Dearest Diary,
I've never been so excited and nervous and just a ball of feelings all at once. Sure, I've gone on missions that forced me to hold the fate of half the universe in my hands, but this is something I've never done... and something I'll never do again.
It feels like I've waited forever to get here, too, even though it's only been about a hundred years, give or take... though, I suppose most people don't even live that long, so it's just as well.
This event, too, feels like it could all go terribly wrong in an instant, though I hope it doesn't. Bucky and I have spent months on end worth of energy on all the proper preparations for this, down to the very last detail, and we don't want it to go wrong.
That's why we requested a little help from someone that knows us from way back.
—————
"My God, he really did it," I said, as a beautiful as ever Peggy Carter wake through the door in an incredible black dress.
"Mmm, yes, Howard's son truly did become as intelligent as I expected him to," she commented, hugging me. "And, I'm honored that you sent him to get me. The simple fact that you both wanted me here today, all these years later, is- I am truly grateful."
"I could never forget about you, you know that," I looked at her longingly. "I've missed you, Peggy, really. All these years have gone by with only Bucky as a familiar face."
"At least you had one another," she replied in her refined British accent.
"That's all we needed," I said, thinking back upon all the times it had been just us.
"Well, when Tony contacted me a few months ago regarding this event and regarding the whole time travel thing... I was astonished," she described. "I didn't tell anyone, as requested. My husband believes me to be in the bathroom taking a shower. Tony said he would return me to that exact moment in which I'd left, so it would be no issue at all."
"He's right," I assured her. "Time travel is a wonderful thing. Saved the world, even."
"So I've heard," she answered. "Well, I've prepared for this as much as I've been asked, and it's truly from the bottom of my heart, as I've grown to love you both... even if I thought you dead until now."
I chuckled. "Well, good thing we're not," I added. "Have you been to see Bucky yet?"
"No, I'll be headed there next," she informed me. "But, it was lovely to have been able to speak with you before the wedding begins. I'll see you both at the altar."
"Yes, you will," I smiled, and she returned with one in bright red lipstick as she walked out.
"Thank you," Sam said to her after she held the door for him as he made his way in.
"Sam," I greeted him. "How's it going in the other room with Bucky?"
"How d'you think?" he returned with a look.
"Is he micromanaging again?" He nodded smugly. "Jeez, it's our wedding day, he needs to relax."
"That's what I told him, but The Winter Soldier doesn't exactly like being told what to do," he came back.
"Did you try-"
"Yes, we sent T'Challa in," he interrupted. "No, it didn't work- that's why I left. I cannot watch that man put his damn tie on again to make it perfect, I can't."
I laughed. "Classic Bucky."
"Yea, I don't know how you live with this guy," he commented.
"I love him for it," I answered.
A knock at the door. "Come in," Sam announced.
Peggy popped her head in. "Just so you're aware, Bucky was being anal, so I fixed it. You're welcome," she smiled and popped back out.
"There's that, then," I told Sam. "Looks like she really can do anything we can do, only better."
"She really is a special kinda woman," he huffed. "She married?"
I sent him a look. "Yes, she's married. She also isn't from around here."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, she kinda lives in the 1950s," I replied with a smirk.
"Psshhh, I knew that," he said, cocky.
I shook my head. "Can you go make sure Peggy helps the women get ready? Oh, and rally together the wedding party, we gotta head down soon."
"You got it, Cap," he saluted me and headed out.
About twenty minutes later, he came back with news that the ceremony was about to begin, so we headed downstairs and outside the building to cross the street over to the Brooklyn Bridge Park.
I was met with all my friends surrounding me as part of the wedding party- everyone but Bucky, who was waiting at the other end.
Everyone was paired with someone from the other groom's inter-gender party. This is all shown in the wedding pamphlet so everyone knows who is who- and everyone is introduced formally:
Wedding Party
Grooms
Steven Grant Rogers
James Buchanan Barnes
Best Man
Samuel Thomas Wilson
Steven's Groomsmen and Women
Wanda Marya Maximoff
Thor Odinson
Anthony Edward Stark
Clint Francis Barton
James Rupert Rhodes
Best Woman
Natalia Alianovna Romanova
James' Groomsmen and Women
Peter Benjamin Parker
Robert Bruce Banner
Shuri
Okoye
T'Challa
Flower Girl
Morgan Howard Stark
Ring Bearer
Nathaniel Pietro Barton
Officiant
Margaret Elizabeth Carter
And, so everything began.
It started with, after all the guests are seated, Bucky's party coming down the aisle. Then mine follows. The ring bearer is next, and then the flower girl. God, I'm next.
Everyone stood as I walked out into the open area. They watched as I walked down the aisle after everyone even though I wasn't a bride and was as much a groom as Bucky had been.
I met eyes with Bucky and felt all my nerves suddenly calm out of nowhere. His smile made me smile, and that tear I watched form in his eye made one form in mine.
I finally made it up there and locked eyes with Peggy for a moment as Bucky and I stood facing her before we began. I noticed how perfectly everyone looked around us, in line at either end of Bucky and I, as well as the rows of seats all set up.
Bucky and I wore black tuxedos and blue-grey ties, while the wedding party on both ends had women in full-length dresses that were simple and blue-grey with tulle bottoms and thin shoulder straps as well as men in grey tuxedos with blue-grey bowties to match the women's sashes. Peggy remained in her simple, formal, black dress from earlier.
