Dearest Diary,
I know it's been a while, or at least felt like it's been a while, since we've been home... well, actually, it has, hasn't it? God, it's been since well before Thanos that we've both been here together and it feels so surreal.
He's what I've been missing, and I see it now. He makes this place feel like home.
—————
He chuckled to himself the moment we walked through the door. I looked over at him in confusion, but he never once looked back. He was focused on something that was, apparently, much less obvious to me. The smiled never fell from his face, though, and that's something I truly needed right now, even if I'd just realized it.
"What is it, Buck?" I wondered, kindly.
His teeth shone through his smile as he finally looked over at me and took my hand in his in a spur of the moment. "Homecoming," he mumbled, his eyes getting glassy as tears started to gather. "This is it, you know. This is what they picked that word for- the lack of, and hope, for their sake, that I never again feel, this very sensation." He looked around and took it all in. "It smells the same," he looked back at me, blinking away the tears. I nodded and smiled at his child-like wonderment.
"You missed it that much?" I asked.
He nodded. "I didn't know I could miss four walls and some furniture from the '20s like this, yea. It's like I stepped through that door and I stepped through time, almost a hundred years worth, for that matter."
"Yea," I agreed. "I kept everything the same as it's always been in here hoping to preserve that feeling. And, trust me, it never really goes away."
"Good," he turned to me and grabbed my face. "I love you."
"I love you more," I replied. He smiled and pulled my lips into his.
"Where to start?" he began. "What's to do?"
"We just got here," I chased after him as he started wandering around seemingly aimlessly. "Where the Hell are you going?"
"I'm looking around," he plopped down on the couch and looked at the television. "Does that old thing still work?"
"It does, believe it or not," I answered, playing his little game.
"Damn, we'll have to watch one of the three available, black-and-white channels later, then," he decided for me, standing and making his way happily to the kitchen. "I am more surprised that this table is still standing than anything else I've ever seen in my God given life, and, so help me, I've seen plenty of unimaginable things."
I pulled out one of the rickety, white-peeling-paint chairs and sat in it. "Holds up about 240 pounds, too."
"Well, good God, that is- I'm in awe, truly," he smirked before nodding for me to follow him again. He walked up to mom's room first.
"I still miss her," I commented.
"Me too," he added with a sympathetic smile. "I don't think that feeling of missing someone you loved and lost ever really goes away, though, Steve."
"I know, I know." After a moment, we walked out of the room that I hadn't even unlocked since the '30s and into my old room.
He laughed. "There were so many incredible memories forged here."
I walked in fully. "I know, I've never forgotten them, either."
He turned around and faced me, walking at me and pushing the door shut behind my back as it hit the wood with a thud. "Neither have I," he whispered. "Remember that first time I did this to you right here in this very spot?"
I took in a deep breath. "Mhmm," I hummed as his mouth approached mine.
He smiled against my lips before pulling away without ever having made any contact. "What about that time we made out in the tree outside the window?"
"That tree's gotta be ridiculously older than us, because it's still there," I chuckled. "But, yea, I remember. You scared the shit out of me the second time you did it, though."
"Oh, on your birthday?" he started. "In '36? God, when we went camping and I stole that truck?"
"Ha!" I shouted. "I knew you stole that damned truck."
"Okay, no, we borrowed it," he corrected me. "I returned it after."
"Yea, okay, as if you asked their permission first."
"Fair enough," he laughed. "I think the risk was worth it, though. It was a Hell of a night."
"I'll say," I looked down, simply remembering.
"We had fun back then," he went on. "I know I'd do it all again if I could."
"I wish," I smirked.
"As I recall, the secret of it all was thrilling for us both," he met my eyes. "That's something we seem to have lost now, somehow, seeing as it's legal and everything."
"Tell me about it," I agreed. "Just a look from those young eyes of yours and I was gone, no matter where we were."
"And, now?"
"And, now, it's all the same," I answered. "I'm just a lot better at hiding it when I have to."
"Doesn't look like you're trying to hide it now," he commented, glancing down at my jeans stretching at the crotch.
"That's because I want you to know," I surmised. "And, it's not like you're doing any better."
He looked down at his own stretched out pants and back up at me. "Making me self aware again, huh? What're you trying to do here, exactly?"
