Intermediate: You're a good actress
[ 3.24 ]
R Y E N N E A T S T E L L I
『 Year 12 』
I found myself feeling abnormally drained and perhaps it may be because I've been trying to avoid people lately.
I felt dread leaving class, walking through the corridors, and even walking alone around the courtyard.
Being ambushed by a flock of obsessed girls was something that I have become extremely wary of. And it may be because of this that when I saw Xael surrounded by a group of girls, I avoided him.
They formed a wall around him when he left the building, as though I were a threat and I decided to turn a blind eye to him. I felt guilty, but I was thoroughly intimidated by the piercing eyes that bore holes into my body, but of course, those were no match for what would come after.
"Ryn!" Xael called out to me. As he walked over to me, the girls surrounding him made way, though their eyes continued to glare at me with resentment.
I stopped in my tracks and turned with my usual smile, though I found it to be a bit more stiff than usual. I looked up to meet his eyes as the girls surrounding him quickly made way, albeit reluctant.
"Hey, Xael!" I greeted, but I felt a slight chill as I waited for him to arrive at my side. His dark irises stared at me. Betrayal was written on his face as clear as day and I felt my stomach drop.
"I was waiting for you," He lied as he nudged me to start walking. "Didn't you see me?"
I felt my smile freeze as I glanced up to him anxiously.
"You looked busy..." I lied. I couldn't find it in me to look him in the eyes.
"I see..." was all he said. His voice was quiet and I couldn't muster up enough courage to say anything else.
It was only after a while of walking that he finally spoke again.
He asked, "Hey...we are friends, right?"
My feet stopped in its place as I stared at him with my eyes widened—shocked. My stomach felt as though it was sinking even further than it already had and my heart seemed to pause for a moment.
Noticing I had stopped walking, he also stopped as he turned his head and watched me expectantly, waiting for me to answer his question.
"Why would you ask such a question? You're one of my best friends." I tell him honestly, but as I watched his eyes, I felt as though I had said the wrong answer. But it wouldn't make sense for him to want me to say 'no' as well.
"You say that I'm one of your best friends, and yet you've been avoiding me these days. I don't think what you're saying and doing are matching up." Xael's eyes were cold and his voice was hurt, but I was also hurt even though I knew it was my fault for his pain.
I didn't know what to say to him and I could only hang my head low as the feeling of guilt engulfed me.
"...I'm sorry," was all I could manage to say.
I felt as though I was suffocating and overwhelmed. It was getting harder to breathe and I just felt so small. I didn't know how to deal with these emotions and before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face.
I was shocked as I lifted my hand to my cheek and felt the wet tears that continued to flow down without end.
"Why..?" I whispered to myself. I took a look at my hands and I just stared at the tears that continued falling onto them.
Before I knew it, a jacket was pulled over my head and a warm hand grabbed mine and pulled me along.
"Let's go." Xael said.
I could only stare at the back of his head silently as I followed his steps.
"You're a good actress, Ryn."
I was confused by his words, my brows slightly furrowing together, but I waited for him to continue.
"You're good at pretending you're alright when you aren't." Turning his head, Xael's dark irises stared into mine as he asked, "What's wrong?"
I didn't think two simple words could impact me as much as it did. And I wanted to answer him, but the only thing I could do was continue to cry like a child as he led me away and into the intermediate salon where little to no person would be.
I was grateful to him, but I was angry at myself for treating Xael as I had for the past week.
Once again, I said, "I'm sorry, Xael."
He removed the jacket from over my head and fixed my hair with one hand while he wiped my tears with his other. He just smiled reassuringly at me as he patted my messy hair down.
"I'm sure you have your reasons." He tells me as he pulled out a handkerchief and wiped the new formed tears that fell from my eyes. "I'll be waiting for them."
『 17 June x029 』
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Author's note:
Last and long awaited update! Sorry I've been trying to work this chapter out and it took longer than expected, but as I said before, this is the last update for a while.
Also, this chapter took an unexpected turn but I hope you guys liked it. I was pleasantly surprised by myself and at the same time, I think this chapter kind of resonated with me quite a bit.
Question:
I've been trying to work on my discord server a bit more, but I'm still trying to figure out the bot things. I think I will open it to the public now despite the lack of bots and stickers (cause I'm a broke bee) so please comment if you would like to be part of the discord and I will private message you an invite! I will try to interact as much as I can!
11.10.2020