"Dearly beloved," Peggy began, unscripted. "As we are gathered here this evening at this wonderfully meaningful place, the docks at the Brooklyn Bridge Park where the first kiss of the two men before me was shared back in 1935, we take ourselves out of the usual routines of daily living to witness a unique moment in the rather epic, long-lived lives of Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes and Captain Steven Grant Rogers. Today they join their lives in the union of marriage. To all of their guests, they are happy to share this moment with you. They have known most of you for many years, myself included and among the older of those here. You were there when they were brought back to modern day, you trained and worked alongside them, and you watched them become who they are. Because you are the ones who have supported them and gotten to know them so well, it is only fitting that you are the ones to share this once-in-a-lifetime moment with them. James and Steven are saddened to say that their parents could not be seated in the front row or close to them for the ceremony, but we all here remain at the side of the grooms in their stead. A wedding day is often a day when couples miss family members no longer with them. For Steven and James, there are family members, such as Steven's parents Joseph and Sarah Rogers, as well as James' parents George and Winnifred Barnes as well as his sister, Rebecca, whose memories they hold dear. Even still, Steven and James present themselves to be married today, surrounded by the people they love the most."
I looked at her as she went on, smiling at me in the process. Bucky seemed to do the same, as she was doing such a wonderful job- almost even made me cry when she mentioned my mother.
"As James and Steven prepared for the ceremony part of this wedding celebration, they reflected on what it is that they love about each other," she went on. "For them, this was was the easiest part of planning this wedding," she smiled, looking at Bucky and directing her speech at him next. "James, Steven loves that you blend in so comfortably with these times and with the friends he has made. He sees in you a funny, kind, and strong man. He loves that you support him in all of his endeavors, even when they seem foolish or reckless. He loves that you always want to be close to him, even if you don't show it all the time. You remember such minuscule details of the 70-years-ago-stories he tells. You want to be part of his family and circle of friends. You help him with anything he needs. Most importantly, you are so close that, even when he is at his worst, you have never made him feel like you want anything more but to be close to him," she turned to look at me, next. "Steven, James loves that you are so incredibly passionate about all things you pursue in life. He loves your brain, your smile, and your beauty. He appreciates that you are so caring and forgiving. He loves that he feels he can truly be himself when he's with you. He loves your ability to move forward from things that cannot be changed within his past. He loves that you seem to save him time and time again ever since he's come back to you. He loves your outlook on life. He loves your openness. He just really loves you, even if he doesn't say it every day."
Bucky and I locked eyes, and I could cry. Sure, I knew all those things, but I didn't expect them to actually be said aloud- nevermind so beautifully by Peggy Carter in all of her Britishness.
"You both look to a shared future that includes so much more than you ever could have imagined," she continued. "Looking at how your future together has already changed so drastically since the 1930s, it's so wonderful to think ahead of what yet another few years may bring, especially now that we prosper in a time of literal universal peace among realms and galaxies. The years will continue to pass you by whether you decide to do something productive with them or not; a decision such as marriage shows that you truly won't take each other for granted, you will create even more incredible memories, you will be the best husbands you can be, you will grow even older and even wiser together- if that's even possible at the great ages you both have already achieved. It is a roller coaster of a story - the Cyclone of all coasters, if you will - and the ending is not in sight."
I chuckled to myself at that little reference and caught Bucky looking over at me with a smile across his face to match. My nerves had seemingly calmed after the ceremony started. It was strange to think that something so joyous and exciting was once daunting and anxiety inducing only a few moments ago.
"We come now to the words James and Steven want to hear the most today," Peggy looked between us. "The words that take them across the threshold from being engaged to being married... A marriage, as most of us understand it, is a voluntary and full commitment. It is made in the deepest sense to the exclusion of all others, and it is entered into with the desire and hope that it will last for life. Before you declare your vows to one another, I - and those that bear witness with us today - would request to hear you confirm that it is indeed your intention to be married this evening. James, do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to Steven in marriage? If so, answer 'I do.'"
"I do," he replied, crinkling his eyebrows as he does when he's seriously thinking about everything that we are and everything we've become together.
"Steven," Peggy went on. "Do you come here freely and without reservation to give yourself to James in marriage? If so, answer 'I do.'"
I smiled. "I do," I answered wholeheartedly, feeling as though every other sentence I had said in my life until now had meant nothing next to this one.
"Steven and James, having heard that it is your intention to be married to each other, I now ask you to declare your marriage vows. Please face each other and hold hands," she instructed. We did as she said. "Please repeat after me... I, James, take you, Steven, to be my husband."
"I, James, take you, Steven, to be my husband," he repeated.
"We will now hear James' vows to Steven," she nodded at him to begin.
"Steve," he began. "You know, I wrote all this down on a piece of paper, but I'm just gonna wing it- and not just because I forgot the paper, if that's what you're thinking," everyone, including us at the altar, laughed. "Not that it matters, though, because no amount of words - whether they be written down on paper or scribbled in my head - could even begin to explain how much I love you. Which, I really do, by the way, even if I neglect to say it as often as I should; seeing as you truly said it first all those years ago. And, God, all those years ago seems like such a broad term and almost meaningless in a sense of how grand time is... it's strange to think about that, isn't it? How we move through time, how time moves through us, how we change and keep changing and come back to the very same. To think how impossible that is for us - of all people - to come back to the way we were when we first met one another. Those days were when we had it good, even if something as incredible as this would've never actually been possible. I miss it sometimes, though I'll rarely admit it. Sure, I love you for what you've become and who you are now... but then? We were just kids then compared to what we've evolved to become now. You would blush with just a look from me, making me feel so fearless, even as I didn't fully know what fear could actually be until years later. And, after those years later, when all hope for me had been lost, you were still there for me. You were there when everyone else wanted me dead. You dove right in and brought me back to consciousness after they told me no one would ever break their mind control on me but them, if they so wished it. I can never repay you for that, Steve. That incredible amount of love you had for me then, enough to start a war with everyone you'd grown close to. All I can offer you now is that very same amount of love - an endless supply - and I promise you, Steve, that love is something that we'll never lose sight of."
