Welll......as most of you know by now....I've been having major issues with this damn website all day....the chapter before this, numero 46, is MIA for the millionth time today, but I'm done trying, at least for today.
So here's the new one....it'll probably disappear too, but hopefully not!
Thanks for reading guys! <3
Tyler's P.O.V: (About 1 Month Later)
“Well, hello there, Mr. Carlile,” I said with a goofy grin as Austin’s face appeared on my computer screen. He smiled back at me, my heart fluttering as his pearly white’s gleamed.
“Hey, baby. God, I miss you so much,” He responded, my smile widening. “How is my beautiful fiancée doing?” Those words, every time he said them my heart skipped a beat. It still didn’t seem real, almost like it was too good to be true, but it was, I had the ring to prove it.
“I’m doing pretty great,” I admitted; it was true. School was going fantastic. The new semester had started without a hitch, and I was really enjoying my classes, even more than I had last semester, though I’m pretty sure that had to do with the fact that, finally, I was truly happy and allowing myself to enjoy them. “What about you? How was the show last night? I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to you.” I pouted and he let out a small laugh, the sound making my heart swell.
His face lit up at the mention of the concert. The band had been on tour for several weeks now, and though I was bummed that I wasn’t able to go along this time, I always made sure to get the full recap from Austin every night. “It was amazing as always. There were so many kids it was insane. I was up all night reading all of their letters. It still baffles me what some of these kids have to go through, and having them tell me that I’ve saved them, that my music has made them stop hurting themselves or wanting to kill themselves….it just seems unreal, you know? Like, they saved my life, they still do.”
Listening to Austin talk about his fans was incredible. The love he has for them, it’s almost unexplainable. The fact that he loves them so much, treats them like they are his family, it only makes me love him that much more. “You’re pretty amazing, you know that?” I bit down on my bottom lip and gave him a smirk. He smiled back at me, his eyes seeming to sparkle.
“You have no idea how much I wish you were here right now.”
“I know, baby, me too. It feels so weird not having you around; it’s too quiet. It feels so strange having to wake up alone again. Stupid school! Get’s in the way of everything!” I exclaimed dramatically, eliciting a laugh from Austin.
“Speaking of school, how were your classes today? What did you do? Tell me everything!” He batted his eyelashes at me, his voice high pitched and excited, and I shook my head at his silliness.
“I had my vocal workshop today. I love it; I feel like it’s actually helping, like it’s really making me a better singer. And the professor, Professor Jacobsen, he’s incredible. It seems like he really cares, more than most of my instructors. He really cares about all of us, about helping us get to where we want to be. I get the feeling that it’s more than a job for him.” I paused my excited chatter, gauging Austin’s reaction, but he didn’t say anything, he was only smiling, nodding along with my words as I spoke. “It’s just – I’m finally happy, with everything. Being here, getting to sing and write music everyday; I know it’s not the same, but now I kind of understand why you love it so much.”
“I’m so happy for you, baby. And I’m so glad that you’re happy; that’s all that matters to me. As long as you’re happy, then so I am,” he responded sweetly. I bit down on my bottom lip, and he arched an eyebrow at me. “What?” he questioned with a small chuckle.
“Don’t say things like that to me when you aren’t here!” I whined. He furrowed his brow, still somewhat confused, and I gave him a look, emphasizing my words; eventually he figured it out, an evil grin gracing his gorgeous face.
“And why not?” He was pushing it now; he knew what I was talking about, but he always liked to push my buttons.
“Because! You make me all hot and bothered. So quit it.” He laughed again, shooting me a wink, and I rolled my eyes.
“We could always….” he started, but I cut him off.
“No!” I squealed. “Are you kidding me? Someone could walk in at any minute, and I’m not going to risk the chance of one of them seeing me naked.”
“Babeee,” he whined, “no one will see, I promise!” He flashed me a huge grin, trying his best to make me change my mind.
“No. Not now. And I’m pretty sure you have a show to get to anyway,” I said with a giggle as he groaned dramatically, making me laugh harder.
