Chapter Three
I woke up next morning with a heavy chest, literally catching my breath as I tightly squeezed onto it hoping it will stop aching.
I dreamed of that day again after a week it stopped occuring in my dreams. That day I drowned. Whenever I am reminded of that day, I always feel like my heart is being crumpled— it won't stop aching for one or two minutes.
I glanced at the picture frame placed on the top of my bedside table. A picture of Dad and a six-year-old Jeongwoo— my heart sank, staring at it full of regrets, still. He was so beautiful in his black suit, I remember I asked him to go with me in a park and he did even he was still wearing an office attire. It's always vivid to me how he smiles watching me playing around.
I felt tears streaming down as I hugged the picture frame against my chest. "Dad, I'm so sorry," I cried silently until it became loud, loud enough to pain me in my heart, endlessly.
"Woo..." I saw Jae at the door, staring at me with his teary eyes. I looked at him helplessly, as I always do when he caught me crying as soon as I woke up from that dream.
He embraced me in his arms, stroking my hair as he gently tapped my back.
"Shhh, it's okay, it's okay," he said already crying, his cracked voice crying with me.
After awhile, I calmed down when Jae gave me a glass of water.
"Take a shower, I'll just bring your breakfast here. Okay?" he said, patting my head. I smiled at him. I am always thankful of Jaehyuk, he was the only person who knows how vulnerable I am. And he just knows how to comfort me without saying too much.
I have gathered up the will to take a shower, I am just constantly reminding myself to live, because this is my father's life... it must have a purpose. And my purpose, is to be like him.
Jae joined me eating my breakfast, I always want to eat with the family but I know I'll just mess up their day by just showing myself in their faces.
"Let's go, they just left," Jae told me after receiving a text message from Mrs. Yoon. I nodded my head as I picked up for my bag and some books.
Despite the shaky relationship with the Park Family, I still attain the rights my Dad left for me and Mrs. Park couldn't control them and just don't bother anymore.
I walked through the University's gate with my head bowed down. Maybe I was used to it because I fear students staring at me whenever they crossed paths with mine.
"Ya, shy boy," I heard Haruto's voice from the back. He was usually smirking. He looks different now that I can see him wearing a pink lipbalm, his lips is shining. He raised his brow at me noticing how my eyes landed on his lips.
"I wore make up, we have a roleplay later," he said walking beside me.
"Oh, I think you put too much lipbalm," I said trying to catch up from him because he's walking too fast.
"It's not like it doesn't look good on me," he said proudly. I think I am getting too much of his boastful attitude.
"Yeah, if that's what you think," I shrugged my shoulder when he gave me a death stare.
"Are you saying it doens't look good?" he looked serious. Trying to warn me to say otherwise.
"Hmmmm, I think it's not that bad," I said teasing him more.
"I swear you're not a good joker," I just sticked out my tongue at him as I ran my way to my building when I heard the ten minute notice bell rang.
I heard him mumbling 'ya' as I just laughed at it while running. I think I just won.
It was the same class, English Subject. The class was already busy checking out their scores for yesterday's quiz, their faces was too readable, I think no one of us passed the quiz.
I logged in my account on the University portal to check my score just to find out I aced it. I couldn't help not to smile.
"Only three of the class got a passing grade, one of them topped and aced it," the professor started saying, her brows furrowed looking like she's disappointed.
"Anyways, job well done, Park Jeongwoo. I think you did so well with the quiz, I'm impressed,"
"Learn from him, class. Stop wasting too much of your time on your phones and study," she said before starting the day with another discussion.
I saw some rolling their eyes on my direction. But I remember Haruto's smile. It was as if I was rewarded to feel bad about anything else. I think... I just found an outlet, to breathe normally.
The next two class wasn't different with the first one, it's all about discussions and I took notes pretty well.
I decided to spend my time at the library because Haruto just told me he's having a meeting with smart club. He's from the same strand but in Class A which is in the separated building from senior high school department, they are University's priority because they are smart people.