"N-"
"Uh, hold on, Peggy," Bucky interrupted, shocking her and me, too.
"Of course, go on," she replied, noticing a smirk on his face as well as I did and wondering what the Hell he was up to.
"Well, as I said, I could make you blush out of nothing back then," he repeated. "I haven't seen that in a while, you know."
"I do know," I replied, as if no one else was there and it was just us talking somewhere random.
"I'd really love to see that again," he smiled, looking at me with something going on in the back of his mind.
"Unlikely," I came back.
"Oh yea? Why's that?" he asked.
"Because, I'm Captain America," I replied, a few people around us chuckling at my response.
"Oh, really? That's your reason?"
"Yes, really," I challenged him.
He raised my hands in his and started looking at and admiring them. "You have nice hands," he told me.
I waited, crinkling my eyes in confusion. "Thanks..."
He smirked and snickered. "I bet they'd look good wrapped around m-"
"The Holy Bible," Peggy practically yelled, eyeing Bucky. "Praise the Lord."
No one said a word and I blushed a furious shade of red immediately at the thought of what he'd just implied. Some others in the wedding party that were close enough to have heard, chuckled at the quiet comment Bucky had made.
"And, there it is," Bucky announced.
Peggy rolled her eyes. "Now, Steven, please repeat after me," Peggy brought us back in. "I, Steven, take you, James, to be my husband."
"I, Steven, take you, James, to be my husband," he repeated.
"We will now hear Steven's vows to James," she nodded, then, at me to begin.
I smiled. "Bucky, God, where to begin," I started without my paper in hand. "I suppose I should start at the beginning, though, I couldn't tell you exactly when it started for the life of me. The lines are all too blurry and nothing was ever established like they started to become later on. I remember all the firsts in all of those very odd, random, empty places - spaces filled by only you and me seemed so... small, even if they were out in the open. Everything was intimate in my eyes, even after I took off my rose colored glasses. I can't imagine spending all that time with anyone else because it all felt so natural, so safe. Even mom knew, and to think that someone I loved so dearly approved of something she just as easily could have had me locked up for shows that she damn well would've been here with us if she could've been because, well, she loved you through me. She saw that I loved you more than I even knew possible... I tried living life without you once, if you remember, and it was a living Hell- like the end of the world for me, Buck. I'd sooner brave death than do it again even for a second," I paused. "I suppose all those words I just spewed don't mean much, thinking back. It was a lot of storytelling and dream making, though, I suppose that's what we were based on for a while. Those secret moments and hidden conversations in broad daylight were as thrilling as they were imperative. If not for them, who knows, we might've been long gone by now. My point in having said all that, Buck, is that we have one another if no one else. We'll never be alone in this day and age because there's always going to be our other half attached to us just as we've remained throughout the years. And there were times in the '30s and '40s that I knew it just as well as I do now... I told you to save yourself, to leave, to get out of that damned fire, but, no, not without me. I told you I was fine, I could get by on my own, but, no, I didn't have to, you'd said. 'Cause you were with me until the very end. And that, I suppose, was all I would have needed to say to summarize everything I just mentioned. One final statement to tell you what I truly feel, as strongly now as I did at the start of it all, whenever that may have been," I stopped. "I'm with you 'til the end of the line, pal."
He pulled his hand from mine and wiped his face, as he had been crying in that moment listening as much as I had been simply speaking.
"Your wedding rings are the outward and visible sign of the inward and invisible bond which already unites you two hearts in love," she recommenced, taking the little ring boxes from Clint's son into her own hands and then into our hands. "James, place the ring on Steven's finger and repeat after me... I give you this ring."
"I give you this ring," he said, lifting my left hand and placing the golden ring he had proposed to me with upon my finger.
"Wear it with love and joy."
"Wear it with love and joy," he smiled.
"As this ring has no end, my love is also forever."
"As this ring has no end," his voice ever-so-slightly crackled from holding in the tears I watched accumulate within his eyes. "My love is also forever."
"Steven, place the ring on James' finger and repeat after me... I give you this ring."
"I give you this ring," I repeated, now raising his hand and placing upon his finger the very golden ring I had also proposed to him with in that same moment.
"Wear it with love and joy."
I waited, trying to blink away the tears. "Wear it with love and joy."
"As this ring has no end, my love is also forever."
"As this ring has no end, my love is also forever," I couldn't hold my smile back as I said.
"May the wedding rings you exchanged today remind you always that you are surrounded by enduring love," she announced. "Everyone has advice for newlyweds. Steven and James, I offer these good wishes to you on this special day: May your life together be blessed with prosperity and good health. May you always share open and honest communication between each other. May you respect each other's individual talents and gifts and give full support to each other's professional and personal pursuits. May you cherish the home and family you will forge together. May all the years to come be filled with moments to celebrate and renew your love. May your love be a life-long source of excitement, contentment, affection, respect, and devotion for one another," she looked between us like it was all very real in this moment. "And, so, now, by the power vested in me by the New York City County Clerk in the year 1954, it is my honor and delight to declare you officially married," she smiled. "You may seal this declaration with a kiss."
He smiled at me as I smiled back and took my waist into his hands as I grabbed his face and pulled him into me, kissing him the most appropriate way I saw fit for a crowd of all our friends to actually watch.
We pulled apart after a second and Peggy's smile was beaming. "I am pleased to present the newlyweds, Mr. and Mr. Rogers-Barnes!"