“Ugh, fine. I’ll call you after the show, alright?” I opened my mouth to respond but was cut off as the curtain to Austin’s bunk flung open, Alan shoving his face in front of the camera.
“Bye Tyler! Love you!” With that he was gone, his ginger hair disappearing from view.
“See! That right there is why I won’t have Skype sex with you,” I remarked; he shrugged his shoulders in understanding, letting out a small laugh. “I love you. Play a good show. Have fun, and drink lots of water. And take your pills!”
“Yeah, yeah I know,” he muttered. “I love you too. I’ll call you in a bit.” I blew him a kiss towards the screen and waved goodbye, disconnecting the call and shutting my laptop.
The apartment was quiet, too quiet. Millie was out, doing what I wasn’t sure, but I couldn’t take the silence, it was suffocating. I shrugged on my coat and grabbed my purse and my keys before leaving the stuffy apartment. The night air was chilly, the wind whipping through my hair, a shiver coursing through my body as I bounded down the sidewalk. My destination wasn’t far, only a few short blocks from the apartment, and I picked up my pace as I walked, passing a few strangers upon occasion. The Starbucks came into view, and I ducked inside, the heat warming my frozen body, the pink quickly disappearing from my cheeks. I ordered a latte and a muffin, waiting in the corner of the nearly deserted coffee shop until my drink was ready.
“Ms. Rhodes, what a pleasant surprise.” The sound of my name startled me, and I turned to find the source of the voice, my eyes scanning the room until they fell upon the familiar face. I cracked a smile, shoving my hands in the pockets of my jacket and rocking back and forth on the balls of my feet.
“Profe-“ he shot me a glare and I snickered. “I mean, Matt. Didn’t expect to see you here at this time of the night.”
“Well, I could say the same for you as well, Tyler.” He took his coffee from the barista and sipped from it generously.
“Yeah, well, here I am!” I responded with a slight laugh. We made small talk as I continued to wait, and he invited me to sit with him while we drank our coffee. I agreed, not like I had anything else to do anyway, and it was always good to get on a teacher’s good side, right?
“So are you enjoying your classes this semester?” He questioned as he took a seat across from me at the small table. I sipped from my cup and nodded.
“Yeah, it’s going great so far. Much better than last semester,” I responded and he furrowed his brow.
“May I ask why?”
“Last year was just – I’m in a better place now, that’s all.” I didn’t want to elaborate, I wasn’t looking for that kind of a friendship with him, he was my teacher after all. I didn’t see it as appropriate to dump all of my relationship woes on him, nor did I really want him to know that much about me.
“Does that have anything to do with it?” He asked, nodding towards my hand that was clutching my cup, the hand where my new diamond ring sat atop my finger. I swallowed, the warm liquid cascading down my throat, coating my belly, heating my insides; I suddenly felt uncomfortable, but nodded, shrugging him off. He seemed a little too friendly, a little too curious, but maybe I was reading too much into it. Rising from the table I shot him a soft smile.
“I have to get going; it’s getting late, but thanks for this, Matt.”
“Have a good night. Be safe. I’ll see you in class tomorrow, Ms. Rhodes.” I nodded, giving him a small wave and another smile before shuffling back out into the cold. I wandered back through the streets, back to the apartment, back into the warmth, all the while my mind occupied with thoughts of school, music, and most of all – Austin, my wonderful, amazing fiancé who I missed terribly.
-------------------------------------------------------
I proudly sang the last lines of the song I had been working on, belting out the final note, allowing it to hang in the air. The small group of classmates applauded and I cracked a shy smile, whispering a thank you before taking my seat once again. “Nice job, Tyler. That was fantastic. All right everyone, that’s it for today. I’ll see you on Friday, and Sydney will be up next. Have a good day everyone.” We all rose from our chairs, the room filled with the sounds of everyone gathering their books and bags, shoes shuffling across the carpeted floor. “Tyler, can I talk to you in my office for a moment?” Matt questioned, and I paused, turning around and nodding my head in agreement.