At first, I never cared, but now that I'm friends with Haruto, it feels totally different. As if we're not compatible.
I sighed and just opened my books to read. My phone vibrated on the table, I didn't realize I was connected to the wifi. I saw a facebook notification.
Haruto confirmed my friend request.
"I thought he's in a meeting," I whispered to myself before clicking on my phone to see haruto's facebook.
It was really blank. I thought it was just set on private. He didn't respond on my pending request on IG.
I just shrugged it off and continued doing a bookmark for my research paper. A smile showed up on my face when I remember I'm doing it with Haruto this Saturday.
"You are really a weirdo, Park Jeongwoo," I heard a voice and I looked up to see Haruto carrying a laptop in his arms as he took the seat in front of me. He is smirking again.
I suddenly felt shy because I was just thinking about him earlier and he just showed up.
"U-uh, I was just happy," I watched him raising his brow while typing something on his laptop.
"Happy because..." he was waiting me to say in addition.
"I aced a quiz!" I was happy to come up with that excuse. It's not like I can say I'm happy I'll see him this Saturday, that sounds so clingy, I think?
"Something new?" he was trying to show a mocking face and I just rolled my eyes. It's not like it's the first time.
"I heard you're smart," he said giving me a genuine smile as his eyes was smiling with it. He's smiling often already.
"You are making up a story, I think," not buying what he just said. He shrugged his shoulder, lips pursed into a thin line.
"That was true, hmmm two of our professors just mentioned you earlier saying you are on my level," I didn't knew I was already laughing at what he said. He is bragging again. What's new.
"But seriously, Mrs. Kim and Mr. Choi found you smart, they said you write such impressive essays. Is it true?" he was trying to joke around with the question he asked. I nodded my head, confidence took over.
"I think I do write the best essay," this time he was the one already laughing. I think I'm learning from his bragging skills, wow.
"Excuse me, Mr. Watanabe and company, please low down your voices," the librarian in charged warned, some students already watching but it was the first time I did not bother.
;
I was waiting for Jae at the parking lot area because he told me he's coming. Haruto is a busy person, he's always not around during the end of classes.
I seated myself on the bench as I sipped on my banana milk. I never felt so relaxed like this before, I remember I couldn't afford to seat here because I'm afraid students will find me annoying.
I looked at my reflection on my phone screen, staring at my face with thick eyeglasses, a kid with braces and a dark skin. People hate the way I look. But whenever I look at my face in the mirror, I can't bring myself to hate it too. Maybe because I see some traits of my Dad's features in me. He told me before, I will grow and hit puberty, so I never find myself pressured about my appearance.
I was stunned when I saw Yoshinori looking at me as he was about to hopped in on his (motorcycle). I just bowed down my head as a greeting when once again he showed me a smile. The same smile from yesterday.
"You're not coming home, yet?" he asked, smile still flustered on his face. I awkwardly shook my head.
"I'm still waiting for Jaehyuk..." I answered. He nodded his head.
"Jeongwoo, thank you," there were no hint of sarcasm with that, it was just his smile. I wanted to ask what his thank you means but I don't want to assume it's because I'm friends with his brother.
I mean... is it because of that?
"See you around," he said and waved his hand before stepping on the paddle and left.
"I mean, Jae, he never smiles at me before! He never bullied me, but he's friend with Jihoon so basically, I think he hates me?!" I started screaming when I was telling Jaehyuk about Yoshinori's out of the blue warm treatment to me. It's kind of a big deal to me tho. It really is!
"Maybe he's just thankful you're friends with his lonely brother?" flicking his brow, he said putting more chips in his mouth. We are lying on my bed talking about random things.
"You think so? I also think it's because of that. Remember yesterday, I and Haruto were laughing when they came and he started saying like it's seems a big deal seeing Haruto smile again," I said making Jae chuckled.
"You are so cute, Woo. You look like enjoying Haruto's company, I'm kind of jealous," he joked messing with my hair.