We turned to face everyone as they cheered for us, watching as we walked back down the aisle with our wedding party following closely behind.
As we made our way out, the guests headed into the venue for cocktail hour while the rest of the wedding party - along with ourselves - was pulled aside to take photos and to eat together in a separate room.
Photos of me, then photos of Bucky, then us together, then us with the best man and woman, then the wedding party without us, then with us, then some fun ones... like all of us using our powers for a quick second- you know, Tony opening his shirt, Wanda waving her fingers, Banner making a fist, Pietro literally just running back and forth, Peter slinging some webs, me holding my shield, Bucky rolling up his left sleeve, et cetera, et cetera. It was great- and beautifully lit.
We headed into our own separate eating area after that for cocktails and appetizers briefly before going to the reception with everyone else. There, the wedding party was to walk in right before us, and they were to be announced by the DJ we hired.
Before all that, though, Bucky and I pulled off around the corner at the reception where we could be alone for a few minuted to just kind of... regroup.
"Steve," he grabbed my hand. I met his eyes. "We're married."
I smiled and leaned into him for a kiss. "Finally," I commented. "Took you long enough to propose..." I made a face.
"You're such a dick," he chuckled and shoved me. "You know, you got a knee- you could've gotten down onto it to propose, too."
"We both know that's your job," I replied.
"Really?" he joked. "Why's that?"
"Well, you know, because I'm the one that tak-"
"Steve, Bucky," Natasha poked her head around the corner. "They're about to call all of us in," she popped back in.
Bucky rolled his eyes. "I'm not ready for all these people at once."
"Oh, come on," I patted his shoulder. "You'll be fine. I'm the one that's actually got something to worry about - Hell, I'm not ready for this dance - wanna get outta here?"
"Oh Jesus Christ, Steve, it's our wedding, you know, we can't just up and leave," he took my hand. "Let's go, you'll be fine."
"Well, I did pick a pretty damn perfect song, so, hopefully you're right," I agreed.
"Exactly," he stopped before the door. "Ready?"
"As I'll ever be," I answered, taking one handle in my palm as he took the other in his.
The doors swung open and everyone started literally yelling and throwing confetti and rose petals and shit at us as we ran into the beautiful room- a huge thanks to Natasha for it, too, as she kinda did all the decorating for us.
"And, for the first time ever," the announcer started. "Mr. Steven Grant and Mr. James Buchanan Rogers-Barnes!"
Everyone greeted us as we trailed under the tunnel of arms with congratulations and hugs and everything I could've ever asked for.
Now, though, came the worst of it. I'm not ready to dance, I'm really not. I don't know what I'm doing and the serum only fixed so much... I mean, there's this saying that you're only bound to be good at two, not all three, of the following: dancing, fighting, and sex. Well... I can't dance, which I guess isn't the worst thing that I could be stuck with. I mean, seriously, imagine if Captain America couldn't fight? Yikes, Dr. Erskine would've been pissed.
Anyway, I'm stalling. I can't do this.
I can fight in wars and defeat HYDRA and save my boyfriend from mind control and whatever else it takes, but ask me to dance and I'm done. You got me, I surrender. Bucky will tell you I'm good, but I don't know why he's trying to be nice, I mean, we're already married anyway.
"And, now, the couple will have their first dance to a favorite from 1933; Let's Fall in Love by Harold Arlen," the DJ announced.
Bucky made me get out of my chair and dragged me over to the empty dance floor. All the lights went out and a single spotlight hit us as we stood apart. Everyone knew it was time for the first dance, we didn't even have to announce it. The only anticipation left was what song we were going to dance to.
I thought I might start crying when the music started and the orchestra filled the room.
"You got this," he whispered only loud enough for me to hear with a smile.
I nodded and my eyes stayed on his as he extended his hand out to me. I took it as Harold Arlen's words started filling the room.
I have a feeling, it's a feeling I'm concealing, I don't know why; it's just a mental, incidental, sentimental alibi...
We began to ballroom dance, and rather quickly, following the pace of the beginning of the song and sweeping across the floor so fluidly together as he led me across it like he said he would.
But I adore you, so strong for you...
He pulled me close to him and I felt his hair brush against my face as he held my body against his.
Why go on stalling, I am falling, love is calling...
A smile stuck to his face as we went on and he pushed my body away, and I couldn't help but smile, too. This felt like the happiest I'd ever be- this was a new record high and I knew it'd last decades this time, yet again, as it had last time.
Why be shy? Let's fall in love. Why shouldn't we fall in love? Our hearts are made of it, let's take a chance. Why be afraid of it?...
I came back into him and we started dancing that traditional, ballroom style anew, gliding seemingly so perfectly together.
Let's close our eyes and make our own paradise. Little we know of it, still we can try to make a go of it...
His eyes never wavered from mine. He always knew just how to comfort me, even now, even as the nerves melted away and filled my eyes with unavoidable tears.
We might have been meant for each other; to be or not to be. Let our hearts discover...
He spun me around as we rotated together, the spotlight following us.
Let's fall in love. Why shouldn't we fall in love? Now is the time for it, while we are young. Let's fall in love...
I caught his eyes growing glassy in the moment, too, just as he claimed they wouldn't just a week ago as we practiced. But, it was everyone watching us and the words filling my head with memories and the idea that everything Harold Arlen is saying is stuff that we both once thought. While we didn't know it at the time, we were playing a game with love and we both fell right into it and for each other. Suddenly, the orchestral break ended and we flew back together.
We might have meant for each other; to be or not to be. Let our hearts discover...
We halted at the floor and went on perfectly, just as we did so many times before, even though this once was very different from all the others and rather unforgettable.