“Yeah, sure, is everything okay?” He joined me at my side and led me down the hallway to his office, unlocking the door and motioning me in, closing the door behind us. Sitting in a chair across from his desk, I crossed my legs, a little nervous and apprehensive, not sure what this could be about. I watched as he took a seat on the edge of the desk, almost directly in front of me, not much space separating us.
“I just wanted to take a moment to tell you how incredibly talented you are, Tyler. You’re voice is phenomenal – it’s something, as an instructor, I’ve never heard before. There is something about it that makes you stand out from everyone else, that sets you apart from the mainstream. It’s a great gift to have.” I gave him a gracious smile. “Wow, Matt, thank you. That means a lot coming from you.”
“I think you definitely have a place in the music business, and soon. You have it all, everything that they look for.” He scooted a little closer to me, and I coughed, trying to signal that he was a little too close for comfort. “You can sing, write, play. I’m sure you can even dance, too, am I right?” He smirked and I let out an uncomfortable laugh. “And most importantly, you have the looks. You’re gorgeous.”
“Um, thanks?” I muttered, quite unsure of how to respond. I didn’t like his comment, not at all. It didn’t seem anywhere near appropriate. “
But you know that. You don’t need me telling you how hot you are.”
I scooted my chair back; this had gone too far. It’s possible that I was over thinking it, that he was just trying to be nice, but either way I didn’t like it, I wasn’t comfortable here, with him, in this tiny enclosed space. I stood swiftly from the chair, ready to make my escape. “Um, I, uh, have to get to work, but, um, thanks and I’ll see you in class on Friday.” I struggled with my words, fumbling over them as I tried to think of anything, any excuse to get me out of here. I took three swift strides towards the door, reaching for the handle, but I never grabbed it. Matt rose from his chair and closed the gap between us quickly, his hand reaching out and planting firmly against the door, keeping me from opening it. My heart started to race; I was trapped, stuck, with no way out.
“I don’t think so, Ms. Rhodes,” he slurred in my ear. He grasped my arm tightly in his hand, shoving my back up against the door. I let out a small whimper as my head collided with the wood, my eyes wide in fear, my body trembling.
“What-what are you doing?” That was all I could muster, those four horribly-spoken words. For the first time in a long time I was scared. This was all too reminiscent of a time so long ago, a time where I was shoved against a wall, trapped, unable to defend myself. That day, the look in Kody’s eyes, it was pure anger, but here today, with Professor Jacobsen, it wasn’t anger, no, it was lust, pure lust.
He ran his hand down my arm, his fingers tracing my skin, making their way down, gracing the hemline of my t-shirt. I attempted to swallow the lump that was forming in my throat, but it wouldn’t budge. I tensed as his fingertips grazed the skin below my shirt, a smile making its way across his face. I was frozen in time, unable to move, unable to think, unable to scream, nothing.
The first tear began to fall as he leaned in, pressing his lips against mine. I pulled my lips in, trying to keep them away from him. He moved his lips down my jaw line towards my neck; I snapped back to reality and began to struggle, the best I could, pushing at him, shoving him, trying everything to get out from under his hold.
But once again I wasn’t strong enough; I was defenseless, unable to fight for myself. The tears began to fall like rain, sliding down my cheeks as he sucked at my neck. In a moment of strength I let out a blood-curdling scream; my voice rang through the small office, but not for long before his hand reached up and clasped over my mouth, silencing me for good.
“Don’t pretend that you don’t want this. I see how you smile at me. I’m just giving you what you want, Ms. Rhodes. Sit back and enjoy.”
I couldn’t believe this was really happening; what had I ever done to deserve this? I fought, I fought really hard, as hard as I possibly could, but it wasn’t enough. It reached a point when there was nothing else I could do but cry. So I did, I cried through the whole thing. I don’t know how long it lasted in reality, but it felt like an eternity, like it would never end, the pain, the misery, the torture.
It finally did, but I couldn’t move. I was numb, my body, my mind. I didn’t know what to think or feel. I felt disgusting, dirty, helpless, alone.
I felt like nothing.