"C'mon! You both are different! You are my best friend, the only one," I said smiling. He let out a chuckle and smiled afterwards.
"It's not like it's impossible for you to be best friends with Haruto, he seems kind even though he looks so cold," he shrugged his shoulder, almost putting everything in his mouth after I got no chips from the paper bag.
"I think you enjoyed my chips so much," I said. He laughed at me after throwing another chips on my face.
"By the way, do you know someone named Mahada Asahi?" I was about to choke when he asked. I just remember Haruto using that against Asahi the last time.
"It's Hamada," I said and laughed.
"Oh." he said spacing out, maybe trying to remember the name he read.
"He's friends with Jihoon. Haven't you seen him around here before? That's impossible," he looked like trying to remember again but he ended up shaking his head.
"I only saw that annoying guy named Junkyu and Hyunsuk, that guy in green hair, and of course Yoshinori, who looks like the most impossible guy to hang out with your jerk brother," he said.
"Don't worry, I'll tell you if ever he's around," I said giving him a meaningful smile but he just furrowed his brows at me
"I'm not interested?" he said clueless.
"But he is," I whispered trying not to tell him about Asahi.
"I heard you saying something, Jeongwoo, come again?" he asked, closing a distance and waited for me to say it.
I just laughed at it and he already stopped asking as if he was weirded with me.
;
Friday came so fast! Today is a half-day class with only P.E and Peace Education discussion.
I clicked on my locker's dial pad to get my P.E uniform, I always leave it a day after the P.E class so I can make sure I have it.
We'll be using the field today because of sports related discussion— volleyball. I don't know if I can play it but our professor said it won't be graded which is fine if you can't play that well yet.
I changed onto my jogging pants, wearing the yellow tee shirt. Our teacher was already ringing his bell making everyone run outside the building.
I feel my heart aching after I reached the grass field. That's weird. This is the first time it hurt even I didn't just woke up from sleeping.
I just drank water to calm my nerves down.
I realized it's not only our class who's using the field. There's Haruto's class too. I didn't saw him earlier.
"Okay, class, we're sharing the field with Class A for today! Please refrain from doing unnecessary stuffs if not instruction, are we clear?" Mr. So said. We all shouted yes in unison.
Class A are seating on the grass, warming up. Meanwhile our professor is giving basic lectures about volleyball before proceeding to the actual game.
I was having a hard time wearing my thick eyeglass as we are already doing the warm up, making some of classmates started laughing.
"That idiot, really," a guy from the same class said watching me drop my eyeglass after trying to reach out for my feet. This warm up sucks.
"Park Jeongwoo, are you okay, there?" our professor asked after seeing me having a hard time on my eyeglasses which fell on the ground as I try to reach for it.
"Y-yes, sir," I said after I picked it up and wear my eyeglasses again. Trying to ignore some glances from the other class.
I didn't know I can actually play volleyball which made me really happy, even our professor was saying I am doing good. Class A is watching, but I wasn't able to see Haruto around.
"Okay, Mr. Choi, in line," I was assigned to throw the ball for my classmates.
I saw Minhee smirking as he faced me, his hands ready to catch the ball when it directly hit me on my face when he threw it back to me
The back of my head met the ground, bleed flowing down from my nose as my head ached afterwards.
I saw a familiar frame in front of me, as it cupped my face.
"Ya, Jeongwoo," he tried waking me up but afterwards, the blackness surrounded my eyesight.
I can feel the ache at my back, I think it hurts more than the fact that Minhee hit the ball on my face.
"You're awake," Haruto seating beside the bed, reading a book, he is wearing his P.E uniform.
"My back hurts," I said, my face surely says it all.
"That Minhee purposely hit you," he said with finality. I frowned knowing it's something possible.
Minhee is one of the smartest students in our class. Maybe he is hating on me more, now.
"Your brother was watching awhile ago but he didn't help you," he said, making me feel bad with something so obvious.