Let's fall in love. Why shouldn't we fall in love? Now is the time for it, while we are young. Let's fall in love.
As the music stopped and the spotlight burned out, Bucky pulled me in for a hug. I felt him, so warm, enveloping me and congratulating me on actually doing the one thing I was so terrified of doing.
Now, something a little non-traditional was up... you know, just as nontraditional as two super soldiers getting married.
"As requested by the Grooms, there will also be a second dance," the DJ added, some of the guests looking a bit confused as to what that would consist of. "This will be a dance for the Grooms, their wedding party, and a few select others only," he clarified. "The song is from 2019; Run Through Walls by The Script."
Bucky and I stood alone on the massive dance floor, at the middle yet again, awaiting the music to begin.
The beautiful symphony filled the air and we started to ballroom dance a bit more... freely... this time.
With no visible superpowers, sitting in the kitchen and talking for hours, you always show up at the perfect time...
He looked at me like he knew he was going to cry again, and not even because of me this time. Because of all the friends that were about to join us. .
There's no one born with X-Ray eyes, there's no way to know what's on my mind, but you always say the words that save my life...
I smiled at him and at the truth to it all. We started to dance a little faster and-
I've got friends that will run through walls. I've got friends that will fly once called. When I've nowhere left to go, and I need my heroes, I've got friends that will run through walls...
Tony and Peggy jumped onto the floor and started dancing together, Natasha and Banner were next. Then Clint came on with Wanda, followed by Okoye and T'Challa as well as Shuri and Peter... (yes, I know, Thor and Rhodes opted out, but understandably so). The other guests watched in awe as the spotlight multiplied from one white one to six multicolored ones.
You may not be superhuman, but you've got the strength to carry me through it; my shield of steel when I'm too weak to fight- yes, you are...
We all swirled around each other and danced as we'd practiced- it was perfect.
And that day my mother died and you held me up and you wiped my eyes, it was in that moment when I realized...
I looked back at Bucky again after that line filled my ears and distracted me from the fun everyone was hacking around me. He smiled and I felt it wash away, just as it did every time he looked at me like that.
I've got friends that will run through walls. I've got friends that will fly once called. When I've nowhere left to go, and I need my heroes, I've got friends that will run through walls...
I looked over at Tony and at Natasha and Peggy - all of whom were already looking at us - and smiled. They knew I appreciated them. They knew.
You're always happy for my happiness and sad for my sadness; piss me off, you're mad for my madness; ever since we were young, you help me rise from the ashes, if I fall from the sky you'd catch me...'Cause friends don't let you do stupid things, oh, friends don't let you do stupid things, oh, friends won't let you do stupid things- alone, alone...
Everyone spun around the hand of another as we rotated in a circle together.
I've got friends that will run through walls. I've got friends that will fly once called. When I've nowhere left to go, and I need my heroes, I've got friends that will run through walls...
We all separated to the edges of the dance floor and waited there with our partners.
When I've nowhere left to go, and I need my heroes, I've got friends that will run through walls...
Then, we all ran to the center and huddled together, swaying as one. I could feel everyone smiling and laughing and enjoying every second we had together.
I've got friends that will run through walls. And I've got friends that don't text, they call. When I've nowhere left to go and I need you the most, I've got friends that will run through walls.
I heard everyone clap after that group dance as we broke from the huddle to greet everyone.
I don't think that could've gone more perfectly.
Next, we all were seated at our assigned tables, though, Bucky and I were up at the front alone with one another so we could see everyone. Ugh, and the lighting in the room made it feel just so incredibly romantic.
As we all started to settle in to our seats, I heard a glass dink to my right (as, from where I sat, Bucky was to my left). It was Sam.
"You know," he started, shaking his head and thinking. "I met you entirely by chance, Steve... and you were really being a pain in my ass," everyone laughed. "No, seriously, the guy was running circles around me in D.C. all morning. I pretty much put together who he was by the time he introduced himself but- I never expected... any of this. I mean, adventuring out in the world with Captain America? Actually becoming his friend? I never could have imagined anything like this if I'd tried, but here we are, Cap, and cheers to that," he held up his glass, as did everyone else. "To friendship and to this wonderful life you've created for yourself and your oldest friend."
Everyone took a sip and awaited Natasha's speech.
"Hi, everyone," she greeted the room. "I don't even know where to begin. It's almost awkward and bizarre the way this all happened, at least in my mind. Technically, I should be dead, right? But, Steve, you brought me back. You're so incredibly loyal like that, you know? And, that's not something I'll easily forget. As for James, you're the very same. No wonder you fit so perfectly together with one another and, to be frank, so terribly with me- to think that I dated you both and I was so lost in it that I hadn't even noticed that both of the long lost loves you each told me about was each other!" Everyone started laughing, especially Bucky and I. "I wouldn't change any of it, I want you both to know, because friends like you two are so incredibly rare to come by. We're all so lucky to have met you- to have had the opportunity to spend our lifetimes with you, even as you both remain outside of your original time. To new beginnings, wonderful friendships, and happy memories," she smiled, and everyone cheered for her beautiful stories.
"Okay, okay, okay," Tony stood. "We get it, they're both great- which is not something I'm disagreeing with at all, I'm just- I have a very serious question for everyone here..." Pepper tried to pull him back into his seat. "I would love to know how in the Hell-"
"Language!" I shouted at him, cracking everyone up for a good minute.
