Steve's Diary

June 15, 1939

Dear Diary,

Summer is officially here! Ugh, I love the warm weather... there's nothing like it. Besides, this way I get to see Bucky in less clothes, which is always good.

But, not all is okay with us anymore, unfortunately...

—————

"Tommorow?" I asked, feeling blindsided and abandoned. "Bucky, you can't- I mean... It's too soon."

"It's actually right on time, Steve. I think enlisting right now might be one of the best things for me and for my country," he explained.

"What about me? What about us?" I began to ask frantically. "You know damn well they won't take me; you know it! You insist you have to do this alone but I don't see how you could possibly expect me to feel okay after that."

"Well I-"

"As a matter of fact, I feel God awful. It's not fair, Buck, it's not. I want to join with you... maybe I'll do it anyway and see what they say."

"Steve, no, it's too dangerous," he argued with me. "What if they let you in? Then what?"

"Then I'm in and it will have all worked out just fine."

"You don't know that. It's not safe out there, you don't understan-"

"I do understand, Bucky," I cut him off. "I do. But it's no more safe for you than it is for me... it's a war zone out there. I just hope you're ready for whatever may be coming because I know I most certainly am not ready to lose you. At least I know enough to acknowledge that as a possibility."

He looked worried at what I had just said, like it was something he'd thought about before, too, but couldn't bare to think about any longer. "I know," was all he said on the matter of the war. All I could do was hope that I had gotten through to him.

"Come on, I wanna show you something," he said, motioning for me to follow him out the front door in attempts to get rid of all the terrible tension surrounding us.

We made our way down the street and it was hotter than I had thought it would be... and this walk was starting to take a lot longer than I had hoped it would.

"Where, exactly, are we going?" I asked impatiently.

"Relax, Steve, we're here," he told me. I looked out ahead of us and saw nothing but the ocean... it wasn't the beach, though. It was... a port?

"The docks?" I asked, realizing where we were. "You remembered... I-" I was at a loss for words. "It's been... forever... I mean..."

"Four years ago today," he reminded me. "And, me? Remember? How could I forget our first kiss?"

"God it was, what? 1935? Things were so different and, I mean, it's... that's insane," I began. "What was it that I'd said to you, Bucky... do you remember?" I questioned, genuinely wondering what it was I had said to him directly thereafter.

"I asked you if it was everything you had imagined it would be, just before I kissed you... then, you told me that it had been more."

I smiled at the fact that he remembered, but I was surprised that I had forgotten. It really did feel like forever ago... and look how far we've come.