him, he really was trying to help. Orion said nothing in response, just letting out a heavy sigh instead.
Primrose watched Rhys face drop slightly, watched the tension in Feyre's shoulders and the way Nova was playing sadly with the hem of Orion's trousers. She felt out of place, like she didn't quite qualify as family when there had been a death of a real family member. Apollo was Rhys and Feyre's nephew, and Primrose was a supposed daughter-in-law, but that didn't mean anything when Feyre and Rhys had watched Apollo grow into the young man he was and didn't give Prim a second thought other than the bargain.
"I can go if you need a moment with your family," Prim whispered, knowing that her efforts were useless when everyone in the room could hear her.
Orion brought his arm up and around to wrap around Prim's waist, gently resting his cheek against her thigh as he turned to lay on his side, facing her stomach. "You are my family, Primrose." He whispered, gently letting his eyes close as he settled against her.
Orion wouldn't sleep most nights, and if he did it wouldn't be for long. Prim couldn't count the number of times she had gone to check on him and found him awake or in the midst of a nightmare. His sleep schedule relied on naps throughout the day, there was something about the night that meant Orion just would not sleep. He looked differently physically now too, his skin a little paler and the grey bags under his eyes were permanent residents to his face.
"Was it scary Primrose?"
Prim turned to the soft-spoken girl, watching Nova who had slid up closer to her without realising. Her lips were in a tight but wobbly line, her nails bitten down around her fingertips and a sad look glossing over in her eyes.
"Was what scary, sweetie?" Prim asked, reaching to tuck a piece of hair behind Nova's ear.
"Watching Apollo die..." She whispered, taking Prim's hand in her own, "You were there right?"
"I was, and yes, I didn't know your cousin very well but it was scary, it was very sad too," Prim explained, finally dealing with her trauma. She hadn't quite had the chance to yet, not with caring for Orion and ignoring her own needs.
She had watched someone die. She had tried to stop the bleeding and held their hand as they passed. Apollo was someone she considered a friend, even though she knew so little about him. He made her smile without trying and was such a genuine light that Prim couldn't believe it had been permanently dimmed.
"I miss Apollo," mumbled Nova, sniffing and wiping at the tears that pooled in her eyes, "Whenever I was alone, he would always come to play with me."
Primrose lifted her arm and pulled it around Nova's shoulders, the younger girl shuffling up the sofa so she could rest her head on Prim's shoulder. Prim brushed a kiss to her head, leaning into her comfortingly. Turning her head slightly, Prim looked over to Rhys who had already been looking at her expectantly.
"I didn't realise this war was going to get so serious this soon," She whispered, knowing how naive she sounded.
"No one realises how serious wars are until they arrive," sighed Rhys, his hand resting on Feyre's thigh. To Prim's knowledge, this was now the third war that Rhys had taken part in, maybe even the fourth. She couldn't even imagine it.
"This is going to be bad, isn't it?" asked Prim, hating how her words were quiet and her voice shook.
Rhys cleared his throat, a pain rising in his voice that Primrose had never heard before, "The remaining Illyrian warriors are ready to attack at any moment, they killed one of our own, killed multiple of the Dawn Court from the explosion. This is going to be very bad, Prim."
Primrose looked down at the boy in her lap, looked to his sister at her side, at the little family she had made along the way, "That's what I was afraid of."