"My apologies, Cap'n," he smiled. "How in the world did no one - not a single person - figure out that Steve was gay? I mean, seriously, with the damn spandex?" The room was roaring with laughter because, well, he had a good point. "All jokes aside, though, Cap- we may not agree on everything all the time... actually, I can't even remember a time when we agreed..." there were some snickers throughout the crowd. "Anyway, the point is, I've said it once and I'll say it again, I'd hate to see you gone, pal. Truly, I've grown to really think of you as a close friend of mine, and I wouldn't change one bit of it... except for maybe that one time you almost killed me in Siberia- but, you made up for that when you travelled back in time to, you know, resurrect me and whatnot," he smiled at me and I smiled back. "To second chances, to you both, and to this life you've each fought to have for every living, breathing, waking second in the absence of your other half." We all cheered.
"Now, Steve," A British accent flowered through the air. "I know this is rather informal and non-traditional of me, and I know I am, by no means, a replacement for either of your parents, but, if I may, I just wanted to mention both of your younger years... I knew them both before, well, anyone else here. They've remained the same and have only gotten to be closer," she informed everyone. "It felt as though I fell in love with Steve's attitude and outlook and spirit ever since the first day I met him; I see that, Bucky, you are incredibly lucky to have found someone like him. From the get-go, he fought for you. He fought to save you time and time again, at least as so I've been informed... I was only really there for the first time- and that was all the proof I needed. To true love and a friendship worth fighting for," she raised her glass, and everyone else did... but, now, it was our turns.
"Steve," Bucky stood before I could. "I know you wanted to go first, but, you know, here I am," he smiled as everyone laughed. "This very day was so unplanned. Sure, I knew I loved you since the '30s, but I never expected anything like this- anything so real and so perfect and so surrounded by an insane amount of people that can actually tolerate both of us for an extended period of time," everyone laughed again. "As for the date, for those of you that are unaware... it's probably the only thing we both knew we wanted from the get-go. July 10, 2014 was the first time Steve saw me since I was presumed dead on January 20, 1945. That was the first time, unbeknownst to me, he realized there was something to fight for. And I thank God everyday that you kept fighting, Stevie. And this place? 'The docks,' as we called them... it felt like nothing then. But, looking back, that one kiss I mustered up the courage to steal from you in 1935 started everything. And the fact that Sarah knew and was okay with it? That means everything to me. Just know that I'd do it all again in a heartbeat to keep what we have. I'll start wars and burn buildings and destroy countries to get to you- but, you know, let's hope it doesn't get to that... we all know that The Winter Soldier doesn't exactly have the boy-next-door kinda personality," the room filled with laughter anew. "Just know, you're stuck with me. Until the end of the line," he looked down at me and definitely caught the tears in my eyes. "To love so strong, it can even transcend lifetimes."
He sat as everyone cheered and gave me a peck on the lips. "I love you," he whispered. "You know that."
I smiled and stood. "As Tony revealed to those of you out there - you know who you are - I guess I'm the bride, right?" Those who didn't know looked at me in awe and those who did, practically died of laughter. "Forgot the dress at home, but it's okay. I still have the four-essential-bride-things, as I call them. You know the rhyme: something old, something new, something borrowed and something blue. We're old, this opportunity is new, we're on borrowed time, and, well, we both have blue eyes, so I assume that has to count... unless it doesn't, then our ties count," Bucky chuckled beside me. "In all seriousness, Buck, I couldn't have asked for someone better to go through all of this with. To think about it all- it still amazes me. I've never stopped loving you and holding out for your return, even when it seemed like a lost cause and no matter what everyone else told me. And, trust me, I did a lot of stupid shit along the way that you definitely would've kicked my ass for- but, if you're my endgame, I'd do it all again right now." I paused. "You loved me at my worst, Bucky, at my 95-pound-anemic-asthmatic worst even when you didn't have to. You stayed with me after mom died, after I took the serum, Hell, even after I thought you died," I snickered. "To unconditional, undying love."
Everyone clapped and clanked glasses.
Dinner was served shortly thereafter and, throughout, slow songs from the 1930s were played. Oh, and, trust me, the food was actually really good. We made sure of that. This was not about to be a wedding everyone here remembered because of how terrible the food was.
After, the dancing commenced and everyone met up on the dance floor to modern music mixed with some classic music choices, you know, all chosen with the expert help of Sam Wilson.
We were all huddled at the dance floor, the original Avengers and those that joined later and those that weren't even a part of the Avengers, but were certainly on our side. Seriously, it was a huge group of people, and we were just talking and swaying and such.
"How's it feel?" Nat asked me, tapping my arm.
"Incredible, Nat, seriously," I replied. "I never could have imagined the feeling if I tried."
"I'm happy for you," she smiled. "You deserve this happiness, finally."
"Tell me about it," I chuckled.
"Um, Cap- Cap'n... Mr. Rogers-Barnes, sir?" Peter Parker approached me, Shuri at his side, amidst the entire group.
"Queens," I greeted him. "You can call me Steve, you know."
"Right, Steve, of course," he smiled as Shuri nudged him. "Well, Steve, we have a question for you and uh-"
"Bucky," he added. "You can call me Bucky."
"Okay- uh, we have a question for you and Bucky, Shuri and I," he started.
"Shoot," Bucky green-lighted him.
"What's your ship name?" he asked.
"Our what?" I returned.
"Ship name," Shuri joined in, annunciating each letter so I could actually hear her over the music.
"What the Hell is that?" Bucky wondered.
"It's derived from the word relationship and is also known as a couple name," Shuri explained. "Usually, a ship name is a portmanteaux, which is basically when the names of two individuals are blended together to create a word that combines the meaning of its components- and, sometimes, it can be a play on words. The combination of the names is a signifier of the romantic relationship between the two individuals to which the names belong."
"Like our last name?" I asked. "Like Rogers-Barnes?"
"No," Nat added in. "I think they mean it's a literal combination of your names, forming one or a few completely new words."