"I think you know damn well."
He snickered and walked over, grabbing me through my pants in his hand and squeezing gently. "That about sum it up?"
I nodded, not trusting my voice at the moment. I reached out for his face and pulled him close until his forehead was against my own and our noses brushed up against each other.
His lips met mine again and, this time, leaving a mark of intent upon me as his tongue plunged between my lips. His hands roamed my body already, but I didn't mind. This was something I'd missed and, especially since we were here, it brought me back decades.
Before I knew it, his hands made their way around to my ass and he had picked me up- he was on his way to the bed. He got on top of me and started thrusting as if we were wearing nothing, though we very obviously were wearing something.
His lips met my neck along with his teeth and I moaned out into the air between us. His hands meandered beneath my shirt and I couldn't help but squirm in the most uncontrollable way. He made his way to my ear, licking the surrounding area and breathing heavily and hotly so that he might send shivers down my spine. "I want you," he whispered into my ear.
I groaned aloud anew and felt him bit down on my earlobe. I wanted him too, and I'm sure it was evident by now. Hell, I was surprised the damned button on my jeans hadn't popped straight off yet with how strained they felt already.
His hand reached for my belt and started to undo it as his mouth met mine again.
I went up to grab his face in my hands, but he immediately grabbed my wrists and pinned them above my head with his right hand. "Can we... try something?"
I nodded, feeling some sort of feeling about this position that I wasn't quite sure how to explain yet. "Mhm, yea," I agreed.
He smiled and moved away from me. "Strip," he ordered, sounding the same way he did when I remember him saying it last - and in this very room, but in a very different situation with very different connotations.
I got off the bed and so did he, both of us pulling off layer by layer in a hurry- especially as I was excited to see what he was planning.
After we were both naked, he looked me up and down with pure lust written across his face and pushed me down onto the bed behind me and got on top.
He kissed me slowly for a moment before I felt his cold fingers on my chest... and then along the side of my face... and then caressing my neck... and then grabbing my neck and squeezing just enough.
I gasped out between our faces and heard it turn into a whimper all at once as he backed away and pulled my left leg over the top of his right shoulder. I kept my arms above my head where he had previously placed them and looked up at him, getting hooked on a feeling.
Without warning, just as I expected as it fit with this current mood, I felt him push into me and keep on thrusting without hesitation. At this point, it was the simple pang of pain I felt in that action that thrilled me almost as much as his now-warmer metal hand on my throat did.
I threw my head back as he took me in his right hand and started pumping along with the rhythm he had started. I couldn't look at him, I couldn't even open my eyes- this feeling was so inexplicable.
I finished all over my chest and stomach in a matter of seconds, but he was still going... though, I think the loud noises and strings of words I never said out loud actually falling from my lips brought him to the edge a lot quicker, as it was only a matter of minutes before I felt him finish inside me.
After he pulled out and we cleaned ourselves up, he laid beside me and we both closed our eyes.
"Thinking about it now," he began. "If this is where it all began, this, of all placed is where it should end."
"What do you mean?" I asked, a little worried.
"I mean, Sarah left us this place so that we could live our lives here together," he explained. "And that was back when us being in love was a secret that only the two - or, I suppose, three - of us knew. All I'm saying is, if not now, when?"
"You're saying we should spend the rest of our lives here?"
"That's exactly what I'm saying, Steve," he clarified. "That's how it was originally supposed to be, so this will be the closest we'll ever get to that life we missed out on."
"Yea, I think you're right," I agreed. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he replied, leaning over and kissing my mouth once again. "And, um, just saying... it's a good thing it's not 1937 anymore because, well, the neighbors would have definitely figured out that something was going on over here that shouldn't have been."
"What're you implying?" I came back.
"I'm not implying anything. I'm telling you that you were loud as fuck and that it was fucking hot, but the neighbors definitely heard you," he laughed.
"Whatever," I laughed along. "Tell the whole world, I don't even mind anymore."
—————
I really mean that, too.
At least now it's allowed. And, to be honest, what's any non-superabled person gonna do about it if they don't like it? Attack two trained super-soldier assassins?
I'd like to see them try.
~ Steve Rogers