"A jerk," he judged. I just sighed.
"I'm sorry for bothering you, Haruto. You missed your class because of me," playing with my hands as I realized it.
"It's fine, I'm a friend," he said meaningfully. A smile showed up afterwards which made me smile too.
"You're cheesy," I said and laughed.
"What," he said with disbelief. Does Haruto realized how different he looks when he smiles?
He looks brighter— his eyes, his perfect curved lips, his well-formed brows and long eyelashes. I wish I can be effortlessly pretty like him. For sure there's a justice to why a lot of students are crushing on him.
"Are you feeling okay, now? I'm hungry," he complained, hands on his tummy.
"Oh my, I'm sorry about that, Haruto! You can leave me here, I'm good! Have your lunch already," he left out a chuckle when he picked up my bag with his.
"You're taking a lunch with me, idiot," he said smiling. He was just there standing looking at me.
"It's my treat," he said as if that will excite me. I laughed.
"Okay!" I said after the nurse assist me saying I can actually leave already.
We walked our way out of the University with pairs of eyes watching, the fact that Haruto is carrying my bag seems awkward now there are few students witnessing it. But I'm injured, I think that's an excuse, even though the bandage was on my face not on my hands nor shoulders.
Haruto gave me a death stare when he realized I'm walking too slow.
"Ya, I'm sorry," I said laughing when he already crossed the road.
"I swear, you're annoying," he said smirking. I just smiled.
We entered a restaurant nearby. It's already 1:00 in the afternoon, which is why we are both starving. I ordered a bucket of chicken and lemon juice, Haruto ordered a pork cutlet.
"I doubt you're sharing that with me," he said eyes on the bucket of chicken in front of us. I laughed remembering how much I love chicken.
"I'm confirming your thought," I said biting a piece of chicken.
"skinny pig," he noted, focused on his food.
"By the way, our adviser told us about a student from your class transfering to our class," he said chewing his food. But he still look neat.
"Really? Our adviser haven't mentioned about that. I bet it's Minhee." I said thinking over possibilities. He is qualified among us, it's not that I'm setting aside my classmates' potential, but I think it will be him.
"You don't think it's you?" he asked seriously which I laughed at.
"It can't be me, tho. I'm not as intelligent as Minhee," I said eyes awkward to meet Haruto's gaze. He looks like he wants to hear me say it's possible.
"You don't believe in yourself, Jeongwoo," he concluded. I pouted.
"I'm just stating the truth," I said, my eyes still on my plate. It will be damn hard for me to be in his class, I feel like I'll become insecure.
"No, you're just afraid to say you think it's you," smirking, he sliced the piece of pork as he chew on it.
"Ya, I am not thinking that," I defended. He laughed a bit just nodding his head pretending he is buying what I've said.
We finished our foods pretty satisfied. Haruto insisted he's walking me home because he said he's buying something near our road.
There was a silence in between of us when we were just walking, inhaling the fresh air. I couldn't help myself not to smile realizing that this is the first time I'm walking way back to our home, with a friend I've never expected to be friends with.
I never seen Haruto before that much as well, I've see him play for the University's program when we were at fourth year high school, but when it's regular classes, he's nowhere to be found. And whenever I see him there is an unbearable sadness underneath him. I know. I can feel it. Because that's how I am.
"You're thinking something deep, I can say," he said, his hands in his pocket. I shook my head.
"Nothing," I smiled at him to assure him there's none when in fact I wanted to ask him what's making him sad.
"Okay then," he nodded his head, lips pursed forming a thin line as he smiled. I did not realized we're already in front of the mansion.
"See you tomorrow, Park Jeongwoo," he said a smile flustered on his face.
"Cure your wounds," he reminded.
"I will. See you, Haruto," I waved my hand at him. I feel like I just breathed normally, smiling genuinely around him and making myself known. It scares me but it makes me deeply happy.
I'm happy I'm friends with Haruto.