"Gimme an example," Bucky requested.
"You're together, right?" Peter asked Banner and Natasha.
"Mhmm, yea," Banner nodded.
"Bruce Banner and Natasha Romanoff," Peter stated. "Brutasha."
"I actually use Natalia now," she corrected him.
"Brutalia, then," he fixed it.
"Oh, I see," I looked over at Bucky. "Do we have one? I don't think we do."
"Nothing really comes to mind," Bucky added. "We didn't have this stuff when we were younger- not like being gay was even allowed for anyone to refer to us as our ship name."
"So, come up with one," Shuri stated. "It's easy."
"Like Hell it is," I came back. "Do someone else's then. Prove it."
"Mr. Stark and Pepper Potts," Peter interjected. "Pepperony," he stated.
"Thor and Jane Foster," Shuri put in. "Fosterson."
"Can it be people who aren't together too?" Bucky asked.
"Give me an example," Shuri asked.
"Nat and..." I started.
"Clint," Bucky put in.
Natasha looked at Clint like oh shit. "Clintasha- er, Clintalia," Peter answered.
"Or, more along the lines of the wedding, Stephen Strange and Tony, how about?" Nat wondered, getting all too much into this.
"IronStrange?" Shuri proposed, shrugging. "Sometimes it's used for thrupples too."
"For... what?" I questioned.
"A three person couple," Peter added. "Like, say, if it were Mr. Stark and Mr. Bruce Banner, sir, and Steve..." There was a pause.
"Stark Spangled Banner," Shuri interrupted the silence, making everyone laugh. "Back to you guys. What's yours?"
"Jameve?" Nat proposed.
"Ew, what even is that?" Shuri came back. "Er, no offense."
"Yea," Peter joined in. "I was thinking more along the lines of StarBucks."
"Like the coffee place?" Bucky replied. "No way."
"Winter... Shield?" Banner came up with.
"Not bad," Shuri agreed. "Winter Shield, hmm."
"Doesn't really flow, though," Wanda commented.
"Okay, how about, and hear me out, BaRogers?" Tony proposed.
"Really? That's terrible," I stated.
Bucky laughed. "Just- that's, wow, that's really bad."
"Barnes & Noble?" Vision popped in. We all looked at him like he was really just pulling that straight out of his ass. "What? It's one of the first things that came up when I started research."
"What about... Stucky?" Bucky proposed.
"Has a nice ring to it," I looked at him. "Stucky... I like it."
"Me too," Shuri agreed. "You're a natural at this, Barnes."
"Sure, okay," he smiled and chuckled.
"Ladies and Gentlemen," the announcer began again, the music lowering so we could all hear him. "It is now time for what would traditionally be the garter and bouquet tosses. Our grooms today have come up with their own little version of it, though, as you'll see in a few moments. Please, clear the dance floor as we prepare. Thank you."
The music resumed and Bucky looked over at me with a smirk, which practically plucked me from the crowd and over to the DJ booth in itself.
"This is the fun part, now, you know," he smiled. "You got it ready?"
I snickered. "I do, it's in the other room- and that's the second time I've said those words today."
"Alright, let's do this," he walked me over to the exit doors and left with me to go to the other room.
You know, the other room where I put on a giant, puffy wedding gown just for shits and giggles because Bucky dared me to a few weeks ago.
When we walked back into the reception, I couldn't stop blushing and laughing- as everyone else was dying laughing too.
With a cluster of six roses in hand, I turned around and prepared to throw them, all the girls in the room getting behind me and preparing to catch them.
When I released them, I immediately spun around to see that- Natasha was screaming and holding up the bouquet. I looked over at Banner and he was just smiling to himself... as if it was gonna happen anyway.
Next, I sat down in the chair before everyone and Bucky kneeled before me. It was actually so hilarious, still the fact that I was in the dress, that everyone started cheering.
Bucky lifted the dress and got under it, where I had been wearing nothing but my boxers and my dress shoes, and started the search for the garter I had put on my leg.
I sensed he found it, as his lips met my upper - and inner - thigh, where I had placed it. He was sucking and- christ, this was a wedding, and he was literally giving me a hickey in record time. After a few seconds, I felt him take the garter in between his teeth and pull it down and off of my leg.
He stood and held it up for everyone to see, and they all cheered. I just sat there and smiled at his delight, you know, with a boner making its grand entrance underneath the dress where no one could see. Wonderful.
Upon spinning around and throwing the garter, I noticed Banner caught it right away, seeing as he was the biggest and tallest of everyone there.
Natasha was next to sit down in the chair I'd just been in, and Bruce kneeled before her, going up her dress to place the garter on her leg.
Everyone cheered after they stood together, then we all regrouped on the dance floor- you know, after I changed back into my suit.
"The night's almost over," Bucky looked over at me, a glimmer in his eyes.
"But our life together is just beginning," I replied. "There's so much left for us out there."
He nodded. "You're right."
"I know I am," I smiled. "Though, we should probably cut the cake now."
"Shit, I forgot about that," he chuckled. "Let's go."
We approached the display table that had recently been set up with all the desserts and stood before the cake and waited for the DJ to announce it.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, it looks like our grooms are ready to cut their wedding cake!" he started. "Everyone head over to the dessert table."
Our friends surrounded us and started taking pictures as we held the knife together and sliced the cake perfectly straight down. We placed the first slice on a plate and held it together for everyone to see.
They all cheered for us.
I looked down at the cake when he was too busy not paying attention and swiped some frosting and wiped it onto his lips and chin.
He turned and looked at me like he was gonna come at me for it.
"You tryna fight, Rogers?" he asked, making a metal fist.
