Dear Diary,
Everything feels somehow different now. It's just that... nothing has changed as I know it, yet, nothing will ever be the same.
My secret is out after what's been practically a hundred years and I feel nothing? Is that even possible?
Okay, perhaps I was a bit extreme. I certainly feel more love for Bucky in the fact that we can now be free but, still. It almost feels anti-climactic in a sense.
This freedom I now feel, it does certainly feel worth it, if that means anything. I mean, everyone's reaction to our kiss was phenomenal. It was surreal how warm I felt in that moment knowing how surrounded by support and love we truly were.
Sure, no one has really made a big stink about us being so open yet, but I have a feeling Tony will be the first... and the last.
I feel like who I am, not who I was supposed to be. I guess that feeling of being someone else may always remain with me a little bit, but this newfound self within self is like nothing else. Is that even possible, though?
The notion that who one is and who one is supposed to be are not the same thing? Who's to say they aren't, in fact, just that? I mean, wouldn't it make sense for one's future and present, so long as they are headed in the exact same direction, to be exactly one and the same?
Is this to say that I, pre and post serum, am different people? Or, is it simply that my pre serum self is who I am and my post serum self is who I was supposed to be, I just now happen to be both at once and suddenly feeling that I lean more one way than the other?
By God, this whole 'actually having rights' thing, while liberating, is confusing.
~ Steve R.