"Might be," I smiled.
"And, as much as we'd all love to see that," Tony burst in. "We don't need another civil war because of you two- oh, and I want my cake."
Bucky pushed his lips onto mine and the frosting transferred to my lips. My eyes widened. I pulled his face into mine and kissed him so that we might share the frosting.
After it was all licked away, everyone made their way back to their designated tables to have dessert- whether that be just cake or cake among other things.
But, after it all, everything felt as though it had passed so fast. Like the evening faded into night in far less time than usual and the stars riddled the sky even while the sun peeked out like it was some sort of trick. The ceremony and reception and everything- it was all over now. It was time to say goodbye, I guess.
Bucky and I met Peggy outside the reception area for a moment, though, to personally wish her a safe journey home.
"Thank you, truly, for the invite," she said. "I had fun being young in the modern day for a few hours."
"Of course, Peggy, really," I assured her.
"And we really appreciate your officiating the wedding," Bucky jumped in. "It meant a lot for you to have travelled all this way for us."
"Oh, don't be silly," she laughed. "You both know I'd do anything for you and for this life you've managed to make for yourselves."
"Thank you," I repeated.
"You know, when you told me about your longtime relationship with Bucky back in the '40s, I felt so honored that you, Captain America, trusted me with such an incredible secret," she added. "I never imagined any of this."
I looked at Bucky. "Neither did we," I smiled. "Feel free to visit us whenever you want. Stark gave you the so-called 'new and improved' portable time machine, right?"
"Yes, and I have my hand-device, suit thing here as well," she replied. "I certainly will- after all, I do have your address." She raised her hand and pressed a button on the device, covering her body in the time-travel suit of armor Tony custom made for her.
"Safe travels, Peggy," I told her.
"Thank you," she smiled. "And, congratulations. I'll see you when I see you."
The room flashed white and, like that, she was gone.
"Crazy, huh?" Bucky asked.
"What's that?"
"All of this- time travel? Seriously?" he chuckled. "That was only a thing of the far out future and comic books when we were kids."
"Not to pop your bubble of wonderment, but this is the far out future... and that Stanley guy made a comic of us all those years ago, too, sooooo..."
"Okay, yea yea, whatever," he laughed and I joined along.
We headed back into the room and waited at the doors and simply watched as everyone else inside went on without us. It was over, today, but tomorrow was just beginning.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is our last announcement for the evening," the DJ interrupted. "If you would, please make your way outside to see the grooms off during the final farewell!"
"That's us," Bucky grabbed my hand.
"It is," I smiled over at him and turned us around, pushing the door open and leading us out.
As the warm July nighttime air hit us upon exiting the building, we approached our car that we managed to find even all these years later.
Yep, it was a black Buick, series-40 special-edition convertible, with cans tied to the end with balloons. Oh, and a sign that says just married on the back... and I'm just noticing that someone, probably Natasha and Queens, snuck out here and used temporary water-based car paint on both sides to write #Stucky in white. Wonderful.
We hopped in, Bucky in the drivers seat, as usual, and waited for everyone to gather.
"Thanks, everyone, for coming!" Bucky shouted. He turned to me. "Ready?"
I nodded. "I am."
He hit the gas, and we were cruising.
Within seconds, the noise of everyone cheering had passed and the lights of the city were around us, the warm air hitting our faces with a tinge of coolness. I closed my eyes as the wind ruffled through my hair and the sounds I'd grown up with surrounded me, their meanings coming to my attention and changing instantly.
Car horns and cars skidding and tires rolling filled my head with childhood and Brooklyn in the '30s and Bucky and everything that was- it melded suddenly with what is and what will be. It feels like it's us and it's always gonna be us. Us in these lives we've made and all the lives we've impacted over the years.
I opened my eyes as we drove over the Brooklyn bridge, all these old smells and sounds surrounding me, and just looked around at what I'd known all my life.
Nothing had changed - neither me nor him, no matter how much we seem to have - yet, nothing would ever be the same.
We'd defied all odds with everything we did today, all the expectations I had for my life when I was 15 have officially been blown out of the water and replaced with seemingly impossible things and places and people and concepts.
I'd do it all again right now just for the Hell of it.
All that happiness and love and friendship and life and rescuing and perfection and recovery was worth the grief and loss and hate and sadness and change and guilt. I see it now, clearer than I've ever seen it before, and I'll never lose sight of it again.
Surely it's been hard at times, but I see the marvelousness in it now.
Everything happened the way it was supposed to.
—————
It feels like it was just yesterday that I was seeing him anew for the first time.
In that moment that I set eyes on him and realized he hadn't been lost all those years ago, I felt a part of me deep inside come back to life, a part that I never thought I'd ever feel again. It brought the color back into the world, changing everything from black and white into an incredible technicolor.
I know he was unaware of my identity at the time, but I like to think that the stitch in time that he hesitated and looked away was his subconscious way of crying out for my help. It said: I want nothing more than to know you all over again, Steve, and through you, me.
Giving in to that need and that want that I so desperately wanted to follow was one of the hardest as well as easiest things I had to do. Thank God it brought us here, all the not listening to my friends and ignoring the government and starting wars.
It's good to know that it was all worth it in the end and that fighting for the one you love really does help you and your cause to prevail.
I've never felt so untouchable in my life. Sure, I'm a hero and a soldier- but I'm just a man like every other; I'm a person, too. It's hard for everyone around me to see that I struggle with the little things as all the same.
This is why I couldn't be happier that Bucky and I got married, finally. He's the one I always need with me to keep me sane...
To love me forever as I love him.
Until the end of the line.
~Steven Grant Rogers-Barnes